Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Caption This Cheny Pic

(Stephen Crowley/ New York Times)

"Ahhh. Back on the grassy knoll. After all this time. Feels good."

Spell Name: Mind Control
Range: Line of Sight
Saving Throw: Will

"I'm pantless, fuckers. I'm pantless and high and there's SHIT you can do about it."

116 comments:

Thomas said...

Enchantment (Compulsion) [Mind-Affecting]
Level: Brd 1, Sor/Wiz 1

Your gestures and droning incantation fascinate nearby creatures, causing them to stop and stare blankly at you. In addition, you can use their rapt attention to make your suggestions and requests seem more plausible.

While the subject is fascinated by this spell, it reacts as though it were two steps more friendly in attitude. This allows you to make a single request of the affected creature (provided you can communicate with it). The request must be brief and reasonable. Even after the spell ends, the creature retains its new attitude toward you, but only with respect to that particular request.

A creature that fails its saving throw does not remember that you enspelled it.

Unknown said...

Oh, you you broke it out old school, Thomas. I should have taken the time to check it out.

Anonymous said...

"...And there y'all have it, America. Now ya'll know the answer. The vice-president does shit in the woods. Thanks, Dick."

Anonymous said...

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? Oh yeah? OK."

Justin Cognito said...

"I saw something nasty in the woodshed."

R.A. Porter said...

"Dance, Monkey. Dance!"

Kenneth Fair said...

"Don't mind me, just marking my territory."

Anonymous said...

John, for a film guy, you really missed it on this one.
Check out:
http://www.wonkette.com/politics/dick-cheney/dick-cheney-coming-from-inside-the-house-249370.php

for the YouTube video of this. It is... there are no words.

Wil Wheaton said...

Summon Cheney

Target President gains +5/+5 (+20/+50 against Media) until end of turn. Country must sacrifice all Civil Liberties and send Constitution to the graveyard on next upkeep.

Anonymous said...

"Good. Good! Use your aggressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow through you."

Redag said...

VPOTUS: protecting your peace of mind from pharmacologically-enabled tumescence since 2007.

Anonymous said...

Brian Q:

Awesome quote, but I prefer "All is proceeding as I have foreseen...heh, heh, heh, heh!"

Regards,
CHV

Anonymous said...

"Pay no attention to the man behind the shrubbery!"

Pokerwolf said...

Dick Cheney takes the BushBot(TM), provided by the Jim Henson Company, on it's first live run.

Anonymous said...

Dick: (whining) When is he gonna finish his speech already so we can keep playing Man-O'-War?

Unknown said...

C-Span: I have to ask you, why'd you... wha... wha... why are you peeing... right here?
Cheney: What?
C-Span: I mean... why'd you pee right next to me when you could like, choose that bush, or...
Cheney: Well, this bush looked like I should pee on it. Why are you peeing on it?
C-Span: Well, no one was here when I chose this bush.
Cheney: Oh, so you get to pee on it and no one else does? Huh?
C-Span: No, it's just... I just...
Cheney: This your bush? You have a special bond with this bush?
C-Span: No, I just thought that...
Cheney: You the king of the forest?
C-Span: I'm sorry?
Cheney: What?
Cheney: You fuckin' tree-hugger. IS THIS YOUR SPECIAL BUSH?
[awkward pause]
Cheney: Nice pubes
C-Span: Um, thanks

(with apologies to Harold and Kumar)

Linds said...

1) Be vewy vewy qwiet, we are hunting Democwats.

2) While Darth speaks, the Emporer uses Jedi-mind tricks to convince the media that someone from the Death Star is telling the truth. "Those aren't the WMD's you're looking for."

Sandra said...

"Soon...very soon."

Anonymous said...

Nyahhh, you're a buncha D&D 3.5 dweebs!

Where's the GURPS write-up for that spell?

* * *

Someone should check the spot where Cheney was standing, to look for charred hoof prints, or the sucked-dry husks of missing interns.

R.A. Porter said...

"Mmmblmm...should we be doing this right here?"

"Shut up and finish, Monica."

"But Mr. Vice President..."

"I said finish, Goodling!"

albany layman said...

"You know, we should be able to find a transmitter that works from more than 100 feet away - OK, now say, "the Democrat party hates our troops." Excellent. Well said, Mr. President."

OR

Bush may allow Cheney free reign over the country's foreign policy, but he does have one rule: No "quail hunting" on White House property. Here, Cheney hopefully awaits Bush's permission to unload on a reporter or two.

Anonymous said...

What art thou that usurp'st this time of night,
Together with that fair and warlike form
In which the majesty of buried Cheney
Did sometimes march? by heaven I charge thee, speak!

Anonymous said...

"Ready...aim..."

Wil Wheaton said...

Okay, one more:

"These bushes are absorbent, but they're nowhere near as absorbent as the Constitution!"

Anonymous said...

Come to think of it, didn't a young Dick Cheney play one of those creepy white-haired kids in the original "Village of The Damned"?

If so, he's obviously still got his powers.

Josh said...

...finds a convenient streetlight, steps outta the shade, says somethin' like:

"You an' me babe -- how 'bout it?"

Anonymous said...

Oh crap! Dropped the cue card!

Anonymous said...

The definitive caption is here.

Anonymous said...

I see some people are comiong back for seconds. OK, me too.

This is IT:

All Your Base Are Belong To Us!

>bowing<

Thank kew.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunatley for cheney advisors the simple instruction "Stand next to Bush" does indeed leave room for error.

impwork said...

"I'll not cheat this time Dick. Promise. You can impeach me if I do. Now you go and hide and I'll count to a hundred before I start looking for you. Yes I'll cover my eyes. I'm starting counting now just like my friends in Florida showed me to. 1, 2, 3, 10, 49, 99, 100. Coming Ready or Not."

Anonymous said...

"Oooiil can... oooooiiiilll can!"

Anonymous said...

Ack, which Bush do I pay attention to? Um... hmm... this one has pretty green leaves, and it's not making an ass of itself. Decision made!

Anonymous said...

Plan 9? Ah, yes. Plan 9 deals with the resurrection of the dead. Long distance electrodes shot into the pineal and pituitary gland of the recently dead.

Anonymous said...

or...

...From all I've seen tonight, guns won't do any good. Clay's dead, and we buried him. How are we gonna kill someone who's already dead? *Dead*! And yet there he stands!

japhy99 said...

"Bet I could shoot him in the face from here."

Christian Lindke said...

Man and with Bush's negative Will Save Cheney didn't even need the Spell Focus [Enchantment] feat.

laxel said...

Don't you wonder why the bush is greener over here?

Gridlock said...

[Penguin]Gnuuuurgh[/Penguin]

Gridlock said...

"Bush started to regret his policy of funding the White House's toilets through Supplemental Funding attachments"

Doug said...

Dick Cheney, a shadowy lurking figure with no fixed address.

Anonymous said...

"Marco ... "

Unknown said...

From the shadows, he waits. When the sunlight moves, he knows he can reach his target in one swift move and finally take his rightful place in the world.

Ross said...

Man, the President's poll numbers really are down this year.

Kos said...

"I think it's about time I started standing behind a different bush."

Anonymous said...

"Yes. Lure the Press closer my minion. Soon I will feast."

coltrane said...

The sunlight! It burns us! IT BURNSS!!!

Anonymous said...

See Dick.
See Dick lurk.
Lurk, Dick, LURK.

Joseph Dietrich said...

The Shadow's power to cloud men's minds doesn't work through camera lenses.

Unknown said...

What if I ask him to the prom and he says no?

Anonymous said...

Wow! You can't even see his lips move!

Unknown said...

Next, watch while Cheney drinks a glass of water!

Thomas said...

Dominate, Psionic
Telepathy (Compulsion) [Mind-Affecting]
Level: Telepath 4
Display: Mental
Manifesting Time: 1 round
Range: Medium (100 ft. + 10 ft./level)
Target: One humanoid
Duration: Concentration
Saving Throw: Will negates
Power Resistance: Yes
Power Points: 7

As the dominate person spell, except as noted here.

Bill E. said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cip0jbZWzY

The video from this moment, to the tune of Radiohead's 'Creep'. Brilliant.

Anonymous said...

Better safe than sorry, just in case someone does indeed start beating around the bush.

Anonymous said...

Is that a streetlight or a UFO?

Anonymous said...

Why is Cyrano de Bergerac is always checked out of the White House library?

James Patrick Joyce said...

BUSH
The Cheney4000 is fully safe, people. All’s I got to say is Klaatu… Veranda? Ah, um… Nicotine… Klaatu
(clears throat)
Like that. Heh, heh. Safe.

Anonymous said...

Naw, Cheney just knows that Bush is about to have his Mr Creosote moment and explode in a shower of bullshit. He just wants to be out of the blast radius

Anonymous said...

Rook to King four.

J. Edward Tremlett said...

"Why are you wearing that human suit?"

Teddy said...

"Excellent, young Jedi. The powers of the Dark Side shall soon be your's to command. [evil laughter]"

Unknown said...

"Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb."

jp said...

"aaaaaah. whew. close call. Maybe I should look into those Depends."

Jim Crapia said...

"heh heh... see here, I speak into this... heh... you can't even see my lips move... now, now watch this... heh... push this button and he says, he says something stupid, right, and..."

Anonymous said...

US President Tim Kalemkarian, US Senate Tim Kalemkarian, US House Tim Kalemkarian: best major candidate.

Unknown said...

In a bush, watching a Bush, be a bush.

Anonymous said...

I say ,I say Dick

Unknown said...

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Anonymous said...

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Unknown said...

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Unknown said...

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水虫
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Unknown said...

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Unknown said...

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高松 不動産
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ソニー損保
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Unknown said...

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お見合いパーティー
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賃貸
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埼玉 ハウスメーカー
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出産祝い
プリンセスルーム
toefl
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ローン
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クレジットカード決済
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電話会議
不動産 東京
医療支援

Unknown said...

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高松 不動産
芳療
精油
障害者
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広島 不動産
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野生動物
自動車保険
出会いサイト
アメリカンホームダイレクト
募金
不動産
アスクル
自動車保険 比較
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Anonymous said...

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回转支承
转盘轴承
slewing ring
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slewing bearings
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iiycx

Anonymous said...

デザイン 専門学校
競馬予想
三井ダイレクト
アルバイト 求人情報
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有料老人ホーム
為替
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競馬
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賃貸
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看護
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沖縄旅行
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結婚式
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Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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Unknown said...

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Anonymous said...

cara yang alami menyembuhkan penyakit wasir ambeien secara alami dengan menggunakan daun ungu serta mahkotadewa aman untuk ibu hamil tanpa operasi cukup dengan menggunakan obat wasir herbal ambeclear terbuat

Anonymous said...

wasir ambeien bisa sembuh tanpa harus di operasi maupun injeksi cukup dengan obat wasir ambeien herbal ambeclear herbal de nature dari daun ungu serta mahkotadewa aman untuk ibu hamil

Unknown said...

Penyakit kencing nanah bisa disebabkan oleh beberapa faktor seperti seks bebas, penularan, virus hpv, lingkungan, gaya hidup dan lainnya, Maka dari itu kita harus waspada dengan penyakit kencing nanah ini, karena penyakit kencing nanah sangatlah berbahaya, Namun untuk anda yang menderita penyakit kencing nanah, maka anda tidak perlu khawatir,

Unknown said...

Berapa Harga untuk Obat Wasir Ambeien alami daun ungu AmbeclearAmbeien adalah gangguan atau penyakit yang terjadi pada saluran pencernaan manusia

Pengobatan Ambeien Wasir said...

facebook

ekstrakalam said...

1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1

Cara Mengobati Wasir Ambeien said...

pengobatan herbal

Pengobatan Ambeien Wasir said...

MANTAB * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ***

obar herbal manjur alami said...

MANTAB * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *******

Unknown said...

MANTAB * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * **********

Unknown said...

Kenali penyebab penyakit kencing bernanah sehingga cara mengobati
penyakit kencing nanah dan infeksi saluran kencing nanah dapat dilakukan
dengan benar.

Cara Mengobati Wasir Ambeien said...

MANTAB *

Unknown said...

Kadang disertai
dengan sakit saat kencing, perih, organ intim terasa panas menyiksa,
gatal,..

kLINIK oBAT mANJUR said...

Bismillahhirrohmaanirrokhim.... *********************************

Unknown said...

Sekitar Vagina Tumbuh Daging, Berbahayakah? Kutil Pada Kepala Penis mirip bunga kol atau jengger ayam, Merupakan Penyakit Yang diakibatkan Oleh Virus.Kutil kelamin, atau disebut juga condyloma acuminata, adalah kutil atau daging berwarna kulit atau keabuan yang tumbuh di sekitar alat kelamin dan

Unknown said...

Ambeclear dari De Nature Ampuh Tuntaskan Wasir Sampai Tuntas.

Unknown said...

penyakit yang ditularkan melalui hubungan seks : vaginal, oral dan anal. Juga dapat menular melalui persentuhan kulit dengan daerah yang terinfeksi.

Unknown said...

Obat Ambeien Resep Dokter Ambeclear dari De Nature Ampuh Tuntaskan Ambeien Sampai Tuntas

Unknown said...

Ambeien bisa mengeluarkan darah(seperti invander salim yang terkena ambeien dan mengeluarkan darah)

Unknown said...

Sebelum kita membahas tentang pengobatan ambeien, dalam kesempatan ini
saya ingin menjelaskan sekilas tentang ambeien, agar kita semua bisa
memahami benar apa itu penyakit ambeien

Unknown said...

obat wasir, Adalah  Obat alami berkhasiat dalam bentuk kapsul yang berasal dari tanaman herbal seperti daun ungu, mahkota dewa dan kunyit putih, diberikan pada penderita jika penyakit masih dalam tingkatan stadium ringan

kLINIK oBAT mANJUR said...

Bismillahhirrohmaanirrokhim.... ***************************

kLINIK oBAT mANJUR said...

Bismillahirrohmannirrokhim ......................................

obar herbal manjur alami said...

Bismillahhirrohmaanirrokhim.... ************************************

kLINIK oBAT mANJUR said...

Bismillahirrohmannirrokhim ...............................

obar herbal manjur alami said...

???????????????????????????????????????

Unknown said...

???????????????????????????????

kLINIK oBAT mANJUR said...

1111111111111111111111111

kLINIK oBAT mANJUR said...

111111111111111111111

obar herbal manjur alami said...

111111111111111111111111111111

Obat Keputihan Herbal Alami said...

1111111111111111111111111111111111111111

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Unknown said...

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kLINIK oBAT mANJUR said...

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Anonymous said...

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