Ashley Smith, the woman who says she persuaded suspected courthouse gunman Brian Nichols to release her by talking about her faith in God, discloses in a new book that she gave him methamphetamine during the hostage ordeal.
I am feeling seriously ripped off here. All we Catholics get is stinkin' WINE.
12 comments:
Wow. That's brilliant. I wish I hadn't seen it so I could say I came up with it. Oh well.
Okay,
The bread is the body. The wine is the blood.
What part is the crystal meth?
The nuns didn't cover this in high school.
Gives a new dimension to the term, "The Rapture."
"Crystal Methodist" now that's funny. good to know the "Comedy fire" still burns so deep in you, but when we were growing up it was a good thing if all you got from your parrish priest was wine.
sure, it's not very christian to bribe your captor with illegal controlled substances.
but let's not forget a more basic fact: this supposedly pious woman, held up as an example by the fundamentalists as a godly influence on a violent criminal...this woman had crystal meth just lying around!!
evangelism at its best.
Best excuse for holding in a red state ever.
"This officer? Oh, I'm just keeping this around in case a large Negro accosts me. Yes, thank you. Yes. Jesus loves you too. Yes."
It's all the fault of Gerin Oil.
http://www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/article_details.php?id=7036
Hmmm... looks like that didn't take.
Try the short one:
http://tinyurl.com/dlm3j
Not that I am claiming to have invented the phrase, I saw it on a church sign while on a road trip once, but I did post a similar comment on an IIDB thread at 8:45 am. I would also like to point out that 8:45 is 3 hours and 15 minutes before noon. I would also like a pony.
BTW the sign I mentioned was on a Methodist church in Crystal, North Dakota. See here: http://tinyurl.com/as6ao
If anyone wants to contact the real Crystal Methodists for comment on this story their phone number is (701) 657-2371.
Cheers,
Naked Ape
"Hope is not a plan."
Crystal meth on the other hand, now that's a fuckin' plan...
This story's local for me. Happened about ten or twelve miles away. The young lady in question was known to have led a pretty screwed-up life right up to the point where Nichols (who had just killed a bunch of people at the Fulton County [Atlanta] Courthouse) appeared at her door.
She'd been convicted of some petty theft IIRC, and lost custody of her daughter. Since then, she appears to have been trying to straighten herself out. This being the Deep South, she's been immersed to some degree or another in fundamentalist Christianity (e.g. Southern Baptist). It's not surprising that she'd interpret this wild experience - a whipsaw in one day from fearing for her life to being a minor celebrity - as a message from God. So she's moving ahead, and using the 'religious conversion' get-out-of-jail-free card.
Personally, I give her some credit for being honest about her past. On the other hand, I think her theology sucks, since it implies God allowed Nichols to murder several people before He arranged for their little tête - à - tête.
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