Friday, July 22, 2005

Deadline Hell

And so, nothing further today. Will work on the promised upgrades and category changes to the sidebar this weekend. If you've recently crosslinked for pimpage, please remind me with an e-mail. I think I've got my list together, but not sure.

One quick thing, though, for all the young directors out there: slo-mo is not your friend. SLO MO IS NEVER YOUR FRIEND.

34 comments:

John Donald Carlucci said...

I thought montage was not your friend? This sounds like an interesting story.

JDC

Euge said...

Wait, I thought voiceover wasn't your friend. And flashback was voiceover's dick of a friend.

Rogers said...

Voiceover is the friend who fucked your prom date. However, both flashback and montage, can be a "hey, didn't know they could lift that couch" useful kind of friend.

BenDavid said...

Slow motion is a good friend that can overstay his welcome or arrive when totally unecessary and wholly innapropriate. He's the friend you hang out with, not the friend you call when you get dumped.

BenDavid said...

A conscious montage can be a really great thing. Also, I've yet to hear an argument that has effectively proven that Friday Night Lights is nothing short of a 2 hour montage... a kickass two hour montage. Berg was tripping balls, and although NPH wouldn't do that, he would... and I think it worked beautifully. However, there's nothing worse than a film that creates montages out of deleted scenes, otherwise known as the Chris Moore School of Post. American Pie 2 and American Wedding have elaborate montage sequences that were concieved in post, a mismatched collection of extended takes and subplots that would have always been abandoned during the screenwriting phase if anyone had a flying fuck idea what they were doing. I would have liked to have seen the earlier version of AP2 at the very least, to see Stifler's dad, the entire second act of the film, and other assorted JB "cowbell nipple piercing" Rogers came up with.

Rogers said...

No, no, do not trust slo mo. He only appears to be your friend, regardless of his intentions or your expectations.

BenDavid said...

I started listing classic film moments that wouldn't be as effective if they hadn't been in slo-mo, but once I reached 435, I figured... what the hell... leave it be. It's a matter of opinion. Maybe slo-mo is the friend you vouch for, then find out you were wrong when he skips town owing everyone money, and you find out he really didn't graduate from college, and he's addicted to pogs. Maybe slo-mo isn't our friend after all. Maybe an acquintance at best. Everything I thought I knew was a lie.

William said...

Peckinpah, genius.

Everyone else, nice try slappy.

Rogers said...

precisely. Slo mo is the friend who was REALLY good that ONE time, but every other time you've been out with im -- BETRAYAL!

SMurphy said...

Yeah. Slo-mo is not your friend. Unless you're Peckinpah. Or Woo. Or the boxing scenes from Raging Bull. Or the Matrix fight scenes. But that's it. Wait, there's also the award montage in Boogie Nights. And the shots of Travis watching Betsy in Taxi Driver. Or the Bride doing a back-flip in Kill Bill Vl. 1. And Steve Austin running (okay, I'll give you that one.) And Buffalo Bill cocking his gun. And the snake-wrestling scene in John Derek's Tarzan, the Ape Man (okay I'll give you that one, too.) But there's still Spider-Man leaping through the Green Goblin's flying blades. And Bruce Willis running through the airport at the end of Twelve Monkeys. And the truck in Duel plunging over the cliff. Or making love on a real train in Risky Business. Or...

John Donald Carlucci said...

Smurphy, don't forget the slow motion reveal of the Umbrella corp logo on the bullets fired by Milla Jovovich in Resident Evil: Apocalypse!

Am I helping?

JDC

John Donald Carlucci said...

There is also a voiceover, flashback, and montage right? I thought bullettime would have improved the film too.

JDC

Rogers said...

No, no, not "Slo mo is not your friend,", it's "Slo mo is not YOUR friend."

And bullet-time's cool because of the swoop, not the slo mo.

Rogers said...

... fools ... seduced by how pretty slo mo looks on the elbows of other directors ... FOOLS ...

William said...

Raging Bull...absolutely, no question.

Matrix, yes.

Taxi Driver, again, Marty gets a pass because he knows the power of overcranking.

BenDavid said...

So, when I'm an old director, can we be friends again?

Bill Cunningham said...

Slo -Mo is the guy at the party you never let get near the keg, because sooner or later some dumb ass is going to have him funneling beer...

Crane shots are the guest who stays over until next morning and you end up having to get them breakfast. Then, after they're gone you find out they puked in your sink.

Joshua said...

Slo-mo is like mopeds and fat girls - fun to ride until your friends see you ;)

Aric Blue said...

>>Voiceover is the friend who fucked your prom date. However, both flashback and montage, can be a "hey, didn't know they could lift that couch" useful kind of friend.>>

Yeah, that voiceover thing didn't work out in movies like "Chinatown" and "Blade Runner".

And John Woo made a career out of slow mo.

They're all just tools. Use them wrong(too much) and they will suck. Use them wisely and they can help a film.

BenDavid said...

Taking the #1 song of the charts and using it for your movie specifically for that reason is the friend that came over on the short bus, going ninety, shat in a purple bucket and called it creativity.

Rogers said...

The voice-over in Blade Runner is widely considered one of the greatest travesties in film history. Do not be seduced by voiceover's dulcet tones.

And yes, yes, John Woo made a career oout of slo mo -- until IT made HIM its bitch! DO NOT TRUST THE TREACHERY OF THE HARLOT SLO MO!! It will wind up using YOU!!

caseyko74 said...

All I have to say is: Get back to work! I am not out here in the heat of New Olrenas summer lugging lumber around so you can complain about deadlines then spend your time posting comments after you have told us you are busy.

Instead, I am here so maybe one day your being busy will mean I will be busy working for you or at least on something you wrote (you know, a New Olreans script or locale in a script wouldn't kill you). Now get to work.

And don't complain about Mr. Bay and the slo mo. The homo erotic scene of Will Smith running down the road in Bad Boys in slo mo made the man a star. As for voice over, personally I love the voice over in Way of the Gun.

Rogers said...

Yessss ... the slo mo tempts us, yes it does, with homo-eroticism, but it drains any actual eroticism from our scene-sies, yesss ....

John Donald Carlucci said...

Wasn't there a bit of voiceover in The Core?

JDC

Rogers said...

Added by STUDIO PHILISTINES!!

BenDavid said...

Soon The Rogers is going to rant about how nothing and no one is your friend. You are truly and utterly alone. Still, American Outlaws could have benefited from some slo-mo and some voice over work. I'm waiting for the sequel, American Inlaws, with Robert De Niro as the stuffy father of the new bride to be, played by Mary Kate and Ashley. Does he get drunk and accidentally sleep with the wrong twin? Yes, he does! Les Mayfield isn't available, as he's too busy swimming through his sea of gold coins, benefit of doing The Man (not directing -- DOING), Scrooge McDuck style. May I suggest Shawn Levy?

James Moran said...

Slo-mo is not our friend? I've got one word for you:

Baywatch.

And don't pretend you never watched it. Or that you watched it for the storylines. Or that you liked the serious scenes, when they'd need to call in that one real actor to come and act for a bit - you know, the ugly bald guy with a tache.

Anonymous said...

By the fact that you bring this up leads me to belive that you saw the Island this weekend. Why does he get to keep making movies? Why? Why? WHY?!?!

Thad said...

Didn't Dave Chapelle teach us that EVERYTHING is better in slow motion?

BenDavid said...

The Island was a goddamned masterpiece. Fuck the haters. I love Bad Boys. I love The Rock. I love Armageddon. I love Bad Boys 2. I bought Pearl Harbor, and now there aren't any rings on my coffee table.

Grumpy said...

Slo-mo is cool -- it's slo-mo's friends who let us down.

But slo-mo also hangs with some awesome company. Showed up while they were filming at the "flatblock marina" for Clockwork Orange and Kubrick said, Sure pal, just do the whole scene.

James Cameron showed slo-mo a good time at Tech Noir.

Friendless, for sure, is Eek! Oh, It Was Just a Cat.

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