Now, a while ago I promised to punch Florida in the neck if it spat one more attention-grabbing dysfunctional headline out on to the rest of the country while we were busy doing grown-up things, like trying to figure out how to pay for a war with immense tax cuts for the rich. Florida is that dick of a drama-queen cousin at the family reunion dinner of America.
Texas, today ... I'm not going to threaten Texas. This story is so weird, so sad, so broken, so goddam terrifying that it's happening in this country in the 21st Century ... this is when you realize that unlike fussy little Florida, Texas is just mean crazy and back away reeeeaaaal slow-like, no fast moves with the hands, and promise yourself to change your locks and phone numbers at the earliest opportunity.