Monday, February 14, 2005

Comics: Womb Crazy!!

Identity Crisis. Avengers Disassembled. The “event” books of the year.

In DC’s Identity Crisis, the loved ones of the JLA are threatened by a mysterious killer. The plot revolves around a dark episode in the group’s past.

In Marvel’s Avengers Disassembled, the Avengers are threatened by a mysterious killer. The plot revolves around a dark episode in the group’s past.

Now, I like, no, LOVE work done by both the writers of these series. But what the hell happened here? In both series, big-time smart heroes are willfully idiotic in order to advance the plot. I’m as big a fan as anyone of a writer finding a neglected character and spiffing them up, but not by making other characters complete dolts. Green Arrow is the new hotness – Yay! Batman is suddenly Hamilton Burgher -- Booo!*

Someone’s gathered all the Avengers into one place and is killing them! Horrors, how will we unravel … oh. Wait. Where’s Wanda? You know, she’s usually right next to us. What are the odds this is the day she would mysteriously disappear? Huh. Anyway – WHO COULD BE USING THEIR INCREDIBLE REALITY-ALTERING POWERS AGAINST US? WHOOOOOOOOO?!

There’s a term in television writing, coined by Hank Azaria when he was working on Herman’s Head. He’d ask the writers “Who’s carrying the idiot ball this week?” In sitcoms, many plots depend on someone making a ridiculously mistaken assumption, or a bad choice, or saying the wrong thing at the wrong time … the character who’s driving the plot that week with their poor judgment is “carrying the idiot ball.”

The idiot ball gets passed around these two series like anime porn at a Japanese middle school. As noted before, Hawkeye dies because his quiver, filled with exploding arrows, catches on fire. You’d think a guy with several pounds of high-explosives strapped to his back would have some sort of quick release system. But no, apparently Tony Stark and Reed Richards hadn’t mastered seat-belt technology. Hey Iron Man, look in a Honda Civic sometime, it’ll knock you on your ass. Jean Loring just happened to be carrying around a flamethrower. As one does. Batman, tracking the villainous Calculator, is outwitted by the equivalent of the old “two pay phones taped together” trick. Time after time, right after a really cool moment, the idiot ball comes smashing through the window.

Moving out of the petty (but not inaccurate) realm of nit-picking, both series have a distressing common theme. This was the year when comics could be summed up by:

“Dah Wimmin’s Gone Craaaazyyyy!”

I’m not going to hop on the violence-misogyny bandwagon here – not just the female heroes come out looking bad in these series, pretty much everybody in a cape does. And I ain’t saying anything there that hasn’t been covered by much smarter people. No, I want to address the villains in these series. Both villains are not just insane … they are insane for specifically weak-ass girly reasons.

Wanda kills because she wants babies. Jen Loring kills because she wants a hug.

They’re not just crazy. They’re WOMB CRAZY.

What. The. Hell? Seriously, are there no female editors? No female friends of these writers who could go “Umm, you know, maybe this kind of sucks?” Good God, this sort of sorry-ass understanding of women’s internal motivations was supposed to have died out in the 1910’s, back when “hysteria” was a madness literally attributed to the presence – not even a disorder in, but the more presence of – wimmin’s parts. Bendis and Meltzer are arguably two of the best guys typing comics right now, and both of their opuses rest on women in the throes of hysterical womb-madness?

No, I repeat, NO year-long universe-shaking arc in comics should be able to be cleared up by time in the community health center’s Talking Circle and some Xanax.

I know I’m just an enthusiastic amateur dipping his toe in a very well-established world. But this shit’s got to stop. There are some very talented writers working on female heroes. Gail Simone; Waid always does them well; call me a slut for him, but Warren Ellis treats ‘em right; Giff, of course; Rucka with Tara Chace and that new SCU boss … and of course a few others. But what we need, really need, is some good female VILLAINS. Somebody maybe a little different from the Madonna/whore complex of Selina Kyle or the “deadly kiss” of Poison Ivy. Even Harley Quinn, as much fun as she is, is a villain because she’s Joker’s girlfriend.

It’s time for some cunning bastard with a double XX-set. Some woman who, when she pops up with a grin on the JLA viewscreen, makes Batman’s teeth grind.

Conan Doyle created Irene Adler in 1891. And comics are still catching up?

*(look it up. I’m not going to explain them all)

41 comments:

Kevin Church said...

Is that a Perry Fucking Mason reference, John? Jesus, man.

Good points, all around. I myself was just thinking about the Evil Supervillainess idea the other day. But then I figured Millar would have Firestorm rape her to death to teach her a lesson.

Benari said...

Thank you. Excellent points. This recent rash of emotionally "hate-fucking" female characters has more than lived up to every bad stereotype heaped upon comic books.

I would also add (the obvious) Neil Gaiman and Alan Moore to the list of those who write women well. And James Robinson, who populated Opal City with an abundance of strong female characters in his brilliant STARMAN series. And he (imho) excellently pulled off the "crazy-chick" villain thing. A nifty sidenote: that run even gave us some nice moments with Ralph and Sue Dibney. In happier times.

What disturbs me even more about these recent "events" is that they weren't even self-contained stories. They were exercises in marketing; short-term fixes for a sinking industry; launching pads for even more event-driven stories to be told later, in several different mini-series events of their own. And we all bought it. And now, we're all supposed to drool in anticipation over the next great crapfest- the NEXT installment of "Watch us fuck up your favorite characters Part 7 of 32."

When comic book events are driven by the killing and/or destruction of existing characters...and no NEW characters are generated from said events...that's when you can see just HOW much trouble the industry is in.

alias420 said...

Wanda killed because she lost touch with reality, not because she wanted babies. Being told her kids are not real isn't the same as wanting babies.

Joel said...

I feel the need to add another name to your list of writers who can handle female characters; Adam Warren. Dude wrote Gen13 for how many issues? Surewhen he's drawing them they tend to look like Playboy playmates but I've always found his writing to be strong.

Anonymous said...

I just want to say, that JLA: Unlimited annoys me in how they use each episode to showcase a new unknown character.

Yes, we need a smart female villain. A real villain. A villainy villain.

ItsWalky said...

Man, stupid Justice League: Unlimited, showcasing new characters. Why can't we just have the same 7 people over and over again? I swear, all this "new" stuff is going to be the death of the industry yet!

benpeek said...

In response to Bendis, I don't think it's been limited to what he did there on Avengers. His stuff last year was uniformly weak, even on POWERS. (I dumped longers comments on my blog for that, rather than fill it up here.)

However, one of the titles I think that's picking up a bit of life and isn't depressing is Joe Casey and Giuseppe Camuncoli's THE INTIMATES. It isn't perfect, but it's only just started, so it's still settling into it's stride, I think. Lots of fun in it, though.

Rogers said...

Wanda killed because she lost touch with reality, not because she wanted babies. Being told her kids are not real isn't the same as wanting babies.A million different ways to show her losing touch with reality, amigo. Also, several characters during the run and linked books specifically mention the kids as the trigger to her deteriorating state -- it's even in one of the flashback sequences in the follow-up, I believe. It was weak-ass sexist writing when it was used the first time, it's even less excusable now. To be fair, it might not have grated on me so much if not for the Identity Crisis coincidence.

Rogers said...

>>Is that a Perry Fucking Mason reference, John? Jesus, man.<<


Damn straight. I lived on those things at 1:00 am on TBS when I was doing stand-up. Perry Mason is the old school ass-kicker of justice, my friend.

Anonymous said...

Not to point this out, but uhh Bendis (who wrote Avengers Disassembeled) has written multiple brilliant female characters. Jinx. Jessica Jones. Deena Pilgrim.

So should only men destroy the universe because their heads are fucked up some way or another?

Or is maybe a consequence of having (finally) a number of A-list authors who can and do routinely write strong, fascinating female characters is that in comics, strong, fascinating characters can go bad, evil, destructive, and downright homicidal?

Rogers said...

>>Not to point this out<<

Oh, you mean to point it out. Go ahead.

>>,but uhh Bendis (who wrote Avengers Disassembeled) has written multiple brilliant female characters. Jinx. Jessica Jones. Deena Pilgrim.<<

Yes, he has. Past performance neither predicts future performance, nor excuses the present choices.

Mmm, and I was so glad to see Jessica's year-long mind-rape and Deena's multiple physical and mental violations this year. Yummy!

>>So should only men destroy the universe because their heads are fucked up some way or another?<<

No, not "fucked up in one way or another". Fucked up in a very specific way, with the womb-crazy. My issue is not with crazy, oterhwise motiveless villains (although it should be) -- I am quite specifically busting on this sad-ass motivation in these two flagship titles, and what I see them representing in the industry.

>>Or is maybe a consequence of having (finally) a number of A-list authors who can and do routinely write strong, fascinating female characters is that in comics, strong, fascinating characters can go bad, evil, destructive, and downright homicidal?<<

Yes, the homicidal housewife and crazy nanny-slayer were so strong and fascinating. I'm usually scrupulously polite in my comments section, but do not bring that weak-ass B-game into my house. That second rate, "no, no, you see this is really empowerment" crap must move right along.

Kevin Church said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kevin Church said...

Or is maybe a consequence of having (finally) a number of A-list authors who can and do routinely write strong, fascinating female characters is that in comics, strong, fascinating characters can go bad, evil, destructive, and downright homicidal?Compared to, what, all the times that women have saved the world in the pages of JLA and Avengers? When Identity Crisis made sure to not only kill a female character of dubious worth (I liked Sue a ton, but I'm a huge fan of the Giffen / DeMatteis JLI), but show that she was raped by a b-list villain and then killed by the wife of one of her teammates, that's some misogyny that Lifetimes wishes their executive producers could come up with. What's the motive force behind the plot of Identity Crisis? Bitch crazy!

Wanda's had an unstable, poorly handled personality for years that veered wildly from competent housewife of android to semi-crazy magic chick. Bendis's last minute "resolution" with Dr Strange apparently never deciding to tell his teammates "Bitch crazy?" before Purple Arrow got offed? Contrived, to say the least and with so many other characters that could conceivably have gone bad with much less patchwork and connect-the-dots? I expected better, to say the least.

Kevin Church said...

That's it. I give up on trying to properly format a comment in this shizzle. You got the point, right?

Anonymous said...

The canonical strong female character going crazy and trying to destroy the world remains Dark Phoenix. And she didn't do it because of OMG the WOMB CRAZY! She did it because a genuine Villain-with-a-capital-V was playing mindfuck games with her.

Marvel, how far you've fallen.

1031 said...

But hey, at least Rags Morales and David Finch are great freakin' artists, right?

I read both these storylines and I gotta say, I enjoyed them for what they were, or what they tried to be, and didn't attempt to read a whole lot more into them.

I'll certainly admit that there are apparent misogynistic themes to both stories, and that both stories use some weak character moments, the "idiot ball," as John put it.

But we're talkin' about superhero comics here. I'm all for comics being taken seriously as art and literature, and I love me some deep, personal indie books, but I just don't look to the pervert suit books for real deep meaning, y'know?

For every Identity Crisis, there's a Queen & Country, y'know?

I think that perhaps that IC and Disassembled were a bit lazy in their respective antagonists' motivations, and there was definitely some lazy writing involved, but I just look at them as stories that were created to set things up down the road.

I'll wait til DC's Countdown book, and the assorted mini-series that spin-off from it (well, okay, I'm only gonna read Rucka's), and BENDIS!'s House of M story to pass final judgement on whether or not the womb crazy women are treated fairly or not.

But, yes, there definitely need to be some new female villains in the Big Two's universes. New characters in general, really. Sometimes the same old thing is just old.

benpeek said...

forgot to add that brian k. vaughan and pia guerra's Y: THE LAST MAN is actually a good title for female characters. kinda has to be, really.

Hannibal Tabu said...

You said there needs to be a new female villain of note. I'd be interested in knowing what you think of Veronica Cale in Wonder Woman. I'd also be interested in getting exclusive leaks of your TF script work for my column at CBR, but I'll take what I can get. >8^)

Joe Killian said...

I'm all for new characters as long as they're NEW.

This does not mean Spider Girl.

This does not mean a re-heated She-Hulk.

This does not mean trying to revive the 2099 line.

This does not mean taking the same characters, prying off the Comics Code Authority stamp and selling them to us under the brilliant faux-dangerous tag "Marvel Knights" - particularly if you will then try to fashion them into some sort of lame, loose Superhero team that make the Champions look like a cohesive and interesting combo.

Marvel has attracted some of the best talent in the biz because they're now willing to do things content-wise that DC's been doing as long as I've read comic books. And in many cases this has worked and been enough. I love Grant Morrison on X-Men. I love Warren Ellis on Iron Man and Ultimate FF. I'm really digging Ed Brubaker's Captain America and, though at times it sort of revolts me, I do like The Ultimates.

But it does seem to me that for all of their invention they're still dragging their feet about doing creator-owned books (DC Vertigo's creative secret weapon) and so they're left trying to find ways for Thor and The Hulk and The Fantastic Four to be relevant and interesting.

The Avengers: Disassembled thing is, I agree, a step in the wrong direction. I'm against killing off long-standing characters to sell books in the first place (though honestly, I could give a fuck about Hawkeye or anybody else who wants to fight modern Super Villains with a bow and trick arrows). But if you ARE going to kill them, do it in an interesting way. Do it in some way that makes sense. Make it a proper mystery.

And somehow I hate The Scarlet Witch and the idea of The Scarlet With so much that it trumps any of my concerns about poor female writing. This is a character who's so unstable, insecure and prone to violent mood swings that it's almost become a cliche for her to throw the group into danger.

But, I think, since the mid-70s the Avengers have been a sort of group-therapy session with intersting costumes that, as often as not, creates villains as quickly as they put them down. And often within their own ranks. From the first issues of the book The Hulk was killing people, totalling cities, and then proving himself a true hero and worth being an Avenger. Since then we've cycled through Henry Pym's breakdowns and villainous personalities and creations, through Vision and the Scarlet Witch's respective crackups and family problems...it really is enough to ask the whole deconstructionalist comic question...do these heroes do more harm than good, especially in groups?

Brian said...

You're damn right man... even the Dark Pheonix Saga can't be counted.

Oh, it wasn't the woman's fault. It was that mad cosmic entity thing that did all the damage.

Yeah right! PMS and cosmic power would definitely lead to one or two planet consumations :)

- B

ProfJim said...

What does it say about comics that the stories I've enjoyed the most this past year are revisits with old school Silver Age. I'm thinking of the Averngers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes limited series and especially Darwyn Cooke's DC: The New Frontier. I've reread that several times and for me at least am convinced that this will hold up and be remembered long after Identity Dismembered is forgotten.

Unless it turns out at the Centre - the alien island that time forgot, is actually a woman and the prehistoric monsters are her babies.

John C. Turner said...

Hell yes, we need a strong female villain! Then Superman can kick her ass! For pages!

POW POW POW

"HOW DO YOU LIKE IT EVIL WOMAN? HOW THE FUCK DO YOU LIKE IT?"

POW POW POW

Teeth flying everywhere.

"Goddamn you Superman just take me to prison"

"What? What'd you say, WOMAN? Eat SUPERBOOT!"

POW POW POW

"..."

POW POW POW

Benari said...

See - the biggest problem with both of these giant stunts is that it DOES fall short - faaaar short - of the "Dark Phoenix Saga." Does anyone remember *how* she dies? Jean sacrifices herself. Even with the retcons, it's still Jean's personality and inherrent *goodness* that saves the day. As opposed to "bitch crazy" in these current stories. What's more harmful is that "Identity Crisis" was spotlighted in the NEW YORK TIMES - possibly garnering new readers who, upon picking up the series, would find a comic book world filled with superheroes too stupid to figure out the obvious and women getting beaten, raped, and murdered. And there was no depth to it. Sue never deals with it - we find out after she's been BRUTALLY MURDERED. Everyone else just has their minds wiped... lalalala. It plays into every negative comic-book stereotype and it certainly doesn't impress NEW readers. And GUYS who don't understand why this is so damaging is exactly the problem.

Now, I enjoy both Bendis and Meltzer (I thought his GA arc was terrific). But these two HIGHLY PUBLICIZED events did nothing to advance comics into the 21st Century or generate new readers. Unless the 21st century comics are all about destruction and deconstruction, in which case, we should start planning the funeral.

David Welsh said...

"I think that perhaps that IC and Disassembled were a bit lazy in their respective antagonists' motivations, and there was definitely some lazy writing involved, but I just look at them as stories that were created to set things up down the road."

I've got to say that I think that's one of the worst excuses in the world for writing a terrible comic. If a writer can't come up with an entertaining way to erect the bones for his or her next big event -- even in the middle of the current big event -- then they should reconsider the wisdom of the next big event.

"House of M" won't retroactively make "Avengers Disassembled" any better. "Countdown" won't make "Identity Crisis" or "Graduation Day" make sense. I think comics need to stand on their own on a month-to-month basis.

Of course, I could just be an inflexible crank.

Gone said...

And that's why a lot of us cut way back on reading SuperDude comics a long time ago...

1031 said...

No, you're right. The stories should have been written better, without a doubt. I wasn't trying to make an excuse for the writers, not that they'd need me to defend them anyway.

I just meant that yeah, these two events were subpar, but that doesn't necessarily mean the next ones will be. BENDIS! certainly has a better track record than Disassembled would have you believe.

I dunno. I'm a writer myself, so I guess I just feel a twinge of sympathy when I read something that doesn't quite click. I know what it's like sitting in front of the screen, a blank page staring back at you.

And, really, I think BENDIS! has sort of earned the right to a clunker once in a while. He's written so much great stuff, and done so much, not just for Marvel, but for indie books and creators, that I have to cut him some slack on this one.

And Meltzer, his GA was great, and I love his novels. This was only the second comic series he's written, and for that, too, I feel like I have to give him some leeway.

At the end of the day, the books were entertaining more often than not, and while their respective endings were a bit silly, hey, it's comics. There's always gonna be something better the following week.

Angelophile said...

I'm trying to think of the last great, or even "above average" story Bendis wrote.

Not thinking of anything from the last year...

Dan Coyle said...

There's a really hilarious gag about Hawkeye's death in Cable And Deadpool this week where Deadpool admits he carries explosive charges in his backpack, in case he ever has to blow up a Kree warship, and his backpack has a catch release so he doesn't get immolated himself.

Erik said...

Someone mentioned Dr. Strange, who is at the heart of what I hated about Avengers: Disassembled.

I've never read an Avengers book before the Disassembled series, and I only read that because I work at a comic book store. So here's what I knew going in:

It was about the Avengers, and by the end, they would be - yup - disassembled.

So I read the books, and I was engaged. Not deeply engaged, but I wanted to find out what was going on. I wanted to see the Avengers figure out why this was happening and stop it.

Instead, I got Dr. Strange prodding them into figuring out what happened, and then Dr. Strange stopping it.

I actually double-checked the cover of the book to see if it said Dr. Strange. I double-checked the list of the Avengers at the front of the book to see of Dr. Strange was one of them. I went back through every page of Disassembled to see if Dr. Strange made any appearance before that.

I like Greek theatre. I don't mind when Zeus gets craned in over the stage. I accept it as part of the style.

I don't like it in my comic books. And I certainly don't like it three times.

God One: The "Something is wrong." Dr. Strange.

God Two: The "I'll Stop Her With The Eye Of Plot Contrivance!" Dr. Strange.

God Three: Magneto, aka Mr. "She's my daughter and I'll take her off your hands so you don't have to worry about her when New Avengers starts up".

The book is called "The Avengers". I want to see the Avengers find the problem and create the solution.

I didn't care about Wanda wanting babies, or Wanda being crazy. Yeah, it's a bunch of stupid, borderline-misogynistic poop, but Bendis lost me when Dr. Strange showed up and fixed everything with exposition and a fancy magic trick.

I wanted the Avengers, and I didn't get it. I didn't stick around to see the actual Disassembling.

Anonymous said...

Even though they're not working for Marvel, you left out Sam Kieth (Zero Girl, The Maxx) and Terry "Strangers in Paradise" Moore, who is practically frickin' synonymous with strong, female characters.

I stopped reading superhero comics after "The Infinity Crusade", if that gives you a good idea of time. Y'know, when you think about it, "Thanos Quest" and "The Infinity Gauntlet" were all about Thanos of Titan trying---and miserably failing---to impress the girl (Death), who was, really, a little too grown up for his shit. Indeed, how Marvel has fallen.

I'm catching up on Sandman Mystery Theater, and it looks like Matt Wagner wrote a strong female character in Dian. So... yeah, it's just Marvel that sucks at it. I wonder why.

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