On the heels of electoral victories barring same-sex marriage, some influential conservative Christian groups are turning their attention to a new target: the cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants.
"Does anybody here know SpongeBob?" Dr. James C. Dobson, the founder of Focus on the Family, asked the guests Tuesday night at a black-tie dinner for members of Congress and political allies to celebrate the election results [...]
Now, Dr. Dobson said, SpongeBob's creators had enlisted him in a "pro-homosexual video," in which he appeared alongside children's television colleagues like Barney and Jimmy Neutron, among many others. The makers of the video, he said, planned to mail it to thousands of elementary schools to promote a "tolerance pledge" that includes tolerance for differences of "sexual identity." [...]
"We see the video as an insidious means by which the organization is manipulating and potentially brainwashing kids," he said. "It is a classic bait and switch."
You know what I say? Thank God. I've been secretly turned on by SpongeBob cartoons for months, going to the SpongeBob slashfic rooms ("What are you staring at, Mulder? I'm just taking a shower ... with this sexy, sexy sponge..."), doing the photomanips of SpongeBob and me at the prom -- I thought it meant I had a serious, serious perversion problem. Now it turns out I'm just gay. Whew.