Monday, January 24, 2005

Fantabulous Four

Lordy, do I not wish to comment on another human's super-hero movie. One might argue I have forfeited my right to do so for at least a generation. I have friends who are working on this flick. I actually dig Chris Evans and Ioan is a friend of Michelle Forbes, automatically making him a decent human being, and a damn fine actor. I will assume the film is indeed spiffy, and instead take issue with the trailer alone. Specifically, the construction of same.

The first shot -- the FIRST SHOT -- of a superpower is Reed Richards catching a falling wine bottle before it hits the floor. Catching a wine bottle. That's it.

He's MISTER GODDAM FANTASTIC. So he has the superpowers of an OLIVE GARDEN WAITER? I don't want the biggest brain in the Marvel universe to be able to be defeated by wobbly-table technology. Then, THEN, just as this thing begins to redeem itself, with Sue doing some force-smacking of Doom and Johnny flaming on (and I abso-frikkin-love that shot of Johhny tearing off his outfit to reveal the FF costume) and Ben having trucks smash into him in a way that makes one wonder what they would have done if Guillermo hadn't invented that shot first, along with these we get a second look at Reed's powers, as he ...

... unlocks a door from the other side.

THE THING -- super-strength and invulnerability!!!
SUE STORM -- invisibility and force fields!!!
JOHNNY STORM -- mastery of living flame and flight!!!
REED RICHARDS -- handy around the house!!!

New trailer, people. Now.


Timmy Mac said...

I was never a big fan of "could get really stretchy" as a superpower. I mean, he never did anything that good...he was always a trampoline or a parachute or something. I don't know what the trailer could've shown. He's brilliant, but checking test tubes doesn't make for compelling action cinema, either.

Also, I would've preferred a rockier Thing. The cosmic rays looked pretty sweet, though.

1031 said...

Yeah, he's got that brilliance thing going on for him, and wasn't there something about how, like, his brain was able to stretch or whatever, so he could get even smarter?

Never been a huge FF fan, myself. The trailer has its ups and downs, and we've got until, what, July, right? So they can beef up the FX shots and all that. But this movie is supposed to open against Spielburg and Cruise's War of the Worlds.

I know which one I'll be seeing that weekend.

Actually...I'm going to be in a wedding that weekend, now that I think about it. Are sci-fi/comic book flicks a good idea for a bachelor party?

Didn't think so...

Benari said...

Would it have been too much for them to slap a giant, protruding rocky brow on the Thing? I swear, it would make all the difference.

However, I saw no trace of H.E.R.B.I.E. in that trailer, nor did I hear any mention of a "Thing ring." So I remain hopeful and cautiously optimistic.

ItsWalky said...

Hey, now! HERBIE's awesome!

Penny-Arcade deals with the trailer using a bit less tact. I dunno. I luffers me some Fantastic Four, but it's kinda hard to make out what the movie's about in the trailer -- which is a problem, I think. Reminds me too much of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen trailer. A bunch of cool scenes in random order with no coherence or sense of storytelling.

I'll totally go see it, anyway. Anything with Doctor Doom...

(But I want my HERBIE.)

Shakespeare's Sister said...

He's MISTER GODDAM FANTASTIC. So he has the superpowers of an OLIVE GARDEN WAITER?LOL. Awesome.

Anonymous said...

So in what way-- since this has never really been clear to me-- is "Mr. Fantastic" anything other than Plastic Man with a superiority complex?

Anonymous said...

The FF is the most under appreciated super family in comics. All of you naysayers should revisit John Byrne’s mid to late 80’s run on the book.

Here are some thoughts on the trailer -- The thing looks kinda lame, but the truck-as-origami bit redeemed him somewhat. The ending car-as-dodge ball bit also worked toward redeeming his bad Halloween custom look.

And yes, tragically, the only super hero to frighten a giant who snacks on worlds by telling him, “I’ve been thinking,” has been reduced to the savior of spirits and a common home invader.

I have to admit, he translated poorly to the big screen. The hair and skin detail on his hyper-extended appendage is creepy. The clean black lines and solid filled color of a comic book is where Mr. Fantastic truly belongs.

Doom is just lame.

The cosmic bath was right on.

I guess Alba is there to make invisibility sexy again.

The human torch approached coolness but, only momentarily. Was that a heat seeking-missile chasing him through time square? Cool...

The trailer was missing a glimpse of them working together fantastically. After all, they are a family and families should work together.


In defense of Mr. Fantastic -- he should not be compared with Plastic man, Elongated man or any other pretender who came along to try and claim his malleable throne. I admit his power is somewhat silly in practice but what it represents is super cool. He is expansion, flexibility and adaptation all rolled into one ultra-smart guy. When a seemingly hopeless situation arises, he is the unexpected answer. Need to repel an alien invasion, find the ultimate nullifier or slow down the overrated-hairy-short guy from the X-men? Call Reed (on his own private frequency no less). And don’t forget, he’s the only one who can hug the entire team, including himself, all at the same time…this must be good for morale if nothing else.


1031 said...

You mentioned John Byrne. ::shudder::

Anonymous said...

Forgive the anon posting, as I'm in a bit of a rush, but I thought this bit of recent rumour-mongering seemed relevant (if not accurate).


Sizemore said...

Does this mean that the Transformers trailer won't open with Optimus Prime dropping off a load of microwave ovens at Wal-Mart? Damn. I always thought that his long haul abilities were overshadowed by all that robot crap.

By not casting an older actor as Reed Richards someone missed out on some sweet Viagra product placement...

Jerry said...

You have to remember, one of Peter Parker's first superheroic acts in the first Spider-Man flick was catching a dropped school lunch. And that worked fine from a storytelling standpoint.

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