Tuesday, June 12, 2007

I Wish Friends Had Ended with a Car Crash

Ken Levine reminded me in an e-mail, as I muttered darkly, how The Sopranos ending could have gone. Reposted in its entirety from his blog:

The finale would be at least two hours.

There would be a one hour clip show hosted by Bob Costas preceding it.

There would be live coverage of the cast party on the network’s local 11:00 news. It would be the lead story even if Hurricane Katrina hit that day.

There would be a little animated promo swooshing across the bottom of the screen after every commercial break of every other prime time show on that network for two weeks. A little gun would shoot a little mobster. The blood would spell out SOPRANOS.

Also, on the bottom of the screen there would be a little countdown clock for a month leading up to the finale.

The cast would be on that network’s late night talk show. If the network didn’t have a late night talk show they would create one just for this purpose.

An online contest would offer prizes if you guessed who would be whacked and when. That way you could watch the final episode and play along at home.

They would spin off Janice. Coming in September: WIDOW WITH CHILDREN.

They would insist that Tony’s mother return despite the fact that the actress who played her has died.

They would NEVER EVER EVER allow an ambiguous ending.

They would want the following changes in the last scene. Meadow should drive a Ford because that’s who is sponsoring. She should have no trouble parallel parking because Fords are easy to parallel park. The restaurant must be TGI Fridays – also a sponsor and much more colorful. The threat should come from a singing waiter wearing a straw hat, suspenders, and hundreds of fun buttons. A secondary threat should be an Arab terrorist with a scar. The Arab should pull his gun. The waiter should point his banjo (which is also a semi-automatic rifle). It looks like Tony, Carmela, and A.J. are done for it. Final commercial break. We come back just as Meadow bursts in the door with an Uzi and blows the bad guys away. Meadow, it seems, has just come from dance class and is wearing nothing but a hot leotards. Tony says, “That’s what I get for going to Fridays on Tuesday.” The family shares a laugh. Meadow sits down. Everyone hugs and declares their love for each other. Carmelo calls out, “Can we get ANOTHER waiter?” They laugh. One more hug. Long fade out, as music swells – Dino’s “Ain’t That a Kick in the Head”. Fade out. Your local news is next.

So if you’re still pissed at David Chase for the way he really ended the series just think of the alternative.


I am, however, in the minority for finding John from Cincinnati interesting. Is Milch about to do Carnivale? Damn.

59 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice point, thank God Sopranos didn't air on TBS or one of the 4 major networks.

Anonymous said...

Ambiguity I can live with - boring as shit is where I draw the line, however.

Had the episode (or season, for that matter) not felt rushed and perfunctory up to that point I would have been just fine with the ambiguous ending. Actually, I am fine with it - I just hated everything that led up to it.

Matthew E said...

I think Friends should have ended with all six of them in bed with each other. That's clearly the natural trajectory of the show.

Unknown said...

John From Cincinnati hookd me with that first ep. I am there for the long run, but really, I can't see it lasting long.

People expect Westerns to have different dialogue. This is a more contemporary setting and the dialogue is clearly inspired by the theater (I enjoy it but then again I enjoy Mamet and Michael Mann's Mamet like dialogue). Also, the metaphysical/spiritual aspects will make some people uneasy. Finally, surfing is still not something most people relate to.

But I am there. As for the Sopranos finale, oh well. It is a fight that can't be won.

Lee said...

Surfing is not something I can relate to, living about as far from the coast as it's possible to get in the UK. However, this is clearly the minority to be in these days. I loved the pilot, and want more, more, more.

david golbitz said...

I really loved the Sopranos final episode. Had no problems with it whatsoever.

And I'm intrigued by John From Cincinnati. I liked the first episode, though I'm not entirely sure why, other than the fact that every other word uttered was some variance of the word "fuck."

I'll stick with it through the season.

Mark Parsons said...

I loved the final Ep.

And those JFC promos did little to interest me, but once I heard Strummer's "Johnny Appleseed" over the credits, I decided not to hit "off" on the remote and I'm glad I did. Very intrigued by the show. Loved the cast, the writing, the setting. Mysterious John is actually the least interesting emelemt for me. I'm very curious about him, but the rest of the cast & story was so strong, he gets bumped down the "list of cool things to look FWD to nextr week."

Danny said...

I'm sticking with John from Cincinnati as well. Because I found it interesting. Because surfing is cool. Because I thought John (the character) was funny. Because David fuckin' Milch.

As for the Sopranos ending and the potential for how it could have been...is it a bad sign the so many people are up in arms over the ending vs. the way Network TV would have ended it? Are the stupid network shows really what we want? Are the networks going to take this backlash to mean they are doing things right?

Good Dog said...

I thought John from Cincinnati was superb. Bonkers in places, but superb.

Anonymous said...

Haven't seen the final episode, but as good an explication as you'll likely get comes from the rude pundit:

http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/

kkisser said...

You are in the minority about John From Cincinnati. An ambiguously Jesused up mystery about a 13 year old surfing savior? I'll Pass, thanks.

Damn all those Children of the Endless Summer.

Anonymous said...

The Finale was disappointing to watch. Period. Chase can wrap up Leotardo with a bloody bow on his head, and AJ can be pulled out of his pit of depression with an M3 and a fistful of fairy dust?

Okay, sure. Yeah. Right.

I had to be reminded of the scene with Bobby and T in the boat and the talk about how everything just goes black in the end. With that in mind, the conclusion is kinda cool. But watching, in real time, it pissed me off.

Anonymous said...

And do we really need to be reminded that it would've been worse on network?

Doc Nebula said...

I don't know. Yeah, yeah, most of the hypothetical mainstream SOPRANOS finale seemed like it would be enjoyment challenged for me, but an Uzi brandishing Meadow in nothing but a hot leotard top shooting Victrola sized chunks out of a TGIF waiter? I'd record that puppy and watch it over and over and over again. In fact, I might well have it on constant loop in the backdrop of every room I was ever in for the rest of my life. I would worship that tiny snippet of video as if it were a some strange blue skinned,multi-tentacled, flute playing cross of Hindu and Lovecraftian nether deities. I would regard it... as GOD.

Now, when I say "I would regard it... as GOD", do you suppose I mean I'm looking at hot Meadow in see throughs killing someone annoying as if that were God, or, rather, as if I am God, regarding that, my creation (if, naturally, only such by proxy, but, still, ultimately, it would all come back to me)?

It's an honest question. Don't glare at me like that.

Sean said...

I watched John from Cincinnati and the weirdness reminded a bit of Twin Peaks. I want to see what happens next.

Later,

Sean

theblankscreen said...

Loved Milchs new show...

Anonymous said...

I don`t know why a tv show about a murders is so popular. That
seems pretty disturbing to me.

Anonymous said...

Hadn't seen JFC yet. I'm sure it will be interesting.

Hope somebody makes another important tv series again someday. It's looking like this run is over.

Anonymous said...

I am a fan of Bob Costas and always attend his shows. I think he is very interesting and talented person.

Anonymous said...

I'm waiting for new casts and I like very much when it has unpredictable ending.

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my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
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insane cock brothas -
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latin adultery -
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more gonzo -
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my friends hot mom -
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my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
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naughty bookworms -
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neighbor affair -
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first time swallows -
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gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
hot campus teens -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
orgy sex parties -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
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seduced by a cougar -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
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tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
texas twins -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
virgin teen lesbians -
wild fuck toys -
just facials -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian 1on1 -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
hot campus teens -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
orgy sex parties -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
seduced by a cougar -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
texas twins -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
virgin teen lesbians -
wild fuck toys -
milf seeker -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian 1on1 -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
hot campus teens -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
orgy sex parties -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
seduced by a cougar -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
texas twins -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
virgin teen lesbians -
wild fuck toys -
porn stud search -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian 1on1 -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -

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first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
hot campus teens -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
orgy sex parties -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
seduced by a cougar -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
texas twins -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
virgin teen lesbians -
wild fuck toys -
she got pimped -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian 1on1 -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
hot campus teens -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
orgy sex parties -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
seduced by a cougar -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
texas twins -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
virgin teen lesbians -
wild fuck toys -
squirt hunter -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian 1on1 -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
hot campus teens -
housewife 1on1 -
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latin adultery -
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milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
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my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
orgy sex parties -
porn stud search -
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seduced by a cougar -
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simpson twins -
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milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
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my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
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naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
orgy sex parties -
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she got pimped -
simpson twins -
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her first anal sex -
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his first huge cock -
hot campus teens -
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huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
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milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
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naughty office -
neighbor affair -
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porn stud search -
prime cups -
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seduced by a cougar -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
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Elizabeth said...

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Unknown said...

Wasir atau ambeien adalah penyakit yang terjadi pada bagian anus, jenis wasir atau ambeien sendiri ada dua yaitu wasir atau ambeien dalam dan wasir atau ambeien luar. Dalam penangananya sendiri wasir atau ambeien dapat disembuhkan dengan dua jalan yaitu pengobatan medis dan pengobatan non medis atau pengobatan alternatif. Pengobatan alternatif disini salah satu pilihanya adalah dengan menggunakan tanaman herbal atau dengan ramuan tradisional. Ambeclear dan Salep Salwa adalah hasil pengolahan tanaman herbal daun ungu, kunyit putih, dan mahkota dewa yang telah terbukti ampuh mengatasi wasir atau ambeien baik wasir stadium satu, stadium dua, stadium tiga maupun stadium akhir atau stadium empat. Wasir berdarah, wasir yang telah kronis, semua dapat diatasi dengan menggunakan obat ini selain ampuh obat ini juga aman dan tidak menimbulkan efek samping apapun bagi penggunanya sehingga obat ambeclear ini aman dikonsumsi oleh penderita wasir yang sedang hamil maupun menyusui.

Anonymous said...

Penyakit ini umumnya muncul karena penderita mengejan terlalu keras pada saat buang air besar. Dengan mengejan terlalu keras, maka pembuluh darah di sekitar anus dapat melebar dan pecah menimbulkan infeksi dan pembengkakan yang berakhir pada masalah wasir atau ambeien tersebut.

Unknown said...

Penderita Penyakit kondiloma atau Kutil Kelamin yang telah terinveksi disarankan untuk segera melakukan pengobatan secepat mungkin sebelum Virus HPV penyebab kutil kelamin makin banyak berkembang biak di dalam sel darah makin lama dibiarkan akan memperparah kondisi organ vital karena kutil kelamin akan terus membesar sehingga terlihat seperti jengger ayam untuk penderita yang baru tertular kurang dari satu bulan biasanya akan lebih cepat ditanggulangi obat kutil kelamin Paling ampuh dari De Nature dan terbaik ada hanya di http://obatkutildikemaluan.blogdetik.com/ untuk mendapatkan informasi yang lebih jelas mengenai pengobatan kutil pada kelamin silahkan kontak langsung di nomer 0852 808 77 999 atau 0859 7373 5656 Bagaimana mengobati Ambeien itu sendiri. pengobatan yang terbaik untuk Ambeien adalah dari luar dan dalam sehingga Ambeien benar benar tuntas dan tidak akan kambuh lagi. obat Ambeien terbaik "Ambeclear dari De Nature" AlamiAdalah obat Ambeien herbal yang memang terbaik untuk mengobati Ambeien, dan sudah terdaftar di badan obat dan makanan (BPOM) dengan nomer registrasi POM TR: 133 374 041. terbuat dari bahan alami antara lain terdiri Daung Ungu, Mahkota Dewa dan Kunyit Putih.

Unknown said...

Obat wasir ambeien tanpa operasi Ambeclear dan Salep Salwa De Nature Indonesia, terbuat dari

bahan alami yang

aman dan

ampuh

Anonymous said...

cara yang alami menyembuhkan penyakit wasir ambeien secara alami dengan menggunakan daun ungu serta mahkotadewa aman untuk ibu hamil tanpa operasi cukup dengan menggunakan obat wasir herbal ambeclear terbuat

Unknown said...

Penyakit kencing nanah bisa disebabkan oleh beberapa faktor seperti seks bebas, penularan, virus hpv, lingkungan, gaya hidup dan lainnya, Maka dari itu kita harus waspada dengan penyakit kencing nanah ini, karena penyakit kencing nanah sangatlah berbahaya, Namun untuk anda yang menderita penyakit kencing nanah, maka anda tidak perlu khawatir,

Unknown said...

Berapa Harga untuk Obat Wasir Ambeien alami daun ungu AmbeclearAmbeien adalah gangguan atau penyakit yang terjadi pada saluran pencernaan manusia

Unknown said...

Bukan hanya pengobatan medis saja tapi ada juga pengobatan rumah alami yang dapat digunakan untuk menyingkirkan penyakit kutil kelamin ini. Intinya, karena kutil ini muncul di daerah yang sensitif, maka anda harus mencari pengobatan yang terbaik pada kulit Anda dan jika diperlukan juga dibantu dengan tenaga medis yang professional. Sebab dokter akan menjadi sumber informasi yang baik untuk mengobati penyakit ini.

Pengobatan Ambeien Wasir said...

facebook

Cara Mengobati Wasir Ambeien said...

pengobatan herbal

Cara Mengobati Wasir Ambeien said...

MANTAB * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Pengobatan Ambeien Wasir said...

MANTAB * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ***

obar herbal manjur alami said...

MANTAB * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *******

Unknown said...

Cara yang sering di lakukan untuk menghilangkan kutil kelamin adalah dengan cara pembedahah atau operasi, cara ini tentu memerlukan dana yang tidak sedikit. metode Pilihan pembedahan yang dapat Anda lakukan

Unknown said...

Kenali penyebab penyakit kencing bernanah sehingga cara mengobati
penyakit kencing nanah dan infeksi saluran kencing nanah dapat dilakukan
dengan benar.

kLINIK oBAT mANJUR said...

Bismillaahirrohmaanirrokhiim ???????????????????????????????????

Unknown said...

Kadang disertai
dengan sakit saat kencing, perih, organ intim terasa panas menyiksa,
gatal,..

kLINIK oBAT mANJUR said...

Bismillahhirrohmaanirrokhim.... *********************************

Unknown said...

Sekitar Vagina Tumbuh Daging, Berbahayakah? Kutil Pada Kepala Penis mirip bunga kol atau jengger ayam, Merupakan Penyakit Yang diakibatkan Oleh Virus.Kutil kelamin, atau disebut juga condyloma acuminata, adalah kutil atau daging berwarna kulit atau keabuan yang tumbuh di sekitar alat kelamin dan

Unknown said...

Obat Ambeien Resep Dokter Ambeclear dari De Nature Ampuh Tuntaskan Ambeien Sampai Tuntas

Unknown said...

Ambeien bisa mengeluarkan darah(seperti invander salim yang terkena ambeien dan mengeluarkan darah)

Unknown said...

Sebelum kita membahas tentang pengobatan ambeien, dalam kesempatan ini
saya ingin menjelaskan sekilas tentang ambeien, agar kita semua bisa
memahami benar apa itu penyakit ambeien

Unknown said...

obat wasir, Adalah  Obat alami berkhasiat dalam bentuk kapsul yang berasal dari tanaman herbal seperti daun ungu, mahkota dewa dan kunyit putih, diberikan pada penderita jika penyakit masih dalam tingkatan stadium ringan

kLINIK oBAT mANJUR said...

Bismillahhirrohmaanirrokhim.... ***************************

kLINIK oBAT mANJUR said...

Bismillahirrohmannirrokhim ......................................

obar herbal manjur alami said...

Bismillahhirrohmaanirrokhim.... ************************************

kLINIK oBAT mANJUR said...

Bismillahirrohmannirrokhim ...............................

obar herbal manjur alami said...

???????????????????????????????????????

Unknown said...

???????????????????????????????

kLINIK oBAT mANJUR said...

111111111111111111111

Obat Keputihan Herbal Alami said...

1111111111111111111111111111111111111111

Unknown said...

manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur

obar herbal manjur alami said...

alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami alami

obar herbal manjur alami said...

Cegah Wasir ambeien anda bertambah parah dan segera untuk melakukan pengobatan yang cepat dan tepat dengan obat terbaik apabila sobat sedang mencari obat Ambeien yang ampuh dan cepat sobat sedang berada di web yang tepat karena kami ini menjual obat Ambeien yang aman cepat dan ampuh segera kontak kami di 0823 2528 0340

Anonymous said...

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