Tuesday, January 02, 2007

5 Things You Don't Know About Me

I ordinarily don't much care for blog-memes, as I've said before, primarily because they're not memes. And that drives me a bit insane. Also, blogs are obscenely self-revelatory by nature, so it seems like guilding the matzah.

As I'm cleaning up the post-holiday rush, however, I'll take five to give one a shot. Been tagged by investigative reporter Dave LaFontaine to post 5 things you reader folk don't know about me. To make it even mildly interesting, I'll use Ezra and Neil's variation: 5 statements, one of which is not true. A fib. A prevarication, suh.

1.) Not only have I been to Las Vegas with Hilary Swank, but we went to a Star Trek convention together.
2.) While doing comedy, I also played harmonica in a blues band in Montreal for five years.
3. ) I once wore a slinky green dress and sang Lisa Loeb's "Stay." And not on stage.
4.) My first produced script was a murder mystery set on a cruise ship, ending with a swordfight.
5.) During one of my TV specials, the camera cut to an audience shot and randomly, out of 2000 audience members, landed on my Dad and Lovely Wife.

Guess away, and no cheating from the RL friends. I ain't tagging anybody -- if it's a meme it will replicate.

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have a 20% chance, so #3 is false.

John said...

Numbah 2 is my guess, as the others are far too ridiculous to be made up.

JLK

Anonymous said...

I'm guessing 2 also. John's reason is a good one, but also there has to be an upper limit on the number of things you're good at.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I'm guessing playing harmonica that long, too. Just a hunch, no reason.

Anonymous said...

matthew, he said he played harmonica, he didn't say he (or the band), were any good. :)

wizard, if i was going to say #4 i'd say it's because it was probably his first script, just never produced.

i believe #3 without reservation.

but if #1 is true, john's officially my hero.

Anonymous said...

Number 1, if true, is by far the coolest. While not a trekkie myself, I would SO pretend to be one if I thought I had a shot with Hilary Swank.
Number 2 seems plausible. If Bo Jackson could play both baseball and football that well -- John knows blues.
Number 3 is just so disturbing on so many levels. Therefore, true.
Number 4 seems plausible. I think I actually saw this. Or maybe it was just a dream I had.
Therfore, I'll go with number 5. It's just too random, it's not really about you per se, and it's not all that interesting.

Mark said...

if it's a meme it will replicate.

First off, meme's replicate because there is something about them that encourages replication... like requiring you tag someone.

I'm going to guess that you are smart enough to assume no one will guess the most improbable and coolest "fact" and also assume you believe no one will guess #1. Thus, I guess #1. Hopefully, I'm wrong.

Unknown said...

Bah. Memes should self-replicate, the alternative is reproduction.

Reveals tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

First off, I'm guessing that whichever one is false is only slightly false. So, if it's number 1, the truth is that you went to a Star Trek convention with Hilary Swank in San Diego. Or something like that.

My money is on 2. I'm guessing that you played harmonica in a blues band in Montreal for only four years.

Interested Soldier said...

See, I'm thinking #1 is false (if only accidently) because Vegas has the "Star Trek Experience" which is not technically a convention.

Otherwise, I go with #2.

Anonymous said...

My guess is 3.
The "tone" is just different....the rest sound like statements. Number 3 sounds like something made up to amuse :)

Anonymous said...

I think it's #4 personally?

I can see John doing the others in some sort of fashion hehe.

Anonymous said...

Thank you thank you THANK you. You are the only person Ive ever seen mention what really bugs me about blog-memes. I though I was all alone!
Once again, you're the MAN.
I call #2 as the lie.

Anonymous said...

I say #2. Something about the logistics of being in a band for 5 years while also doing comedy seems sketchy to me. Other than that...great list! :)

The Minstrel Boy said...

i got caught up in a flurry of these a couple weeks ago. most of the people who participated (including myself) chose to put the lie in position #3.

i can buy the slinky green dress, but lisa loeb? dude. a slinky green dress calls for singing something from peggy lee. or rosemary clooney.

because of the power of 3 and the lisa loeb i call bullshit on 3.

Anonymous said...

Green isn't John's color, and I have to agree with Minstrel Boy on the Peggy Lee or Rosemary Clooney song. So, to me, it's gotta be #3. And for the first produced script, was that the one with the exploding seagulls?

Anonymous said...

I go with #2 as well. Having the same name gives me a distinct advantage. As Kim implies (I think), I don't think anyone could play the harmonica in a blues band that long and still be good for anything else. If you were still playing harmonica in a blues band, I might buy it.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for responding in such a cool way - and the stories that you've generated from this meme were definitely illuminating ... I don't feel like such a tool now (I never know if passing along these memes is a sign of being a part of the "We're all in this together weblogger bonhomie" or the cyber-equivalent of being one of those annoying clingy gullible office drones who insists that you read all the way to THE END, DAMMIT, of their 500-times forwarded post about how 9/11 was all a plot, and the Towers were rigged with plastique).

I woulda guessed #3, but only because of the Loeb.

Some secrets ... they are not meant to be shared...

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