Tuesday, October 07, 2008

And A Magnum of Champagne for My New Friend Trixie

I'd been head down in the season finale script for the last few days, so I'd missed this. From Ezra Klein, noting National Review editor -- that's the editor -- Rich Lowry:

I'm sure I'm not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, "Hey, I think she just winked at me." And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America. This is a quality that can't be learned; it's either something you have or you don't, and man, she's got it.

Modern American Conservatives have sunk to the intellectual and emotional level of the guy who thinks the stripper really likes him.

Palin terrifies me. She is Warren Ellis' Smiler, in a way Bush never was. I cannot sense any core beliefs except ... well except nothing. All I can see is the winking, giggling folksy void. They tell her to spew some bullshit, and she salutes smartly and sells the hell out of it. Asked to go forth and spread old canards about Senator Obama being a "friend of terrorists", something she never seemed to show any interest in before, she does so not just efficiently but with a perky glee. The proper human response, when asked to say things like this about a political opponent and Senator of the United States is so fundamentally "fuck no" that it is the unheard test question immediately following "You're in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you're not helping -- why is that?"

There's no shame, no consideration, no apparent native curiousity ... but even more creepily no resentment at being treated like a prop, no chafing at her handlers assuming she'll say absolutely anything they put in front of her. How can a human exist so fueled by hubris but without an ego? My lizard brain is screaming.

I understand how people can differ on tax policy, the proper balance between military action and diplomacy in world affairs, national health care, regulation ... but we must draw the line somewhere. Without some basic, fundamental standard of reality, even arbitraily selected, a man cannot walk the earth.

Now those people who are voting against Obama, or even for McCain and pretend to themselves that Palin isn't relevant, I kind of get that, and can respect it. But entertaining the idea that Governor Palin is either remotely qualifed or intellectually suited to be President requires an indulgence that in this complicated and dangerous world, we cannot as a society allow. It has crossed to an active harm, like peeing in the village water supply.







(Note for the metaphor impaired: I am not being sexist and saying Plain is a stripper. I'm saying Lowry is the kind of idiot who believes the stripper really likes him. If you feel that reflects poorly on strippers, go ask one,)

65 comments:

Tom said...

Okay, I'll give you the stripper. But the flirty waitress at the IHOP is into me, right?

Joshua James said...

She's Bible Spice.

Jordan said...

And here I thought the beauty queen persona Palin adopted was silly, but way to raise the bar. It's hard to look at Palin and think, "she's a serious person." Obviously Lowry himself doesn't think that if he can write a graph like that with genuine honesty.

Anonymous said...

If Palin is Smiler, who is Spider??

I'm waiting for the Rolling Stone Magazine article telling us that Palin is a clone or that her daughter will be giving birth to an alien lovechild.

Anonymous said...

Should Palin become president through the result of premature actuarial incapacitation on the part of McCain, she'll make other figurehead presidents like Reagan and Bush II look like statesmen. She's political Silly Putty; perfectly malleable and capable of picking up impressions (but backwards!)

John said...

Unfortunately we don't have a Spider Jerusalem. God, I seriously wish we did.

And remember - even with Spider on his ass, the Smiler WON...

Anonymous said...

I think she's more Josh Freeh than the Smiler. The Smiler was vicious. She only pretends to be vicious. The Smiler was smart and well-informed. Palin is anything but. Much like the Opposition Party cut a deal with Heller for his bloc's support, the GOP gave Palin to McCain to ensure the support of the increasingly irrelevant people of Jesusland. She's new in the political arena compared to dinosaurs like Biden and McCain, and even makes Obama look experienced. Just like Freeh, she's just a pretty thing to look at.

Michael the G said...

Then why does she keep calling me and asking me to hang out, huh? I mean, sure it's always at the club but that girl is BUSY. What with paying her way through school and everything.

Oddly enough, some other folks apparently felt the same way and made this nifty clip http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/2914/palinju9.gif

Your Monkeys Kung Fu just kicked my ass. Thanks

Cunningham said...

In your metaphor you meant "Palin" but wrote "Plain"...

Don't change it.

Gov. Plain is "flirty fishing" those conservatives who are on the fence. We can all see it... and the fact that the press tolerates it in any way is nauseating.

WTFUP!
(Wake The Fuck Up, People!)

Anonymous said...

McCain is the one that's wanted nothing but to be President and willing to do anything to get it for at least four years. And he's very good at playing the same sort of role.

Palin isn't close. She's Bob Heller through and through. From the Wikipedia entry:

a virulently, openly conservative (bordering on fascist) and racist candidate who has overwhelming support in the state of Florida. His name and manner, and various visual clues, indicate that he is meant to be portrayed as an exaggerated futuristic version of Adolf Hitler, and Spider once describes him as such: "Hitler stuffed to the skin with Viagra, Jumpstart (a fictional stimulant drug), gila monster genes, and syphilis." Heller commands the support of a large group of provincial, xenophobic, mostly working-class nationalists, and despises anyone that can be labelled as a pacifist, "weirdo," or member of a "lower race," all of whom Heller sums up as "The Weak." (Spider, in turn, dismissively generalizes Heller's average supporter as "the neo-Nazi subhuman vote" and "Joe Fuckface Sportsbar.") Still, his wholehearted devotion to his extreme cause even makes Spider nervous. After writing about one of Heller's violence-themed and profanity-laden campaign speeches, Spider felt compelled to append the comment, "I swear I didn't make a word of that up." The Smiler cuts a corrupt deal with Heller in order to get the Florida vote, which Spider gleefully exposes; this exposure presumably destroys much of Heller's influence, as he is never a factor in any of the subsequent plot arcs.

Monsterbeard said...

Would that woman even pass a Voight-Kampf test? I don't think she would.

How are you cruelly asking stump questions of a person when they can't tell you any kind of printed media they read? That's not off-limits territory, it's a question acceptable even at social events upon meeting a person for the first time. And "All of them"??? She must have misunderstood the question as "How many of the letters in the alphabet can you sound out?"

Enough.

Jon Gallagher said...

Look at their intellectuals. To wit, one Dennis Prager, who get paid not only to bloviate on the radio, but to give lectures to conservative audiences (see http://stores.dennisprager.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen
=CTGY&Category_Code=01).

In this passage, Dennis gives us an example of a question he would really like to ask of Katie Couric, in the certain knowledge that she would be stumped:
(http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2008/10/gotcha_questions_for_katie_cou.html)

Q: Critics of the war in Iraq argue that prior to the invasion of Iraq, America had never attacked a country that had no plans to attack it. How then do you explain the Korean War?

On my radio show, I have asked this question of some of the most celebrated names among liberal intellectuals, and they had little or nothing to say. One major editor simply admitted that he had little familiarity with that war. That is too bad because America invaded a country that had absolutely no intention, let alone ability, to attack the United States. The United States attacked Korea -- and sacrificed over 30,000 American lives -- solely in order to prevent Korea from becoming a totalitarian Communist state. We succeeded in the southern half, and over 50 years later, North Korea remains essentially a gigantic concentration camp.


What ho Dennis! Yes we attacked, because North Korea invaded South Korea, where US troops were stationed, and nearly pushed us out of the damn country you drooling moron!

Christ, it's a good thing that should I suffer a massive stroke, or lobotomy, I still have a career option.

Cunningham said...

Does this mean, heaven forbid, that if McCain WERE to make it into the white house...

it would have a champagne room?

Anonymous said...

Good god, you've put your finger on it. My only issue is the assumption that Palin is passive in this, she's been playing/perfecting this game for years, I have little doubt she's not only fully aware of how she's being used, she's giving fucking pointers.

odocoileus said...

Ah, but she does have resentment. A great spewing Alaska sized geyser full.

Barracuda

nick said...

I don't know about you, but I am secure in my knowledge that Mercedes truly, and sincerely, looks forward to my $200 every Thursday.

Anonymous said...

Teresa Nielsen Hayden makes a good case for Palin having a serious personality disorder.

Anonymous said...

You're surprised? I read the TIME issue devoted to her and I got this disappointed sense that she's spent her career doing whatever it takes to just... do the job. To just get where she wants to go.

The folksy void sounds fairly accurate. Except there's a strange kind of precise cunning underneath it that's hidden with the wink and grin.

Maybe I'm giving her too much credit, but I think she's smarter than she wants you to think.

Anonymous said...

Your last sentence in the parentheses trails off. Ask one what?

Anonymous said...

To me Sarah Palin is Dan Quail in high heels, she has all of Ronald Reagan's charm, but not one ounce of his political savvy, she's George Walker Bush, a future terrorist parading around as a soccer mom.

Anonymous said...

So basically she's a Replicant with only a fraction of the charm and wit, though compensated by a shorter political lifespan.

Palin is the posterchild for everything that has infected the GOP in the last few generations- here's hoping she's also a coda. The least conservativism can do is return to rationalising selfishness instead of pretending it is some twisted manifestation of God's will.

Tim W. said...

That quote from the National Review sounds like the guy is being sarcastic. I find it scary that he is not.

That people are actually duped into believing she is worthy of becoming Vice President (and possibly President) proves that we are witnessing the end of the American Empire.

Ed Helm said...

Whoa, "season finale"? Already? And no return to Hardware World to take on the oppressors of Ed Helm? No full-circle-bring-it-around-home?

So disappointed. Not surprised, but disappointed.

Looking forward to the premiere.

Anonymous said...

"You're in the desert, you see a tortoise lying on its back, struggling, and you're not helping -- why is that?"

(writes carefully) "Because -- I -- am -- also -- a -- tortoise."

Hawise Gadarn said...

She's an oppurtunist who is trapped in her best years- the years where she was popular and a team leader in high school. She is dangerous and the Republican party is so determined to hold on to an unending mandate that they will do anything. If it wasn't so tragic it would be sad, as it is it is frightening as hell.

Anonymous said...

I am surprised that anyone expects that any of these people running for office are doing anything but calculated

image production right now. They aren't going to tell you what they think, just what they want you to hear. I

expect all smoke and mirrors until someone gets into office.

Our expectations of a president are far above anyone running, or currently in office. They pretend to be more

responsible and informed than they are. These new ones are visibly green and unprepared for the task. The

presidency always educates and matures the people who take the office.

Neither candidate knows much about economics or health care solutions, etc. and clearly rely on others to inform

their decisions. They are purposefully saying things that sound like they are promising something when they are

actually promising nothing. We give the top political leadership in this country more reverence than it

deserves. Is the president running the country or the country running the president? Would the country run

without a president? Does anyone at the top have a chance to fix things, or are there more powerful forces at

work in this country, just below the surface, that are defining our future?

I remember an interview with Bill Clinton, after his presidency, where he spoke openly with the reporter about

an issue, and demonstrated an exceptional understanding and honesty. This is not what we can expect from the

candidates. They are ignorant and covering their assets.

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Anonymous said...

There's no shame, no consideration, no apparent native curiousity ... but even more creepily no resentment at being treated like a prop, no chafing at her handlers assuming she'll say absolutely anything they put in front of her. How can a human exist so fueled by hubris but without an ego?

Ummm, don't you occasionally work with people who get paid a lot of money to pretend that they are things they are not?

Clint Johnson said...

Sure she is an evil, power seeking, soulless psychopath... but what makes you think that Obama is any different?

Well, other than having the massive ego that you find missing in Palin of course.

Nobody who deserves to be president ever gets elected to anything further up the totem pole than dog catcher.

tofubo said...

should the worst happen, all the best to Detective Malandra Newton, aka http://www.citizensforethics.org/

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