Friday, June 22, 2007

Irrational Fear? IRRATIONAL?

The roller coaster in Montreal was plainly cobbled together from demolished lake-house decks and railroad ties. So although I waited for a half-hour in line with my comedian friends, I felt perfectly justified in stepping into the car, considering my options, and then stepping right on out the other side.




Oh, how they mocked. But my momentary cowardice still allowed me to retain a shred of dignity, and so was worth indulging. Because if I'd gotten on that ride, my friends would have actually heard me scream. Like a little girl. Like a little girl who just woke up because somebody licked her foot. Like a little girl who just woke up because somebody licked her foot, and then when she turns on the light there's an evil clown sitting in the middle of her bedroom, eating her pony.

There's no comebacks from the clown-pony scream.

I knew from experience this would be my response to the tracked hellion. Fredericton, New Brunswick had taught me that.

That time it was a fair, or an exposition, or whatever the hell you call the gathering where the Lottery villagers eat fried beaver tails, drink beer and compare brood mares and quilts before they select the heavy stones and pass 'round the black-spot bag. We were in town visiting my new bride's family. As we walked through the small-scale carnival rides, I made a resolution. I would not give in to my completely irrational fear of funrides. These Fredericton rides were tiny things compared to the whirling articulated skyscrapers of a major park. Lovely Wife adores funrides. I will man up.

The first one was one of those parachute sumbitches. Perfectly reasonable, two people sitting in a car suspended by some sort of ball joint. When it rotates in one direction, you get a bit of a centrifugal tilt out. Then, of course, they tilt the goddam thing to 45 degreees, so you're pushed to the side, and you're way the hell up --

-- but I held it together. Even when I looked into the center of the machine's axis, from my vantage point at the top of the arc, and saw that they'd replaced on of the gears with a radial tire.

That said, Ride A involved height, movement, a sickening feeling of "just about to be thrown out" and a dodgy looking safety bar. I figured I was in the clear. Ride B -- the exact brand-name of which I have never discovered -- looked to be cake. Low to the ground. No height factor whatsoever. Bigger cars, two sitting across from two, each car suspended from above to a radial arm. I thumbnailed out the operations in my head. The ride itself spun, wheel-like, and then the cars probably spun horizontally on some smaller axis. I should be able to handle that.

So, as Madonna's "Like a Virgin" echoed murkily over loudspeakers never designed to convey music, Lovely Wife and I climbed aboard. Bar down, two twelve-year-olds sitting across, piece of cake. Most of the riders on this one are kids. I am encouraged.

Gears grind, sparks fly, and we're off. Round and round, like a merry-go-round. No worries. Then our car itself begins to spin. Ah, bit disorienting, and there's that nasty "about to be tossed" feeling, but nothing I can't --

Then the individual arms begin to rise and fall. Well. Okay. This is --

-- and then the cars themselves tilt. They tilt 90 degrees. I am now spinning vertically perpendicular to the ground, and rising and falling, and spinning horizontally.

...

There's a moment in every Lovecraft story, when a feckless human catches a glimpse of Cthulhu, where said human's reaction is supposed to be some sort of sanity-shattering meltdown far beyond what you're capable of even imagining. This is a terror that kills. We struggle to visualize such a reaction and necessarily, as we are sane and live in an orthogonal universe, come up short.

My wife knows.

It's always a matter of debate, what was the most humiliating moment of my meltdown. I hold that it was when I screamed "I DON'T WANT TO DIE LISTENING TO MADONNA!" Lovely Wife prefers the bit where, legitimately concerned at my terror, she yelled "Hold my hand!"

At the prospect of loosening my white-knuckled grip from the safety bar, I screamed back at her, straight into her face: "FUCK YOU! YOU HOLD MY HAND!"

Afterward, the various twelve-year olds regarded me with pity. Pity. Do you know how far you have to fall in an adolescent's eyes before you drop below scorn? They're hard-wired for scorn. The evening ended with my wife actually taking me to the petting zoo for a bit, to collect myself, before we headed home.

The goats helped.

All this to give you some context. Because when I read this:
A girl's feet were cut off Thursday when a free-fall thrill ride malfunctioned at the Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom Amusement Park in Louisville, Kentucky, police said.

A cord wrapped around the 16-year-old's feet and severed them at her ankles while she was on the "Superman Tower of Power," a police dispatcher said. The girl was taken to a local hospital.


-- I need to inform you that blogging may be slow for a bit, as I will be under my bed, in a fetal position. For a while.

The queasiness of my irrational fear's sudden gripping return is leavened somewhat by the "ah-ha" of "I KNEW it", but it's a hollow moment. A bit like your irrational fear of zombies being validated by the appearance of actual zombies at your window.

In the comments, your completely irrational fears. The ones that end you.

Oh, and here's the "Tower of Power" in question:










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101 comments:

Mike said...

Not to throw gas on the fire, but I knew a woman who was actually electrocuted just by standing on the merry go round at one of those fly by night fairs. Faulty wiring sent high-voltage direct current through her body, and she couldn't let go of the pole that was killing her.

I repeat: this was a merry go round.

Other than that, though, I'd imagine those rides are mostly fairly safe usually.

caseyko74 said...

Thank you John. I have had a shitty week, and you just made me laugh until tears came out.

I can think of no irrational fears at the moment.s

Adam said...

Not for all the tea in China would I go on one of those things. No sir.

impworks said...

A 3 foot fall onto a padded surface fractured my arm when I was in nursery school. You'll not catch me going anywhere near one of those rides.

I'd love to see the little girl / clown / pony scene in a comedy.

Chris said...

Well, I have a fear or two that are actual kill-fears, so I'd like to thank you for adding another one: evil clown in the middle of my bedroom, eating a pony. Because I truly didn't have enough irrational fears. If I ever turn on the light and see that, I am sending the evil clown, ON the half-eaten pony, to your house, where it will tie you to the most rickety, poorly constructed fun ride, operated by the ugliest, toothless-est mad ex-con inbred demon-possessed carny they've got. And, oh yes, they WILL be playing Madonna.

Clowns freak me out, is what I'm saying.

Fun rides also scare the living hell out of me and I have sworn off all of them for life. Unfortunately, this was all undone on a recent vacation by my daughter, who has inherited her mother's great love of these terrible machines. My wife had recently injured her back and was prohibited from riding the great metal bastards, so I was left with my daughter, her cute little pouty-face and a plaintive "pleeease?"

I went on the damn ride, screamed like a little girl and was openly mocked by my own little girl afterward. She, of course, loved it.

Also, snakes. Any reptiles, really, but if an actual snake were placed on my body (or even in close proximity) the fear would kill me instantly. No one would even have time to say, "Hey, maybe we shouldn't put that thing ON him".

Great post. This is one I'll be emailing around. :)

Anonymous said...

Anything with more than four legs scares the ever-loving fuck out of me. I can't say much more about it because I become paralyzed if even THINK about many-legged critters. I can't even kill a spider. Actually, I can't even clean up a spider carcass. Maybe with a vacuum.

The exception is if I'm the dominant person in the room; if there's a spider on the wall and my little sister is scared of it, I can trap it in a cup, slide a piece of cardboard under it, and actually get it flushed before the shakes hit me. So there's that.

Simon Underwood said...

To be honest, you've hit the same nail as I do squarely on the head. I've cried off about five trips with friends in the last few years to the UK's Alton Towers because there is no way on earth I'd ever go on a single ride.

It's not that I can't handle the rush - it might actually be fun, but what gets me is the thought of that little bolt, spring or nut that holds the entire contraption together going spinging off into the distance at a crucial moment and suddenly I'm reshooting the opening of Final Destination 3.

Christ, I get nervy at the shot in Rollercoaster where the damn camera flies off the ride and does a 180. So no, no way do I entrust my life to a fairground ride. Add to that the likelihood of impalement, electrocution, limb-loss and falling (not so much the fall that bothers me as the impact that ends it) and you have something I will never ever do.

I also seized up whenever my sisters used to even walk within a metre of the high edges on our seafront. And they even have bars there.

Carolyn said...

I'm from Fredericton, and I refused to go to the fair with my friends for the exact same reason. Those rides scare the pee out of me.

Andrew Bellware said...

"A bit like your irrational fear of zombies being validated by the appearance of actual zombies at your window."
Wait -- how do you know?

Shonzi said...

I can relate John. We went to disneyland this spring. Who can be scared of disneyland, right?
Meanwhile I'm getting on space mountain, some guy getting off is having a heart attack as I get on and i can't get the damn fastening bar to go down over my knees. THey send us through anyways.
So the whole ride my girlfriend is doing her best to help hold me into the ride while I mentally continue my mantra of, "I will not freak out, I will not freak out."
So it snaps a picture of us at the end and you can plainly see, my girlfriend freaking out trying to hold me in and myself in the sternest most focused concentrative look you'd ever see on a person. So I too say fuck that, and fuck these "fun"rides.

sween said...

Crap. I was going to use a quote from this for my site's quote of the day... but I couldn't find just one quote. I was this close to just pasting the whole thing over there.

Bravo.

Keith said...

A sliding shower door nearly took off my big toe when I was ten, so I'm not too keen on those anymore. Fell right off the track and landed with a mighty thunk. Water, blood, me dancing around on one foot, naked. Good times.

I conquered my rollercoaster fears when I was 16, but bugs drive me up the frickin' wall. If I find a roach, I pick up one of the cats and throw it at it.

Polymath said...

correct me if i'm wrong here, but i always thought the whole point of the adrenalin rush was that it was a response to stuff you don't want to happen. so why encourage that by going on vomit-inducing rides. i'm with you on this one john.

my irrational clown-eating-pony-scream fear: n angry bees, with n>2 or 3.

Anonymous said...

Amusement Rides, check.
Heights, check.
Zombies, check.

I'd just add "flying" and those damn little face hugging things from Alien. I can't even name the number of times they've had a starring role in my nightmares.

Though I've dealt with some of my clown fears by engineering the actual stuffed clown that Test Card Girl carries around with her in Life on Mars. I'm doing the costume for a LoM themed party we're having and I see it as both fun and therapy all rolled into one.

Ross said...

You were there at the State Fair. The one where I started yelling not to Jesus, but at Jesus, whom I was persuaded had control of the ride with a handbreak. I still don't know why he didn't listen.

After that news bit, my children will never ride an amusement park ride...

towniebastard said...

My big fear these days is accidentally killing my wife.

My wife has allergies. Severe ones. Any seafood. Nuts. Bee stings. And those are just a few of them. She's pretty blaise about it, but the one time we went camping she refused to take an epipin with her in case she got stung by a bee and went into shock.

"Those needles are only good for 20 minutes. So if I got stung by a bee, these's no way you can get me to a hospital in time. So don't worry about it."

So she went along her merry way, enjoying the great outdoors. I was living in terror of every wayward insect possibly killing her.

Needless to say, my enjoyment of a nice tuna sandwich or Reese's Peanutbutter Cups has also gone right out the window.

Matthew Jent said...

My irrational fear is sushi.

I'm convinced -- convinced! -- that said Cthulhian insanity will be opened to me if I let one of those cold-and-maybe-still-alive things near my mouth.

Slithy Tove said...

Wasps.

Not bees, but wasps, the unbelievably creepy creatures with their legs all hanging down loosely like that.

And it's not an irrational fear, either. One of them broke my arm once.

I was tearing vines out of a fence-line, and the creature kept buzzing past my head. I was maintaining composure: I'd hear him coming, duck, he'd go by, and back to the vine-removal.

Then he came, and I didn't hear him coming. Foop! Right into my right ear. I heard him then, b'golly--it sounded like a B-17 in there!

I did the only honest-to-god backflip I have ever performed in my life, landed on my feet, half-turned in terror to sprint for dear life, made it three steps (which covered about fifty yards), and took a header smack into the ground. Landed on my head, stunning me, and on my right arm, breaking it in three places.

The wasp climbed out of my ear, stood there on my head considering, and flew away without adding further injury. He probably thought 'what's the point--I can't top that.

My cat, who is otherwise psychotic and infuriating, will snatch wasps right out of the air and eat them. She has a home as long as she wants one.

Wally said...

I can't help it -- I dearly love thrill rides. The more rickety the coaster, the more fun I have.

Moths freak me out, though. I'm careful around bees, wasps, hornets, yellowjackets, spiders, and big oogy black beetles. But moths just entirely freak me out. I try to swat them, then when they inevitably blunder toward me, seeking to batter me with their monstrous dusty wings, I lurch under something heavy and impenetrable.

People tend to bring moths to me, just to enjoy my more comedic flails and dives.

Anonymous said...

I laughed hard and long with you in that moment of terror. Before I tell of my tales I'd like to say this... The most moving part of any joke or sitcom is when suddenly they stop trying to be funny and then hit you with something sad or profound or both. In many ways that jump from comedy to sadness sums up to me the meaning of life... that something is only funny if it's not happening to you or if it's far enough away in the past you can look back and laugh.

The story of the young girl is heartbreaking and the way the post got to that story has more impact - that sir is the mark of a great writer reaching out to his audience to get a message across.

But you asked for our irrational fears.
I have plenty of those.

I will NOT EVER watch a Meteor shower. Not now not EVER. John Wyndham managed to take that away from me when I read the book as a child.

After reading the short story (not seeing the film) of "The Birds" I am scared of flocks of birds - gulls in particular if they are coming towards me.

I too fear of Zombie's being real. I still can't watch Zombie movies that take themselves seriously.

Pandemics and Nuclear Wars are also in the major fears but I think those are far more rational than many people believe.

I do have a fear of falling - anywhere I am exposed to a drop where I could fall to my death alone (planes are fine) and I'm as far away from that edge as possible.

So I don't have a fear of rollercoasters - just falling to my death in them. I have many stories which I can look back and laugh at but I didn't find funny at the time....

The best/worst story is The Tower of Terror at Disney/MGM in Orlando. Back when the ride had opened I summoned up courage and took it with my father and brother. It was awful We shot straight up and back down and I swore i would never go again.

Then years pass and I am with my wife on our first trip to MGM as a couple and she asks to go on the Tower of Terror. I calmly tell her I will wait for her. But I realise that if I fail this task so early on in the marrage .. how can I mock her fear of spiders later?

So I man up. I tell her of my fears and that I know how free falling works and that there is such a thing as terminal velocity but I can cope for her sake. Because at the back of my mind.. I've already done this. I know what to expect one shot and done...

We form up to get on the ride and I realise I'm on the back row. In the middle. Before we get on I try and remember the seat formation. That's stage one of the panic. For you see the seats are arranged as 3 rows of 3 - 3 with a gap in the middle and then the back row which is 3 1 3 with the 1 being the middle seat with no-one in front of you.

But I've done this ride before it's okay I know what to expect.

The doors open and everyone gets on - I'm last of course as I'm in the middle... Everyone pulls down their big padded metal steel bars designed to keep them safe. I sit down to find...

A lap belt.

The same style you would get in the middle seat in the back of a car.

Stage 2 of panic sets in. I ask to swap seats with anyone who will listen but their bars are down already the doors close. I start to panic and screams begin to form, we haven't even moved yet.

But it's going to be okay. I've done this ride before one shot and I'm done.

I'm still trying to figure out how the belt will hold me in place I realise it's only really to stop me going UP not down. Ah the mind of a physicist, steel trap don't you know.

For 10 seconds I manage to think about the physics of what is about to hap....

We shoot up a speeds that feel to me like Mach 100 and a G force of about 10. All I can think of is that it's one and done , one and done and we fall......

I have no breath. Thank god it's over as I ready to undo my belt

We fire again. Upwards faster this time I KNOW this isn't right. This didn't happen last time, The ride MUST be broken.

I'm going to die.

That's when they take the photo. Remember there's no-one in front of me I sit alone in my own world of terror.

We fall....

I catch my breath at last, thank god I say it's over it's ov

Again with the up

Again with the down

Please let me get out I scream I want out. There's a pause... we must be fin....

Again - this time the last time but I don't know that. All I know is this ride is broken and I'm going to die in Florida.

We fall... we stop the bars go up and everyone silently gets off... they are all trying not to laugh at me. My wife is calm trying to help me walk I have jelly (jello) from my feet to my waste. The Disney staff are looking concerned. My wife waves them off...

Still silence from everyone on the ride. I try to speak but my voice is horse... I wonder why... My wife tells me I started screaming from the first firing upwards until they let us out - screaming loudly as somehow I was channelling every little girl. EVERYONE heard me. I was louder than the ride...

We turn the corner and there in front of us is the photo taken. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE is calm a few are laughing arms in the air etc. Except the man in the middle....

That's when I hear it... the laughter not just the people I had been with - oh no everyone was pointing at me... EVEN The staff.... but not my wife she wouldn't laug.... she's crying tears roll down her eyes unable to utter a single word... For that moment I love her with all my heart because she is so sorry for the terror she put me through.. I hug her and say thank you and she barely holds it back enough to say

"That is the funniest picture I have EVER seen... we MUST buy it I don't care the cost... we MUST buy it....." then the giggling and laughing started....

I took me 2 hours to clam down enough to talk to her again. Another hour before I allowed her to go back and buy the damn photo.

It took me a day to find it funny. And today it's priceless.

But at that moment when she broke the spell I could have run her over in a lawnmower, fed her remains to her pet cat and then taken great joy in thrown the cat off the roof, pouring petrol over the remains and setting fire to it. (not that I would normally hurt an animal you understand). On day I'll put that photo on the web... but not today... it's still too soon.

Stacey said...

Honestly, I can't say I have many truly irrational fears - I'm scared of drowning, of car crashes, spiders etc but not to the point of not being able to do anything. And having grown up in OK where there are fiddlebacks and black widows, my fear of spiders isn't exactly "irrational". I have a healthy respect and prefer to squash before I ascertain identity. But I can calmly kick a tarantula out the door so long as I know I'm in an area that they aren't poisonous (big spiders, I can see where they are and where they're going, so not scary).

However, I am scared of dreams of "spiders". I generally have one after a move to a new place. Six years ago, I was napping on a couch with my boyfriend when I had one -- I levitated off the couch, used him for leverage to jump over the chair nearby before falling into a heap. he wasn't sure to laugh or cry -- fortunately, I missed the important bits.

Then five years ago after moving into my current place, another dream. this time I levitated off the bed and ran straight into the wall at the end of the bed and managed to run several inches up it before sliding down...with one knee getting SEVERE wall burn.

Needless to say, I'm considering tying myself into bed for the move that's coming in a month.

Dee Loralei said...

I always love rides 10 minutes after I get off.

My most irrational fear is when I'm driving down a country dirt road and I run over anything, but especially a snake, yes even the carcas of a snake givs me the heebie-jeebies. I pick my feet up, about even with the bottom of the car seat, and quickly close the airconditioner vents and make sure my windows are up and the doors all locked. I know beyond a shadow of doubt that that snake is going to come up after riding the wheel to the top if the carriage, amneuver through the engine and either through the floorboards, or air conditioning vent and into the cabin and exact an exact and quick retribution. And yes, as my car slows to a crawl, because my feet are no longer on the gas, I realize that I can't out run the snake, if he did manage to survive. So I point my right toe and extend it as far as it can go, until I can propel the car forward more, the further away I get, the heavier my foot becomes on the gas. Dammit, distance is the only thing to save me, some of those snakes can move durned fast. When I stop the car, I turn off the engine, remove the keys from the ignition and take off my seatbelt, and prepare myself for dismount. I twist my body toward the door,on the balls of my feet, ready to spring as far away from the car as soon as I open the door. And my little irrational lizard brain knows that just because the snake didn't make it in through the air vents, that doesn't mean he's not lying in wait for me to open the door and put my leg within grasp of his fangs.Honest to God, this has happened to meat least 5 times over the course of my life, and my response is always the same. One time, I banged my forhead on the door frame in my haste, had a bruise for days.( Not to mention, a horrible headache)

One time, I was heading back to town, after an encounter with a snake on the road and in that spot where the carcass should have been, was a stick. I pulled the car over and laughed and laughed, but sure enough next time I ran over a snake, a snake carcass, or a stick resembling a snake, I behaved in the same manner.

Y'alls anecdotes are much funnier than mine, mine's just plain skeery :-P Thanks for the laughs.

Toby S. said...

I don't have any irrational killer fears, but I have lots of little irrational things that will shiver my spine if I don't quash them. Probably the most common is walking up stairs from darkness to light- "there's something behind you!" my lizard brain says, and I'll often pick up the pace.

My fear of heights has inched up a bit over the years (three broken arms in falls will do that to you) but I can master it, and it's rational, so that doesn't count.

The Weeping Angels freaked me right the hell out, though. That tapped right into something, believe you me.

Steve said...

My fiancee has been freaking out about Weeping Angel statues for the past several days. I'm still working my way through the Christopher Eccleston era and am shivering at the thoughts of small children with gas masks welded to their faces who say "Mummy? I'm scared of the bombs, Mummy..."

Bistroist said...

I can't believe a thread about a 16 year old girl injured by Superman's Tower of Power got to 24 comments without anyone making a cock joke.

You people disgust me.


(Great post, Rogers.)

Evan said...

This isn't quite the same sort of thing, but the question about irrational fears reminded me of a story.

A couple of decades ago I went to a college where there's a huge open meadow, where, back in the day, they used to graze cattle. I was a cityboy then, and one night around midnight my equally-citified best friend and I went for a walk across the campus, taking a shortcut across the meadow.

It was a foggy, almost moonless night, and as we walked we passed many quiet shadows that we could see just clearly enough to recognize as cows. At some point, one of us--I don't recall which--wondered aloud, "How would we be able to tell if one of these was a bull?"

At this point, our near-total combined ignorance of all things related to livestock pounced on us, and we became convinced that there was a bull somewhere in the shadows, and that if it woke up, we'd be gored in a heartbeat. In a strangled silence we ran like hell for the far side of that meadow.

After we'd crossed the cattle guard, we were standing there, panting, when the utter ridiculousness of the past few minutes began to dawn on us. My friend looked at me and said, "Oh my God... Moo Cows!!" and the two of us laughed for a very long time.

We still quote that line to each other from time to time.

Jim said...

You know that scene in Peter Jackson's King Kong? Yeah.

Grubber said...

I went on this just a few weeks ago, first time on one in years.

http://www.roller-coaster.com.au/article.php?aid=70

The argument I use to get myself on this is, themeparks this large actually MAINTAIN there rides and have a better than 50-50 shot of letting you walk off alive.

When I go to the local yearly show nearby and the people who have reconstructed the ride in place and are servicing it daily/hourly, look like they would not be able to get a job changing a tyre....that's when I pull the pin and head off to plink ducks in sideshow alley and throw rings over empty bottles of vodka.

cheers
Dave
PS thought I was getting old when I got off that ride until the 6 foot 4 inch or so scalp shaved gym junkie next to me was muttering....woooooaaaaaahhhhh as he weaved his way to the exit.

Alice said...

10 mins later.. still laughing :)

x

Doctor Slack said...

I have an irrational fear of shortwave numbers stations. The first time I heard one it lived in my nightmares for weeks.

pretty shaved ape said...

Ah, the sweet bladder crushing fear of fear. Back in high school I took my first girlfriend to the local fair. She was one of the people that would stand up in a coaster and surf it if they'd let her. I am what they call, um, chickenshit. I am also a cunning coward. Knowing that she would want to get on every freefall and die ride they could offer, I set the stage for retreat by pleading upset stomach before we even got on the bus.

She was cool with the idea of not wearing my barf and rode the rides with our other friends. After hitting all the death machines, she took my hand and squeezed up against me. I still remember the warm yielding sensation of her breast against my arm as she cooed, 'Come on, the ferris wheel isn't very big. We can cuddle up there.'

I gave the wheel a dubious look. It didn't seem very high and the seats were enclosed in oval cages, with doors, so I couldn't fall out. I took a deep breath and smiled, okay I can do this. We climbed aboard, they locked us in. The metal bar was snug against our tummies and she was snuggled up against me. I played brave, sure that I could hold my breath and not pee for the duration.
The cars filled and we slowly rose to the top of the ride. My knuckles were a little white gripping the crossbar with the big metal ring in front of us.

As the last car filled, everything seemed fine. We went around the circle a few times, gently rocking. Then my sweetheart reached forward and grabbed the metal ring on the bar and jammed it forward as we reached the top. The car didn't swing, it locked in place and we began to crest the ride and invert. Once we were upside down she was giggling and I was whimpering. She released the ring and we swung wildly on our own little axis. The rest of the ride was her locking and releasing our little car as I squealed and howled in mortal terror.

She's the same girl that used the promise of carnal intimacy to get me onto Space Mountain. Nothing says macho like having the 15 year old girl working the ride have to help pry your locked fingers off the metal hand grips. Not long before we split up, she dragged me to 6-Flags. I didn't ride anything except the water park slides. She however went straight from chili dogs and pepsi to one of the coasters. The first time she'd been on one that corkscrewed.

I know she wasn't scared and loved every second of the ride until the kid riding in front of her yacked. The warm spray made her yack. I collected her at the end of the ride looking pale and shaken with her long curly hair gelled back with bits of bun, relish and sticky soda. The chain reaction had caused quite a few folks to barf. The closed the ride for half an hour to clean up. Justice is another kid's lunch in your eyebrows.

junebuglet said...

I have been chased by a nest full of wasps, stinging me on my head. I have faced a mother bear and her three cubs, alone on a road in the middle of the night. I don't like fun rides because I'm always let down by their lack of scariness.

However.

Spelunking is another story. I don't mind going down deeper and deeper into a lightless pit. I don't even mind if the bottom of the pit has water, or people turn the lights off as a joke. It's the type of cave exploration I will never do that scares the bujeezus out of me. The type of spelunking where you're walking along and the roof gets lower and lower, and soon you're on your hands and knees, and then you're on your belly. And you crawl on your belly in this geological abberation that basic physics suggest could be righted at any time, the "walls" of the cave so far away it's as if you're like a bug under a huge rock... all it has to do is shift one teeny little bit (which our planet does from time to time, which makes this in my opinion, not an irrational fear). You're pushing your backpack out in front of you because it no longer fits on your back. And then you get stuck. The ceiling is too low to move onward, and because your feet are behind you, there's no way to push backwards and return the way you came. A giant sandwich - Planet, You, and Mountain. You're basically inside a giant mortar and pestle, and you're stuck. You can't scream - it could make the rock shift. You can't cry, the weight pressing your chest makes that type of shuddering impossible. All you can do is wait for the planet to crush you to death in the darkness and the silence as tears run silently down your cheeks.

When I read about people who do this sort of thing for fun... As the sweat oozes from all of my pores, I try to soothe myself with logic: "After the puddle of urine which will no-doubt appear within moments, I will be somewhat thinner, and no longer stuck, and even if I were to be there for two days, in the dark, the weight of the entire planet on my back, pressing me into oblivion, I would certainly be deyhdrated enough that I would be able to slip out."

Fuck logic. I will never go spelunking.

Sarah said...

Oh my god. I laughed until I CRIED when I read this. I had a hard time reading it aloud to my husband, what with the laughing and crying.

As to irrational fears - sharks. Sharks. I live in MICHIGAN. I couldn't swim in a lake until I was 17 because I was certain I would be eaten by a shark IN A MAN MADE LAKE. I won't go into the ocean past my knees because, you know, most shark attacks take place in three feet of water.

Anonymous said...

Haunted houses. I know it's all fake, and I know I'm an adult, but for the love of money you can not get me to set foot in one.

Jeff said...

Falling. Not heights. Falling.

When I was about 10 or 11, I was up at the top of the CN Tower on a spectacularly windy day and I felt the thing sway far more than I'd have liked. In that instant, I knew I was going to fall. And I thought to myself, 'Gwen Stacey wasn't killed by the impact'. That random thought did me in and I started to panic.

As for roller coasters, I hate them, but force myself to go on them for some stupid reason.

Madonna also terrifies me.

dan mcenroe said...

Success.





That's pretty much my only irrational fear.

Anonymous said...

I was never allowed on travelling shows when I was little. You know, the ones that set up in part of a parking lot in town and stuff.

You see, my grandfather was a mechanic for a while, and he worked on the machinery from those shows...

Anonymous said...

Spelunking is one of those things that I have done in the past but looking back, I would likely NEVER do again. For all of the reasons junebuglet stated, and one more. If your Batteries run out while you are in the caves, you are screwed. You die. You wander blind in the dark untill you starve to death or some other stupid person finds you in the dark and is so startled by finding you there they beat you to death with thier flash light.

Another thing that I have done but will never do again is Swimning in the ocean. At least I wont do this far from shore.
When I was 10 years old my family went on a trip to florida, and of course like any kid who has never seen the ocean before you just have to go to the beach. So my family goes and my father starts to walk further and further from shore. He starts egging me on to come further out with him, so here we are, 10 year old with his dad walking slowly out as far as we can into the freaking ocean. A big wave would come and lift us up from the sand and set us abck down again.
A single look over my sholder and I was petrified. We were easily 200 yards from the shore (which looks like a mile when your 10 years old).
Watched the news a couple weeks after we got back, and hear a story of a shark attack not 20 yeards from the shore.

This fear has moved into my lake swimning as well. I can stand to be floating in a lake after falling from water skis or a tube, theres that feeling like somethign is just going to come out of the deep and pull you under. That and as Kevin James has said in his comedy routines seaweed is scary as hell when it touches your toes.

Now Im going to think about bolts flying out of rolercoasters the next time im at Cedar Point....great.

John III said...

Thank you John. This is why I read Blue Beetle. ( And Why I might see transformers...)


I have forwarded this link to everyone I know... Expect your stats to be flooded with at LEAST 3 more visitors.

Kyle said...

Stickers or any adhesive strip placed anywhere on my body. I get the willies and lose control over my limbs in blind panic. I have even karate chopped my girlfriend's arm when she was playing around and tried to put a gold star on me.

Doctor Jay said...

When I was young, I didn't like rides that took you upside down, even though I loved to hang by my knees on the monkey bars or tree branches or whatever.

I also was terrified when my parents took me to see Planet of the Apes at the drive-in movie. The original one. Yes, I'm old, get over it.

I hid behind the seat of the car for the first 45 minutes or so, because talking monkeys were just too scary, man. I finally peeked and discovered that, hey, that one was kinda cute, really.

These days the most terrifying thing I know are the words, "Honey, we need to talk!"

Kaji said...

You, sir, have made my morning. Me, I love the thrill rides, so long as you don't let me think about them.

My irrational fear? Crowds and enclosed spaces. Makes cross-country flights real interesting. Other than that...I distinctly remember being terrified of the damn dog in Duck Hunt when I was a child.

John said...

You know that scene in Peter Jackson's King Kong? Yeah.

Oh, absolutely.

My "favorite" -- in the sense that I keep having it, not in the sense that I have a preference -- recurring nightmare has me being chased. I've had this dream in various incarnations: vampires, zombies, Aliens (the ones from the movies), even your run-of-the-mill angry mobs.

It doesn't matter how the dream starts off. At some point, I end up running for my life. Every time I duck around a corner and pause to catch by breath, they find me again and I have to keep running.

Of course, no one can run forever.

But the mob never tires...

The Bunnyman said...

I live in Louisville, KY, so that news story has been all over the media the last couple of days.

It's not that I'm not horrified, nor is it that I don't feel sorry for the girl involved, although I will note that because I'm a dick, my first reaction on hearing about it was to say to my wife "I hope she was really, really tall, because now she's two feet shorter", and then my wife hit me, so, you know, it all evens out.

Anyway, while I'm horrified on this girl's behalf, I'm also, like, I don't know, feeling kind of vindicated, too, because I don't go on rides like this, and I don't go on rides like this because THEY SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME, and, unlike horror novels which scare the shit out of me but, you know, it's a novel and I can put it down and go get some pie, rides of this nature are fucking gigantic things made out of metal and wood and plastic and if they malfunction I cannot just unstrap, go out to the kitchen, and rummage around in the fridge for something nice under some shrink wrap. I will fucking DIE. Or have appendages lopped off. And then dicks like me will make fun of me.

So I don't ride on these things. And when I hear about stuff like this happening, part of me says "See? SEE? If everyone were more like me, 13 year old girls wouldn't be getting their feet lopped off." (Plus, novelty bunny ears stock would soar. Although that's a side issue.)

And I've had those dreams where everything in the world is chasing you too, but ever since I was a kid, I've also had the facility to sometimes become self aware of the fact that I'm dreaming and, upon doing so, exert a weird kind of quasi-control over the course of the dream.

It's nothing godlike, but I can usually fly, in a halting, really lame ass way sort of reminiscent of how a dodo would fly if said dodo was really really wasted on some unfuckingbelievable hash that also gave it telekinetic powers, like that dwarf in that one episode of STAR TREK about the ancient Greek gods, you know the one I mean. This never actually lets me escape my pursuers, but it does let me get some distance on them, at which point, I can duck out of sight and 'turn invisible'.

The thing about this is, I'm not really invisible. But once I've ducked out of sight and 'turned invisible', then I can let the crowd catch up to me and argue with them about whether I'm invisible or not.

See, I'll tell them that, you know, I'm invisible, and they can't see me, but if they look down the block, hey, there I am, ducking down that alley.

They never believe me at first. I mean, they always argue. But arguing is a lot better than whatever the christ they started out wanting to do to me, and usually, in the course of the debate, I'll either convince at least a few of them that I actually AM invisible and they really CAN'T see me and I really DID just duck into an alley a bit further down the street, and then they'll kind of dispiritedly trail off in that direction (but their hearts really aren't in it)... or I'll wake myself up, which is, you know, probably the best course of action, all the way around.

I told all this to a very annoying girl named Anne I went out on one really disastrous date with back in the 80s, and she insisted that I was a 'dream weaver' and could learn to use this ability in vast and powerful ways. But she struck me as one of these people who works very very hard at always being the smartest person in any given room, and like most of those people, her mastery of The Bullshit far outstripped her actual knowledge on any specific subject.

Or all of them, I suppose.

I've just closed my eyes again.

s9 said...

My irrational fear? Infiltration of the public education system by self-trepanation cultists.

mskp said...

gold.

Anonymous said...

giI am terrified of small people

Sarah (quite tall person)

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钢制料箱
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手动液压托盘搬运车
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仓储笼
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仓储笼
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折叠式仓储笼
折叠式仓储笼
折叠仓储笼
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said...

広島 不動産
徳島 不動産
結婚相談所 横浜
高松 不動産
高知 不動産
ソニー損保
お見合いパーティー
広島 不動産

said...

岡山 不動産
婚約指輪
結婚指輪
浮気調査
賃貸
群馬 不動産
治験
出産祝い
結婚相談所 東京
アクサダイレクト
障害者
24そんぽ24
アメリカンホームダイレクト

said...

水虫
三井ダイレクト
募金
盲導犬
自動車保険
自動車保険 比較
チューリッヒ
自動車 保険 見積
盲導犬

said...

国際協力
出会い
出会い系
出会い系サイト
出会いサイト
不動産
成長ホルモン
ショッピングカート
東京 ホームページ制作
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huge boobs galore -
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my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -

Anonymous said...

more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -

Anonymous said...

sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -

Anonymous said...

border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -

Anonymous said...

his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
my naughty latin maid -
my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
naughty allie -
naughty america vip -
naughty bookworms -
naughty drive thru -
naughty julie -
naughty office -
neighbor affair -
porn stud search -
prime cups -
rectal rooter -
she got pimped -
simpson twins -
so cal coeds -
sperm swap -
squirt hunter -
tamed teens -
teen brazil -
teens for cash -
teen topanga -
trixie teen -
twinks for cash -
wild fuck toys -
all internal -
american daydreams -
asian parade -
ass masterpiece -
ass traffic -
backseat bangers -
bang boat -
black cocks white sluts -
boob exam scam -
bookworm bitches -
border bangers -
bubble butts galore -
college fuckfest -
college wild parties -
couples seduce teens -
diary of a milf -
dirty latina maids -
fast times at nau -
first time swallows -
ftv girls -
gangbang squad -
gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
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little april -
little summer -
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my friends hot mom -
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my sex tour -
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first time swallows -
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gay blind date sex -
gay college sex parties -
give me pink -
her first anal sex -
her first big cock -
her first dp -
her first lesbian sex -
his first facial -
his first gay sex -
his first huge cock -
housewife 1on1 -
housewife bangers -
huge boobs galore -
insane cock brothas -
just facials -
latin adultery -
little april -
little summer -
met art -
milf seeker -
milton twins -
more gonzo -
my first sex teacher -
my friends hot mom -
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my sex tour -
my sisters hot friend -
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said...

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said...

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dance said...

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dance said...

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マックス

dance said...

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dance said...

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外国為替証拠金取引は元本や利益を保証するものではなく、外国為替相場の変動や金利差により損失が生じる場合がございます。外国為替お取引の前に十分内容を理解し、外国為替ご自身の判断でお取り組みください

said...

不動産 広島,岡山/四国(香川,徳島,愛媛,高知) 不動産 -あなぶき不産ナビ不動産四国4県、岡山の不動産、不動産広島の不動産など不動産情報検索(マンション・一戸建て・土地・収益物件等)サイトです不動産。穴吹不動産流通株式会社"

said...

美容整形することによって絶対的な美を得られるわけではありません。美容整形『自分は変わった』という事実を物理的に確認することで、気になって仕方がなかった自分 の体に対するコンプレックスから解放される。美容整形そこではじめて心を研ぎ澄まし、自分の内面を磨いていくことができるようになるのです。そうして人は美しく なっていく。美容整形外見だけ

said...

派遣情報サイトには、魅力的なお仕事をたくさん掲載しています。派遣お仕事をお探しの皆さまにとって、より使いやすく便利なサイトにするべく、アデコ派遣情報サイトをリニューアルしました。

said...

美容整形
外国為替
現金化
外国為替
派遣会社
クレジットカード 現金化

said...

不動産
派遣
クレジットカード 現金化
インプラント
データ復旧
コンタクトレンズ
キャッシング
不動産
投資
FX
アフィリエイト
toefl
パソコン自作

发展seo said...

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moto said...

パソコン自作
人材派遣
ブログアフィリエイト
多重債務
バイク便
マンスリーマンション
印鑑
ゴルフ会員権
新宿 賃貸
育毛剤

moto said...

婚約指輪
出会い系
そんぽ24
治験
ソニー損保
三井ダイレクト
アクサダイレクト
一戸建て

moto said...

行政書士
現金化
結婚式
有料老人ホーム
副業
クレジットカード 現金化
看護
ウェディング
earnest
デザイン 専門学校
クレジットカード 現金化

moto said...

婚約指輪
出会い系
そんぽ24
治験
ソニー損保
三井ダイレクト
アクサダイレクト
一戸建て

Anonymous said...

クレジットカード現金化
賃貸 大田区
賃貸 北区
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賃貸 目黒
賃貸 新築
賃貸 ペット可
賃貸 楽器可
賃貸 手数料なし
賃貸 保証人不要
賃貸 駅5分以内
賃貸 部屋探し
東京 部屋探し
デザイナーズ 賃貸
賃貸 分譲仕様
賃貸 中央線
賃貸 京浜東北線
賃貸 京王線
賃貸 東横線
賃貸 丸ノ内線

wooaini said...

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好想你枣
北京好想你枣
轴承
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FAG轴承
NTN轴承
NSK轴承
SKF轴承
网站建设
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googel左侧优化
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飘人|飘人2008|云淡风清
铣刀
意大利留学
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小吃车
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铣刨机
china tours
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泳池设备
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珍珠棉

makulila said...

会社設立
債務整理
ワンクリック詐欺
東京 マッサージ
薬剤師 求人
クレジットカード 海外旅行保険

Anonymous said...

Wow, I'd never thought of it before, but I really DON'T want to die listening to Madonna. Especially that "Holiday-Celebrate" song. That would add insult to injury (fatal injury, apparently).

Oh, and I love old wooden roller coasters.

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