#2 is indeed false although, as guessed by Jacob Weinstein, only slightly. When in Boston I hacked around regularly with one band -- in Montreal I'd sit in on some random sets, but nothing organized. I can still, if pressed, hack my way through 12 bars of crossharp.
"1) Not only have I been to Las Vegas with Hilary Swank, but we went to a Star Trek convention together."
Promotion for The Core. We did San Diego, and then the two of us flew to Vegas together to do a big Star Trek convention (hello Paramount synergy). Spent the day together, had a lovely time. She's ridiculously sweet.
"3) I once wore a slinky green dress and sang Lisa Loeb's "Stay." And not on stage. "
I then slept with the person I sang it to. That's all you get of this story.
"4.) My first produced script was a murder mystery set on a cruise ship, ending with a swordfight."
My first produced script was actually a play, written while I was still in college for a friend teaching at my old high school. She wanted something original for her kids to perform that year, and I obliged. On the reread it's ... regularly amusing, if abominable in all other respects.
Yes, Pam, this is the one with the exploding seagulls.
"5.) During one of my TV specials, the camera cut to an audience shot and randomly, out of 2000 audience members, landed on my Dad and Lovely Wife."
The Just for Laughs special on Showtime, '94. The St. Denis Theater show which essentially got me my sitcom deal and launched my career proper. At least they were laughing. Would have been awkward if my Dad had been shaking his head, Lovely Wife agreeing.
Not technically about me, no, but there's not all that much more about me that I care to discuss.
There. I'll reserve the Swank/paparazzi story and how I owe Janeane Garofolo for my sitcom for another day.