Lunch Discussions #213: Canaries and Meth

John: ... so just install Foxit, and your pdfs rip open.

Tyrone: I'm fine with Adobe Acrobat.

John: But you know that long, slow grinding Adobe does every time you open a pdf, like an '88 Ford Escort with a bad tranny? You don't have to wait for that.

Tyrone: I don't mind it's slow. Gives me time to go to the fridge, collect my thoughts ...

John: ... are you saying that Adobe Acrobat is on CPT?

Tyrone: White people, always in a rush, go go go, gotta got your pdf file open now.

John: I just want you to look at these docs, maybe write something for the blog. You have fans on the site, and out on the net.

Tyrone: Are you nuts? I'm not going on record and criticizing this Administration!

John: There aren't a ton of black bloggers, your voice --

Tyrone: That's because we know what's going to happen! I'm on enough lists, thank you!

John: After the election, you'll be perfectly safe.

Tyrone: See, you're still under the impression that those voting machines will actualy be connected to something.

John: I'll admit, there are problems with e-voting machines, but your idea that they'll just toss the election and declare martial law seems a little paranoid.

Tyrone: Yeah, it's not like a black man's paranoia about the government has ever paid off.

John: It's not like anyone's ever tried to intentionally suppress the black vote --

Tyrone: Mmm-hmm.

John: -- killed your political leaders, let you be over-represented in the military while under-represented in the government, abandoned a primarily black city to destruction in a hurricane, um --

Tyrone: -- actually used us for medical experiments.

John: ... ah. You're saying whenever black people are paranoid about something, you tend to be right --

Tyrone: We are right.

John: -- and so in theory white people could use that paranoia to anticipate when a larger-scale equal-opportunity screwing is coming.

Tyrone: Government that fucked up Katrina isn't going to suddenly pull its pants up and get hypercompetent when Boston gets nuked, or gas goes to $8 a gallon and those white suburbs start collapsing.

John: Canaries in the political coal mine.

Tyrone: Damn straight.

John: C'mon, if all your conspiracy theories are right, does that include the crazy crack conspiracy?

Tyrone: Manufactured by the Man to keep us down. Absolutely

John: Then how do you explain the plague of crystal meth on white poor? That just happened naturally --

Tyrone: No. That one's ours.

John: Really? So a couple black chemical engineers said "Payback time! Get me some rubber tubing, cough medicine, Draino, we're going to whip up a drug even crackers can make in their kitchens!"

Tyrone: "We know what kind of drug they want, something that'll make them edgy and keep 'em up all night, make them go go go -"

John: "Because they are always in a rush to get shit done."

Tyrone: OH! Brought it all the way back around. Nice to see a litte craft.

John: We are professionals.