Saturday, April 09, 2005
Dig! DIIIIIG!
From our fine friend Warren, who's just cranky because my drinking has not yet created a "knee injury" forcing me to walk with a cane.
My psychic powers grow stronger every day. When the giant robots come to fight, then you will know who you should've been listening to the whole time. Yes, the giant robots and sleazy catwomen! I am vindicated!
Sahara
Okay, okay, it was easily 30 minutes too long. Maybe 40. And one more southern rock choice in the soundtrack, I was going to go home and invent a time machine, go back in time, and sneak a sackful of rabid weasels onto Skynyrd's plane so I'd know that during the entire crash, they were ALSO being tormented by the weasel bites.
But you know what? It's good. Way better than it has any right to be. Worth your money, if this is your kind of thing. Old school 1980's action done right, with a ton of good will and just head-bobbing goddam fun. Actual chemistry between all three leads. The plot certainly makes more sense than the last three Bond movies combined. There was a moment when I realized: "Holy shit. A guy movie. An actual guy movie."
Speaking of which, the first time the sneaky little 007-style brass flourish kicks in as Pitt pulls some cool action stunt, I chuckled out loud. And, unlike almost every American director working right now, Eisner knows how to choreograph an action sequence and track geography for maximum shoot-em-up effectiveness. This is a skill completely unappreciated by anyone except those of us who write big actions scenes, and we are in frikkin' despair. He also knows how to frame a decent punch-up (or is smart enough to have a great second-unit guy). He just needs a writer or producer who'll have the discipline to keep the pacing up within the existing structure.
Having done three films for the ancien regime at Paramount which produced this, I can smell exactly what happened. The Enemies of Fun at the studio did their best to make it "a better class of movie", because some of them are elitist snobs, and Eisner, bless him, managed to keep them from completely killing it. Then, having no idea what to do with it because it wasn't a pedantic thriller, they mis-marketed it. Do I know for sure what happened? No. Do I remember the meeting where they said The Core "should be more like Das Boot"? Oh yes. Oh fuck yes. (I'm looking forward to seeing what the shake-up brings.)
But I guarantee, even if this thing rolls over at the box-office: this is a flick you'll catch five minutes of on TBS a couple years from now, and an hour later you'll realize you got some chips and diet coke and you just blew out your afternoon.
Go with your dad or 12-year old nephew. Shit blows up. People fight. Some nice old-school chase sequences. Eat Twizzlers and grin like a bastard at the explodo.
But you know what? It's good. Way better than it has any right to be. Worth your money, if this is your kind of thing. Old school 1980's action done right, with a ton of good will and just head-bobbing goddam fun. Actual chemistry between all three leads. The plot certainly makes more sense than the last three Bond movies combined. There was a moment when I realized: "Holy shit. A guy movie. An actual guy movie."
Speaking of which, the first time the sneaky little 007-style brass flourish kicks in as Pitt pulls some cool action stunt, I chuckled out loud. And, unlike almost every American director working right now, Eisner knows how to choreograph an action sequence and track geography for maximum shoot-em-up effectiveness. This is a skill completely unappreciated by anyone except those of us who write big actions scenes, and we are in frikkin' despair. He also knows how to frame a decent punch-up (or is smart enough to have a great second-unit guy). He just needs a writer or producer who'll have the discipline to keep the pacing up within the existing structure.
Having done three films for the ancien regime at Paramount which produced this, I can smell exactly what happened. The Enemies of Fun at the studio did their best to make it "a better class of movie", because some of them are elitist snobs, and Eisner, bless him, managed to keep them from completely killing it. Then, having no idea what to do with it because it wasn't a pedantic thriller, they mis-marketed it. Do I know for sure what happened? No. Do I remember the meeting where they said The Core "should be more like Das Boot"? Oh yes. Oh fuck yes. (I'm looking forward to seeing what the shake-up brings.)
But I guarantee, even if this thing rolls over at the box-office: this is a flick you'll catch five minutes of on TBS a couple years from now, and an hour later you'll realize you got some chips and diet coke and you just blew out your afternoon.
Go with your dad or 12-year old nephew. Shit blows up. People fight. Some nice old-school chase sequences. Eat Twizzlers and grin like a bastard at the explodo.
Friday, April 08, 2005
Spoilers!
(recorder on)
John: Thanks for talking to me.
God: I'm always talking to you.
John: I love that bit. Okay. You've seen the fan response.
God: Yeah, I visited the boards. (chuckles) Wow!
John: A long series of weird deaths --
God: Reagan, Arafat --
John: Johnny Cochran
God: From that great run on "I Can't Believe It's the Justice System".
John: Prince Rainier, Saul Bellow and more, then a bizarre wife-murder crime run, followed by reintroduction of old villains the Avian Flu and Ebola Outbreak, plus crossing the line on peak oil production --
God: Wow, you noticed that one. You are a fanboy.
John: All culminating in the death of the Pope! You had to know that would be controversial.
God: Hey, don't think we're oblivious to this. He was the longest running Pope in the twentieth century, probably the most popular Pope since the Golden Age Popes.
John: The only Pope a lot of the younger fans ever knew.
God: Twenty-six years. Not counting papal decrees and trade paperbacks.
John: I mean, is this really innovation, or are you just shocking us for shock's sake to sell faith.
God: Well, I can tell you now, and Kung Fu Monkey readers will be the first to know -- this is all part of an event.
John: A cross-over?
God: No, an EVENT. A fundamental realignment of the AE-universe. We call it Infinite Crisis of the Actual Earth.
John: Wow. Now, is this really a change, or just recycling an old idea with some new flash?
God: I know, I know, you're talking about --
John: Iraq Wars Two. Everyone loved Iraq Wars One, but ten years later all you do is recycle the same war. And it's not as good. Taking way too long to wrap up.
God: Bush and Rumsfeld have deadline issues. But count your blessings. We originally had Ellis writing it.
John: I'm just wondering, how long before a ret-con, and it turns out to be a Pope-clone or some bullshit like that?
God: Trust me. In the Actual Earth Universe, dead means dead. Just ask your grandma.
John: ... man. Ow.
God: Sorry. Woke up feeling all smite-y today. (sips coffee) In an OTG mood.
John: Will Infinite Crisis on Actual Earth introduce any new characters?
God: Four. You'll know 'em when you see 'em. And even before that, you and the fans will be happy to know, we are re-launching the Pope. The creative team behind the relaunch is the College of Cardinals, who brought you the last Pope you all love so much, so everything's in good hands.
John: Thanks for the scoop!
God: All the fans better make sure their subscriptions are paid up, because you're not going to want to miss this! (laughs. stops) And buy some iodine tablets. And canned soup. Maybe learn some basic Chinese verbs. Seriously.
(recorder off)
John: Between you and me?
God: Sure.
John: Any regrets?
God: Never should have let Millar write the Schiavo thing.
John: I knew it.
John: Thanks for talking to me.
God: I'm always talking to you.
John: I love that bit. Okay. You've seen the fan response.
God: Yeah, I visited the boards. (chuckles) Wow!
John: A long series of weird deaths --
God: Reagan, Arafat --
John: Johnny Cochran
God: From that great run on "I Can't Believe It's the Justice System".
John: Prince Rainier, Saul Bellow and more, then a bizarre wife-murder crime run, followed by reintroduction of old villains the Avian Flu and Ebola Outbreak, plus crossing the line on peak oil production --
God: Wow, you noticed that one. You are a fanboy.
John: All culminating in the death of the Pope! You had to know that would be controversial.
God: Hey, don't think we're oblivious to this. He was the longest running Pope in the twentieth century, probably the most popular Pope since the Golden Age Popes.
John: The only Pope a lot of the younger fans ever knew.
God: Twenty-six years. Not counting papal decrees and trade paperbacks.
John: I mean, is this really innovation, or are you just shocking us for shock's sake to sell faith.
God: Well, I can tell you now, and Kung Fu Monkey readers will be the first to know -- this is all part of an event.
John: A cross-over?
God: No, an EVENT. A fundamental realignment of the AE-universe. We call it Infinite Crisis of the Actual Earth.
John: Wow. Now, is this really a change, or just recycling an old idea with some new flash?
God: I know, I know, you're talking about --
John: Iraq Wars Two. Everyone loved Iraq Wars One, but ten years later all you do is recycle the same war. And it's not as good. Taking way too long to wrap up.
God: Bush and Rumsfeld have deadline issues. But count your blessings. We originally had Ellis writing it.
John: I'm just wondering, how long before a ret-con, and it turns out to be a Pope-clone or some bullshit like that?
God: Trust me. In the Actual Earth Universe, dead means dead. Just ask your grandma.
John: ... man. Ow.
God: Sorry. Woke up feeling all smite-y today. (sips coffee) In an OTG mood.
John: Will Infinite Crisis on Actual Earth introduce any new characters?
God: Four. You'll know 'em when you see 'em. And even before that, you and the fans will be happy to know, we are re-launching the Pope. The creative team behind the relaunch is the College of Cardinals, who brought you the last Pope you all love so much, so everything's in good hands.
John: Thanks for the scoop!
God: All the fans better make sure their subscriptions are paid up, because you're not going to want to miss this! (laughs. stops) And buy some iodine tablets. And canned soup. Maybe learn some basic Chinese verbs. Seriously.
(recorder off)
John: Between you and me?
God: Sure.
John: Any regrets?
God: Never should have let Millar write the Schiavo thing.
John: I knew it.
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Project Greenlight
Sweet God, I've never watched before.
Fire that casting director. FIRE HER.
FIRE HER.
She just told the director that she didn't have to put up with his attitude. I've been the fucking PRODUCER and respected the director's vision.
FIRE HER.
Fire that casting director. FIRE HER.
FIRE HER.
She just told the director that she didn't have to put up with his attitude. I've been the fucking PRODUCER and respected the director's vision.
FIRE HER.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Singularity Sky
Ahhh, back in my office, with the big fat pipe. I'm finishing a script, but I will briefly sing the praises of Canadian bookstores.
Specifically, contrasting chain stores. I live a block from a Borders, here in LA. Not a week goes by when I hear about something cool, go look, find nadam and wind up on Amazon. Now Chapters ... ah, Chapters in Canada. Yes, it's a chain bookstore. But the difference can be summed up in one sentence:
The Science Fiction books and Fantasy books ... are in two separate sections.
For many of you, that is meaningless. For those who know the code, you know the beauty of which I speak.
I can literally lose a day in a Chapters. So it was there I finally picked up Charles Stross' Singularity Sky. Conclusion: Oh. I'm an idiot then, for waiting. Go read all his stuff right now, please. The rest of his books wing their way to me.
Specifically, contrasting chain stores. I live a block from a Borders, here in LA. Not a week goes by when I hear about something cool, go look, find nadam and wind up on Amazon. Now Chapters ... ah, Chapters in Canada. Yes, it's a chain bookstore. But the difference can be summed up in one sentence:
The Science Fiction books and Fantasy books ... are in two separate sections.
For many of you, that is meaningless. For those who know the code, you know the beauty of which I speak.
I can literally lose a day in a Chapters. So it was there I finally picked up Charles Stross' Singularity Sky. Conclusion: Oh. I'm an idiot then, for waiting. Go read all his stuff right now, please. The rest of his books wing their way to me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)