Friday, December 02, 2005

BlackBerry Go Bye-Bye

I post this solely because a fair number of my Hollywood friends get their entire diet of tech news from my blog. Ah, the joy of being the designated geek.

Via Defamer, we are reminded that the providers of BlackBerry service in North America (based out of Ottawa, of all places) are involved in a very messy patent suit, and may have to shut down the service very, very soon. For those of you in the real world, this may seem like a minor inconvenience. But you don't understand: in Hollywood, the BlackBerry is the primary instrument through which suit-humans manage to avoid giving their full attention to anything they happen to be engaged in at the time, thereby insuring that at no point they are gazing full-on into the abyss of the futility of their existence.

Defamer mentions the irony that an industry threatened by runaway production to Canada may soon be coincidentally crippled by a software company in Canada. To which I reply: "Yeah, you keep on thinking it's a coincidence. Keep on thinking it until Phase IV is complete..."


BenDavid said...

It seems even the Zionist conspiracy is no match for Canada's sneaky ploy for world domination.

("It's about! I'll put a-boot up your ass!")

shecanfilmit said...

Sigh. I'm in the middle of writing a comedy where one of the character tics of the protagonist is a slave-like devotion to a constantly buzzing BlackBerry. Somehow a Treo or a Palm just isn't the same thing.

They're not just annoying down there in LA. Up here in Silicon Valley, even the NON-suits (read: every engineer I know) are tethered to them.

Doctor Memory said...

This would be the same Research in Motion that tried to sue Palm on the grounds of a completely bogus patent on a thumb-keybord, yes?

Couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of assholes.

(And don't even get me started on how much their server software sucks.)

Westacular said...

Defamer is out to lunch on the Ottawa bit -- RIM is, in every possible sense, a Waterloo company.

And ... it's not like RIM is just responsible for the service; they are also completely responsible for the design and manufacture BlackBerry devices as well.

This will be settled, eventually. Honestly, it can't *not* be settled -- the entire business world has come to rely on the BlackBerry. Executives across the US would rise up in a bizarre revolution if someone actually tried to cut off their CrackBerries.

Shawna said...

RIM is rewriting the software at the center of the lawsuit.

However, they have bigger problems coming from their investors who are suing the company because RIM could have settled this years ago for about $20 million.

I expect the service will live, although it would be fun to see it shut down for a few days just to see how many H'wood suits lose their minds.

Wait, they already lost them, nevermind...

Rogers said...

Yeah, kind of nice in a karmic sense to see their patent-squatting butts get spanked with their own paddle, eh?

RB Ripley said...

If BlackBerry does go buh-bye, what's going to happen on elevators?

shan said...

As one of your Canadian readers frequenting Ottawa... I say BRAVO! And that Eugene Melnyk is responsible for all of it, biovale will make you see.

Anonymous said...

Waterloo world domination plan, Step 2, Unlock the secrets of the universe

Westacular said...

Damn straight. (But you missed a few steps.)

Anonymous said...

The revenge of Johnny Drama?

Sizemore said...

If BlackBerry does go buh-bye, what's going to happen on elevators?

With a little luck 'Gusher No Binds Me'.

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