Friday, April 15, 2005

Writing: Jargon Preservation

Had an interesting moment talking to Alex Epstein the other day. We were discussing a script moment, I used a term, and he'd never heard of it. I realized that a.) if you don't apprentice in one of the big writing rooms in LA, you've probably never heard any of these terms, and b.) the older writers who taught we staff newbies these tools are -- especially with the nuclear winter of the half-hour -- not around as much. A valuable sub-cultural tool is fast disappearing. Most movie writers have no experience of this whatsoever.

Not that you need to know these things to be a writer. But it just seems a pity to me that this great oral tradition is dying. One of my favorite moments happened during my first week at Cosby.

Saul Turtletaub (father of director Jon) and Bernie Orenstein had sort of taken me under their wing -- having a stand-up around, rather than a film-school grad, reminded them of the old days of writing. During a run-through, Saul turned to Bernie and asked "Didn't we use that joke on That Girl?"

Beat. "You were on That Girl?"

We then did the math, and realized that Saul and Bernie had started their first writing job together one week before my birth. I was, literally, their career.

Thirty-odd years of solving every script problem -- and more importantly, every practical shooting script problem -- imaginable. Couple that with a ... hmm ... chaotic shooting process, and it was boot camp. One of the best things to come out of staffing was learning that for many, many situations, there was a shorthand to help codify and communicate a problem in the script that was often tantalizingly just out of reach, just at the edge of your writer's "something's ... off" radar.

So, put these in your toolbox. I'll be collecting more as we go. All origins recorded as they were explained to me.

"a Bono": a place in the script that, no matter what joke you put there, it fails.

Sonny Bono once opened a restaraunt up near the studios, called, of course, "Bono's". It failed, quickly. That's unremarkable. But then, every restaraunt that opened on that corner after Bono's also failed. Something like a DOZEN of them, and all flaming out spectacularly in six months. That corner was cursed, and so the script term "a Bono" was born. It's hard to really explain a Bono to you unless you've seen one, but they're real.

"A Nokamura": When a large number of jokes are all predicated on a single, earlier joke. This can entail great risk.

Based on a Cheers episode. A day-player was named "Nokamura". A vast chunk of the second act's jokes were based on people mispronouncing, repeating, etc. the name "Nokamura."

But the problem was, on tape night -- the first mention of "Nokamura" didn't get a laugh. This meant the rest of the jokes wouldn't work. The rest of the show was shanked.

The worst thing about a Nokamura is that when the first joke fails, you as the writing staff know what's coming. All you can do is watch in horror as your show unravels, the Nokamura too deeply entrenched to require anything but a complete between-tapings rewrite.

(Note: We have recent e-mails suggesting the origin of this term was actually The Bob Newhart Show. We are investigating)

"Up and Back": When the characters or plot go through high drama/high action scenes, but neither their emotional arc nor the story arc are advanced.

Pops up a lot in action movies or sitcoms, where the focus is often on the gag rather than the story. Usually delivered in a regretful tone while looking at the scene breakdown on the whiteboard. "Kind of an up and back, isn't it?"

"The Rake Bit": Something that's funny, goes on too long so it's not funny, then goes on so long that it becomes INCREDIBLY funny.

Goes under a couple different names, but of writers my age, this seems to be the most prevalent. Based on The Simpsons ep that was a Cape Fear riff. Sideshow Bob climbs out from under a car and steps on a rake. It smacks him. He mutters. He then steps three feet away ... onto another rake. He mutters. ad-near-infinitum.

"a Squiggy" or "the 'hello' gag": From Laverne & Shirley. Can only be defined by example.

Laverne (crossing to door): "What sort of degenerate freak would agree to that?"
Squiggy (door opens): "He-looooo."

This is a variation of but distinct from ...

"the Gilligan cut": When you cut directly from a character declaring there's no way he's going to do something, to him doing it, for comedic effect.

Also called "the flip joke", but I've heard this usage, and it's more interesting nomenclature. Thanks to Jacob at Yankee Fog.

(previously listed as "the red dress", This name comes from the way it was always described to me: a burly guy saying"There's no way I'm going to get into a red dress and pretend to be your wife". SMASH CUT to ... you get the idea.)


"a Van Dyke": leaving a scene, usually a party scene, early and then starting the next scene with a phone conversation which elaborates and expands the previous scene while also introducing new information. A nice bit of shorthand.

From, of course, the Dick Van Dyke show. You'd leave the party scene at the point of, say, Laura downing her third drink and Rob realizing she was out of control. You'd then come back to Rob on the phone the next day, talking to Buddy: "Yes. Yes, all of them. And a pony! What? The producer I'm trying to impress was there? Why didn't you tell me!"*

"on the roof": A character or bit that hasn't been written out yet, but is on double secret probation before shoot day.

I'm proud to say, this is my own little contribution to the lexicon, which I've learned has travelled to other shows. Based the old joke:
A guy has his brother watch his cat while he's on vacation. First day out, he calls his brother.
"How's my cat?"
"Sorry, Bill, the cat's dead."
"Dammit, don't tell me that! Now my vacation's ruined!"
"Well, what was I supposed to say?"
"Ease me into it! Tell me that the cat's gone up on the roof, and you can't get it down. Next time I call, tell me the cat's still on the roof, and it won't come down. Then, when I call the last time, tell me the cat died, so it's not a shock."
"Fine, fine. Sorry."
"Okay. So, how's Mom?"
"... Mom's up on the roof and she won't come down."
When, after the table read, a day-player just isn't up to snuff, or a bit lays there, a lot of times you know it'll never see the light of day on the shoot, but you just haven't come up with anything to replace it -- yet. That bit/actor is "on the roof."

Well, there you have it. I've contacted some of my older writer friends, and we'll see if we can't build the list. Any other staff writers, feel free to toss me an e-mail at kfmonkey@gmail.com and submit terms I don't know.

Hopefully this is a nice change of pace from the usual "start the scene late, leave early" entry in all the other screenwriting blogs. Enjoy.

(NOTE: Hey Defamer-ites and others. For those looking for more Jargon, you can get to the second post through the homepage of Kung Fu Monkey. For a quick tour of the site and some of the readers' favorite bits, go to Index-Fu.)

(NOTE on the NOTE: We're now up to three posts on this. Please hop to the main page and check the index, particularly if you want to pitch a new one, to see if it's already covered.)


*(Oh, and if those names mean nothing to you and you're a comedy writer, go learn a little history You're part of a tradition, for chrissake).

117 comments:

alex said...

Not a staff writer and this is probably fifth- or sixth-hand, but isn't there one about an idiot stick or idiot ball? The character you have to keep in the dark for far too long or else the plot doesn't work: that character's carrying the idiot stick.

Rogers said...

The idiot ball. I didn't include it only because, as far as I know, it's specifically a Hank Azaria quote from Herman's Head, rather than industry shorthand. It may have evolved to shorthand. I'll ask around to see.

I mentioned it here on this blog in one of my previous entries.

Jacob said...

The phrase I always heard for the "red dress" cut was "the Gilligan cut," for reasons that are probably obvious.

Anonymous said...

Individual show (and veterans of those shows) also have their own idiosyncratic terms. Ex-writers on the Trek franchise, for example, use the term "Close On Picard" as an all-purpose term to describe freelance pitches that go into waaaaay too much detail, because said freelancers would invariably start their pitches by saying "Okay, we're Close On Picard..."

I'm starting to see that one propagate to other shows and even into the feature world, though it obviously doesn't yet have the currency of "Redshirt."

shan/invector said...

I wish there was a term for the Star Trek technique of using a strange technical ajective and a common noun and combining them to explain something abstract...

"We seem to be trapped in some kind of telepedantic "

"Captain, I've extrapolated their course and it seems they're headed for some kind of polykinetic lamp"

shan/invector said...

Note to self: check over before publishing.

*adjective
*telepedantic bubble

Rogers said...

If I remember correctly, they had a placeholder term writers would drop in the script, then the Trek sci-tech continuity guys would sub in the proper hoo-haa. Dammit, it wasn't "techno-babble", it was something else ...

alex said...

Re: Idiot Ball.

Heh. Your blog is probably where I heard it then.

Alex.

Anonymous said...

Well, you of all people don't need to be told of their whole "exotic material with physics-defying properties of the week"="unobtanium" thing. I'll ask about the tech placeholder term, though.

One of the weirder terms I've run across in TV writer circles is "Kubler-Ross" used as a verb. It was used in particular by the UPN "Twilight Zone" remake showrunner as shorthand to describe how a character, upon encountering something shocking, supernatural, and unbelievable, has to go through Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' famous five stages before accepting it. So you'd get people saying "Do we have to Kubler-Ross this, or can we just move on?"


Oh, and don't forget the oldie but goodie, "Irving the Explainer." Wasn't there actually a Rockford Files episode that used that as a title?

Anonymous said...

Could you give an example of a Bono.

Rogers said...

A Bono is completely situational. What happens is, even during the tabling of the script, you usually can't find something eeveryone likes for a joke. Then, when it falls flat at the table read, your suspicions grow. Then you try a couple of different things during the rewrite, and every new joke in that spot dies. You have to keep trying, but it's up to the room-runner to declare a Bono.

Holli said...

I know the Buffy the Vampire Slayer writers had "phlebotnum," which was whatever mystical hoo-ha that was needed to make the plot go in a particular episode.

DigiDummy said...

Trek Tech-term place holder-

I remember *trekkies*, not staff, talking about how if you were writing specs for the show you should use [tech] as a place holder for technical terms that would be filled in later by "research staff" with the correct term for a Trekish widget after the "research staff" did an exhaustive check against "cannon" for the show.

But I've since heard from former staff that if that was ever true THEY'D never been told about it.

The way former staff described the process was this-
You made up your own technobabble for the draft based on knowing the show.
If the showrunner (Roddenberry, Piller, Braga, whoever), liked it, and it made sense to them, fit with what had previously aired to the best of their recollection, it stayed. If they didn't like it, or thought it contradicted what had aired to the best of their recollection, you'd get a note, or the showrunner would replace the term themselves with something more suitable in the final re-write.
But there was no "research staff" keeping tabs on techy terms.

Where this may have come from-

Somewhere on the web there's a page by an old hand who'd done Trek specs that occationally aired. That guy used to use the place holder [tech], just for himself, so he didn't lose momentum during an initial pass on a draft by having to stop, think up a tech term, and contiue.
Instead he'd temporarily use the [tech] place holder until he'd finished his first pass. That done, he'd then go back and come up with suitable tech terms to use in his draft just before turning it in.

Somehow fans misinterprited the process this guy used to use, just for his own first passes at a draft, and the next thing you know every trekkie on the planet believed that people writing specs were supposed to use the [tech] place holder, and under the impression that some imaginary department filled in the proper terminology.

Rogers said...

Holli's "phlebotonum" for Buffy is actually waht I was thinking of. I KNow a couple buffy/angel writers, remember now them talking about it.

slappy said...

I'm not an expert source, but I heard the Star Trek placeholder term was "Techitty-Tech". Not significantly different from the above suggestions, but it *is* cuter.

Anonymous said...

I've been in writer's rooms for 12 years, including 6 on "Frasier" and came to understand that a "Nakamura" originated on "Happy Days." (and for some reason -- not sure why -- I always thought it was n-a-k not n-o-k...).

More to investigate, I suppose.

Mike said...

As for "the Nakamora," I've always heard it was based on a failed call back on the The Bob Newhart show.

"Clamy" is a term I've heard used to describe a joke that feels very familiar, either in its construction ("If by BLANK you mean BLANK") or its subject ("You wouldn't believe what they served on the plane...").

Rogers said...

We now have three sources for the No/akamura. Damn, this might require a tiny bit of work on my part.

Rogers said...

And with 6 year son Frazier, what are you doing here? Why aren't you out saving television or something, man? Get typing!

Dan I. said...

I'm no screenwriter or Trekkie, but I could've sworn I saw a documentary on that Next Generation star trek where the actors claimed to actually make up the technobabble right there on the spot. Doesn't sound likely, and that probably wasn't how it was done in the old show, but I just KNOW I saw that.

Anonymous said...

"The Rake Bit": Something that's funny, goes on too long so it's not funny, then goes on so long that it becomes INCREDIBLY funny.

The peeing bit at the start of Austin Powers. That seemed to last about ten minutes.

DigiDummy said...

Term for ;-) "cast tossing"?

With shows like Trek, or any other show where every week the heroes are "attacked" by a baddie of the week, and the cast has to act as though they're being tossed around on set as the camera is given a shake, there's a term for the coordinated pantomime the actors do to make it look like the set is moving instead of the camera.
Thing is I only heard the term once, and although I remember it giving me a good chuckle at the time, I can't remember the term.
Anybody ever heard the term?

I've heard that the various Trek casts used to enjoy the hell out of competing over who could do the best coordinated lurch, with the Next Gen cast being the reining champs to beat.

jrwfelix said...

wow, you've written two of the worst movies (both critically and financially) of the last 2 years.

i so envy your massive amounts of wealth...

Rogers said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Rogers said...

God bless you, jrw. Thank you for your input. And I pray a day comes when your life is not so empty, so devoid of accomplishment or meaning that you need to take cheap shots at guys who are actually doing something. Remember, Jesus loves you. I love you.

Although, a gentle reminder that I SPECIFICALLY said hate mail should stay in the e-mail box, while the comments are just for constructive contributions and discussions. Over to the right at kfmonkey@gmail.com.

jrwfelix said...

it's a shame tone doesn't come through very well in a post because you badly mistook my meaning(s). i sincerly meant that i was extremely envious of your wealth and success. i am sorry and ashamed to acknowledge your astute observations about my lack of success. any chance you could help me out?

Rogers said...

You also sadly overestimate my "wealth". Not like those Catwoman residuals are rolling in.

Of course I'll help. I already said I was praying.

Anonymous said...

Want some jargon from the drama side?

Traffic cop scene: one of those scenes where the head dude in a procedural doles out jobs (investigative tracks) to his underlings.

A Winona Ryder: Bad Voice Over, a la winona's poignant old lady VO in Edward Scissorhands.

breaking: figuring out the plot of an episode

I'll think of more for ya when I'm wider awake.

Anonymous said...

"Cast Tossing" was known as "the Rock and Roll" on the old Irwin Allen action shows, according to a documentary I saw.

Anonymous said...

Here's a question, for sitcom or drama: is there a term for those one to two minute "catch up" pieces that tell you all about the plot points and characters you may have missed up until this point in the arc of a series?

I'm not talking about a "Previously on..." or a "Last time on..." - they're a relativley new device, and they'll last over a minute and just try to cram everything you might need to know in. I think they're used at the begining of a season, or once before a crucial episode.

Rogers said...

We usually call them "Previously On"'s, both words used as the proper name for the noun. A situation where the hackneyed device became a shorthand for a whole category.

mkublin said...

I've been told that the term "schmuck-bait" is used in sitcoms and possibly elsewhere to refer to a premise for an episode that would that would mean the end of the show. You're baiting the audience, only to undo what's been set up, so the story is kind of a waste. Example: On Three's Company, Jack decides he's moving out. We know it can't happen because it would end the show. The exception is if the whole show is based on this. On Gilligan's Island, every episode was about them trying to get off the island, but of course they never did.

mkublin said...

On the Trek [tech] question, I saw scripts that used the bracket format while working at Star Trek: The Experience in Las Vegas. We were told that this is how scripts on the shows appeared as well. Established terms like "transporter beam" and "deflector shield" were just typed out, but stuff that was made up for one episode had to be "fact-checked" to make sure it didn't conflict with real science as far as was known, or with established fake science or jargon. It looked like this:
DR. CRUSHER
My bioscans indicate that the [tech] are transforming his DNA at the cellular level.

The actors received their scripts before the tech term was filled in, and would later get an updated script. Sometimes, though, they would be told what to say right before shooting. Hope this helps.

Rogers said...

That's the right definition of schmuck-bait, but it can be used in more general meanings in the room than show-ending concepts. That's whay it's defined in another post. Hmm, I should link to those.

Anonymous said...

Question: I shamefully admit that I watched the Mork & Mindy behind the scenes movie NBC aired recently...and there was a term the writers used in a scene, but I could not discern what they said.

The definition was something akin to "an unoriginal joke we know will get a laugh." Any idea what it is? It sounded like they'd said three letters, an acronym of some sort.

Alex said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Alex said...

Possibly unrelated story about "the bono": I grew up in Houston, Texas; and I remember Sonny Bono opening up a bar/restaurant there around 1985, in a spot that had previously been a parking lot. It shortly closed, and another restaurant opened at the same location...which also shortly closed. This pattern continued for several years, until the location again became a parking lot. I guess the curse moved east...

Anonymous said...

JLS = joke-like substance - a sort of half-funny place-holder until you can think of a real joke.

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