Yankees Suck

Ahhhh, is it that time of year already?

'Fugees

Still linkslutting as I write. From Boing, an article about a Blogstorm within the Middle Eastern blogging comunity. A well-read Iraqi traveller posted about his mistreatment while attempting to vacation in Jordan -- Jordan being the most likely spot for Iraqis trying to get a little excitement now that the Surge has brought a stifling sense of peace and quiet to Iraq.

Some Jordanians rightfully point out that Jordan's doing it's best, but the influx of refugees from Iraq is already straining its system. The generally accepted number for displaced Iraqis is 4 million, with about 2 million mostly in Jordan and Syria, and 2 million kicking about internally. For the empathy-impaired imagine 40 million Americans on the run from their homes, 20 million making do as they can in the US and another 20 million fleeing to Canada, Mexico, and maybe Britain. (numbers for current US homeless bounce between .7 million and 3.5 million, depending on the squishiness of the definition).

For the empathy dead, let me simply point out that a couple million homeless refugee kids living in poverty with (right or wrong) vague memories of America destroying his country = lots and lots of radical fundamentalist recruiting fodder. The word for the decade will be "blowback", folks. Learn it. Love it.

This of course allows me to link to John Robb's Global Guerillas again. A far greater threat to our security are "hollowed-out" states and failed states than "rogue" states. And we went in and hollowed out Iraq like a frikkin' jack-o-lantern. Or I suppose one could argue that the Rumsfeld Doctrine and Bush Administration just kind of carelessly let it be hollowed out rather than actually wielding the scoop. I don't think that implies a lot of moral high ground.

Rule #421 for the 21st Century: Do not topple governments without assuming that the worst case scenario is, indeed, what will occur.
I suppose that makes Rule #422: Therefore, do not topple governments without assuming you will be providing infrastructure and security for 10 years.

Some people would argue that makes Rule #423: Do not topple governments. I happen to disagree, as I think things like Afghanistan were justified and well executed (even though we dropped the ball on nation-building there, too), and there's a big gradient between invading a joint and exercising soft or targetted power. A better rule might be the one my grandfather passed down -- Rule #423: A man's got to know his swing. That goes for countries, too. You got a government you want overthrown, you got maybe a third of the number of guys you need to secure it afterward, then to step up and take that swing is idiotic. To staff that rebuilding effort with cronies and twenty-three-year old Young Republicans with no foreign service experience crosses into criminal.

I mean, the responsible thing to do is get experienced, tough-minded guys like this:

Wieringo

I'd like to extend my sympathies to Mike's family, his friends, and his legion of fans. I never got a chance to work with him, but Mike Wieringo brought something unique to our corner of the entertainment universe.

He brought JOY. Every bit of work I ever saw of his, you could feel it. Holy shit, we're telling adventure stories of people doing amazing, wonderful things! This is FUN, goddamit! These stories should be FUN.

Warren linked to the above piece of art already, but I'd had it on my hard drive forever as an "inspiration piece", to remind myself of a certain tone for writing. Wieringo captured that tone better than almost anyone I can think of, with his re-imagining of Buck Rogers. For what little it's worth, the reason I loved Wieringo's work was because it made me want to live in that world.

TV articles

Working on a book review for the Spec Monkeys, so this'll hold ya. Denis McGrath over at Dead Things on Sticks has some excellent links up:

-- a link to a breakdown on the latest pilot script structure trends. Do not chase trends, by the way, as they tend to be products of individual networks' editing and broadcast quirks, but good to know.

-- Two subjects in one post: Brits are thinking about going to longer seasons. I appreciate the motivation behind this, but I think it's a mistake. 6-13 makes great TV. Period.

Also, a bit on David Shore's process on House. While some people may think this freelancer-intensive process is new, it's actually how television drama was done all during the 70's and early 80's. Useful because this is precisely how I suggested we write the show we've got in consideration over at TNT. Now I have someone else I can point to, save me some discussion time.

-- A pretty decent discussion of USA's Burn Notice. This show has been my bete noir this season, whipsawing me between my love of Donovan as an actor, some very gooey USA-tinged writing, clever spy tradecraft, and episodic directing alternating between "1980's cable TV police drama" and "seriously damn fine." It is generally cursed with a soundbed that's both treacly and omnipresent. And the act structure feels weird. But damn if I'm not there every week.

Oh, and Bruce Campbell. So, c'mon.

Thank God for the Mainstream Press

Craig Mazin eviscerates a magnificently bad article on the current Writer's Guild/Studio negotiations from, of all places, the New York Times. The stuff in there -- "lead writer" and "junior writer", that "most screenwriters" get an upfront payment of $1 million dollars per screenplay (!!!!) ...

Boggling. For those of you not in the industry, this is roughly the equivalent of saying "Fees for teeth cleaning are split between the lead dentist and a secondary dental technician known as the Adjuct Toothologist, They are usually paid an upfront fee of warp drive crystals and a bed of golden vaginas. Then, ponies fight werewolves to determine residuals as proscribed by the ancient, inscrutable druid ways."

I am not exaggerating for effect. The Times article is precisely that stupid.

This goes into the file, by the way, for the next time I get into (another) discussion with a journalist about how the high fact-checking and editorial standards of the mainstream press are all that's keeping us from sinking into a morass of rumors and spin. It's not that I reject the mainstream press, a some people do. I just don't much care for anyone's air of infallibility. And that "air of infallibility" is the attitude carried by so many journalistic establishments* without, frankly, any decent justification whatsoever. It is often a selling point, despite cries of self-modesty.

* (EDIT: professional journalist Flynn rightfully points out in the comments I overgeneralized here in the original post, lumping in all journalists with those specifically aggrieved by the challenge to their authority and the professional establishment that to a great degree depends for their business model that you only trust X sources of information. He's right, and I apologize for the thoughtlessness.)

Many Dirty Filthy Bloggers are assholes with attitudes. But sometimes we're experts in highly specialized fields, and there's nothing constructive in getting huffy and defensive about one's career as a generalist being threatened.

(Further Note: "bed of golden vaginas" tm Warren Ellis -- in a post about me, of all things)

Fair Warning

When writing a DC comic book featuring the villain Giganta, a fifty-foot tall woman, do not just Google "Giganta" while trying to figure out her mass. At least not with Safe Search off.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. It's just a helluva thing to be wading through before my morning coffee.

BOURNE structure

Hold the spoilers for the comments, please.

I liked the new Bourne. But forget for a second the sliiight over-use of shaky-cam (really? the diner scene between the reporter and his source? Couldn't have locked that off?) and all you spec-monkeys feel free to gaze in wonder at what I believe is a genuine first in film screenplay history.

Yes. A genuine first. If you don't count the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead variation. When the moment popped, I actually sat there, open-mouthed.

Nested sequels. Sonovabitch.

Go watch Bourne Supremacy again right before you see the new one. I owe Tony Gilroy, Scott C. Burns, and George Nolfi a big scotch.




NOTE the first: I actually tried to do something like this on Cosby, of all things. I was, of course, mad.
NOTE the second: I had forgotten, until I looked at the IMDB page. Doug E. Doug's character name on the show, Griffin Vesey, comes by an extraordinarily circuitous path from Denmark Vesey. Sometimes we geeks on the staff have to amuse ourselves.

The CORE, bitches!

With apologies to Chapelle.

Today, via Oliver Willis, (mine was based on the giant French one, this is in Mexico):


and ...

Japanese Journey to Center of the Earth (oh we tell you it's just a drill. I signed an NDA ...)

Aaron's invention in the movie was based on both this and a project a friend of mine worked on for his graduate degree:

New Radar Can See Through Walls

My point is not validation, as petty as I can occasionally be. My point is that science is cool, and will provide all the fantastic ingredients we desire for our wee scifi adventures.

Brings back memories of arguments at the studio. When I came on the project, they were rather proud of the ideas they'd come up with ...

Studio: The vessel that digs to the center of the earth --
John: Yes?
Studio: Has a diamond windshield.
John: ...
Studio: DIAMOND WINDSHIELD!
John: You realize, this vessel digs. It is constantly digging.
Studio: Yes!
John: Then what will you see through this windshield?
Studio: Not following.
John: You know when you're driving through very heavy rain, and you can barely see?
Studio: Yes.
John: Now imagine that rain is magma and rock.
Studio: ... oh.

The fact that I managed to keep the dinosaurs out of the movie (I am not shitting you) was a bloody miracle in itself. This is generally why the science in sci fi movie sucks, by the way. It's not that we writers have no faith in the audience being able to understand the science -- it's getting the science past executives who a.) are science illiterate and b.) believe that if they don't understand it, the rube audience won't.

(That's not because they're elitist, by the way. They're narcissistic. That distinction is, if not important, at least relevant)

In retrospect, it is -- with the exception of one or two particularly awful bits of plotting from the studio (Project DESTINI) -- exactly what Jon Amiel and I set out to make. An old school 1960's science hero movie.

Also in retrospect, we probably should have told Paramount that's what we were making, as they were rather expecting Armageddon. Whoops.

Now as to that "wiring a computer to a shortwave radio" crap in Transformers, don't look at me.

Beginner's Guide to BitTorrent

Over at Lifehacker. Seeing as several studios have just signed distribution deals using this mechanism, this is a useful and perfectly legal bit of information you should know in analyzing current media delivery systems and their impact on production.

More Than Blah Blah

Casting, meetings. In the meantime, courtesy of David Slack, who I met as our staff writer on Jackie Chan Adventures and is now a big-time one hour writer ...

ROLL OUT!