Tuesday, November 20, 2007

It Never Changes

It doesn't matter how many times you stare at them. The pages suck, and one marvels at the fact that after ten odd years I cannot guarantee at least a minimum of non-suckiness. (It's not a screenplay I'm working on/fouling up, just so you know. Before I get reported to the Scab Squad...)

Consider this an open thread of non-suckiness. That is, your favorite bit of writing, be it screenwriting, novel, news, whatever, from the recent past. An entire book, a passage, or even a single moment in an entire television show.

112 comments:

EditorJDC said...

"Everybody lives, Rose! Just this once — everybody lives!"
The Doctor

Doctor Who
Empty Child - The Doctor Dances

Editor JDC

Alex Epstein said...

I'm still pleased by a couple of things in an adaptation I wrote of the Odyssey oh, about ten years ago.

And as for recent, total, utter non-suckiness, there is Alec Baldwin playing Redd Foxx and five other '70's TV characters inside one minute of 30 ROCK a few episodes ago...

FSK said...

My favorite bit of writing is my own blog!

http://fskrealityguide.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

The Moon is a Harsh Mistress

I just reread that. Yeah, it's got a lot of faults, but the language, narrative and sheer number of ideas is fun times.

Big green to whoever brings that to the big screen.

Anonymous said...

The end of SEVEN DAYS IN MAY, which TCM refuses to schedule for me because it thinks I have dandruff and I stink.

The whole of HOW I LEARNED TO DRIVE, because it's a thing of deep structural integrity and soulful perversion.

The Zombie, by Nellie Mc Kay; it got me through cheap-ass monster movie season.

Writing the backstory to the play I haven't cracked yet -- at least when someone asks me what's going on, I know part of it, now.t

Joshua James said...

Early Peanuts stuff is incredibly well-written, sort of small haiku's of human tragedy and humor . . . there are so many that I cannot even begin to list, but just a little girl with a psychiatric advice stand instead of a lemonade stand is pure genius -

I wrote about it extensively on my blog here: http://writerjoshuajames.com/dailydojo/?p=487

What's fascinating is that every major character in Peanuts fails at their dream - Snoopy and the Red Baron, Linus and the Great Pumpkin, Lucy and her love for Schroeder, Charlie Brown and everything . . . they all fail and it's great reading, especially the first two decades . . . as good as anything written, it really is -

Unknown said...

The character Ray Hicks, in Robert Stone's 1974 masterpiece 'Dog Soldiers'; "Real life don't cut no ice with me."

SwimLFS said...

Editor,

That moment at the end pushes all of my buttons. All of them; I might be cheap, but Eccleston's palpable joy following the gut-punch of surprise by Jaime underscores, without saying out loud, that in war, most people end up dying, or being ruined by it.

A for me, the dance scene from "Captain Jack Harkness" episode of Torchwood. It's maudlin and a little melodramatic, but it's so...right. After watching it, I could just think that gay little 13 year old me would've been better off for seeing it then...

"World War Z." Gah, all of it. Particular highlights would include the bayou run, the Battle for Avalon, the K-9 units, the turtle. It's the only zombie anything that's made me well up over and over again. I've had the book for four days, I've read it twice and dog-eared it to bits. It's so good it gives me nightmares.

Charles Stross's "Iron Sunrise." Alan Furst in Space with totally terrifying villians and great action sequences.

...and, anything by Alan Furst.

Elliott said...

The introduction to A Confederacy of Dunces was fabulous. The novel did not move me as much as that foreword where Percy describes how he reluctantly agrees to read the proffered manuscript delivered by O'Toole's mother and slowly realizes what he has.

Anonymous said...

We left them in the clutches of the celebrated Turkish guide, "FAR-AWAY MOSES," who will seduce them into buying a ship-load of ottar of roses, splendid Turkish vestments, and all manner of curious things they can never have any use for.

Murray's invaluable guide-books have mentioned 'Far-away Moses' name, and he is a made man. He rejoices daily in the fact that he is a recognized celebrity. However, we can not alter our established customs to please the whims of guides; we can not show partialities this late in the day.

Therefore, ignoring this fellow's brilliant fame, and ignoring the fanciful name he takes such pride in, we called him Ferguson, just as we had done with all other guides. It has kept him in a state of smothered exasperation all the time.

Yet we meant him no harm. After he has gotten himself up regardless of expense, in showy, baggy trowsers, yellow, pointed slippers, fiery fez, silken jacket of blue, voluminous waist-sash of fancy Persian stuff filled with a battery of silver-mounted horse-pistols, and has strapped on his terrible scimitar, he considers it an unspeakable humiliation to be called Ferguson.

Mark Twain - The Innocents Abroad

Cunningham said...

I can usually pull out a line or two that I find the clever in, but on the whole I am never satisfied. Story deadlines have to loom over me like the executioner's axe before I let a story go.

Hell, Jean-Marc has already gone to print on a story of mine that I still really want to edit. I am going to be a nightmare when I tackle the novel next year.

"Hush" by Joss Whedon is one of the better examples of TV non-suckiness that I can recall.

Geoff Thorne said...

We speak it here, 'neath starlight's sheen,
One truth that all who live must learn.
From first to last and all between
Time is the fire in which we burn.

Anonymous said...

THIRTEEN!!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm not going to remember it exactly, and the comics are in the closet in the sleeping son's room. But it's something like:

These are not our weapons, these clumsy, noisy things. Our weapons are quiet. Precise. In time I will teach you to use them. Tonight your weapons are your fists and your brains. Tonight, we are the law. Tonight, I am the law. Let's ride.

Batman in Dark Knight Returns. Because then his horse rears up and...oh, just trust me. It's bitchin'.

CKL said...

I still love this bit of Aaron Sorking genius from the late, great Sports Night:

You guys know who Philo Farnsworth was? He invented television. I don't mean he invented television like Uncle Milty, I mean he invented the television. In a little house in Provo, Utah. At a time when the idea of transmitting moving pictures through the air would be like me saying I've figured out a way to beam us aboard the Starship Enterprise. He was a visionary and he died broke and without fanfare. The guy I really like though was his brother-in-law, Cliff Gardner. He said to Philo, "I know everyone thinks you're crazy, but I want to be a part of this. I don't have your head for science, so I'm not gonna be much help with the design and mechanics of the invention. But it sounds like, you're gonna need glass tubes. See Philo was inventing the cathode receptor, and even though Cliff didn't know what that meant or how it worked, he'd seen Philo's drawing and he knew he was gonna need glass tubes. And since television hadn't been invented yet, it's not like you could get 'em at the local TV repair shop."I want to be a part of this", Cliff said, "and I don't have your head for science. How would it be if I taught myself to be a glassblower? And I could set up a little shop in the backyard. And I could make all the tubes you'll need for testing." There oughta be Congressional medals for people like that. I've looked over the notes you've been giving over the last year or so, and I have to say that they exhibit an almost total lack of understanding of how to get the best from talented people. You said before that for whatever reason, I seem to be able to exert authority around here. I assure you, it's not 'cause they like me. It's because they knew two minutes after I walked in the door that I'm somebody who knows how to do something. I can help. I can make glass tubes. That's what they need.

(More at Wikiquote)

CKL said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CKL said...

I mean "Aaron Sorkin," of course. Curse those fat fingers!

Anonymous said...

http://whedonesque.com/comments/14650#more

"When Buffy was flowing at its flowingest, David Greenwalt used to turn to me at some point during every torturous story-breaking session and say “Why is it still hard? When do we just get to be good at it?” I’ll only bore you with one theory: because every good story needs to be completely personal (so there are no guidelines) and completely universal (so it’s all been done). It’s just never simple."

Joss Whedon

Anonymous said...

I have known exile and a wild passion
Of longing changing to a cold ache.
King, beggar and fool, I have been all by turns,
Knowing the body’s sweetness, the mind’s treason;
Taliesin still, I show you a new world, risen,
Stubborn with beauty, out of the heart’s need.

'Taliesin', by RS Thomas

Anonymous said...

When I first read Snow Crash I had to read the first chapter three times before continuing, I loved that Hiro Protagonist pizza delivery thing.

Not much has had such an immediate 'yes, dammit that's brilliant' effect since.

Anonymous said...

"Memory, prophecy, fantasy - the past, the future and the dreaming moment in between, are all one country, living one immortal day. To know that is wisdom.

To use it is The Art."

- Clive Barker, "The Great and Secret Show"

"Already when I watched them they were irrevocably doomed, dying and rotting even as they went to and fro. It was inevitable. By the toll of a billion deaths man has bought his birthright of the earth, and it is his against all comers; it would still be his were the Martians ten times as mighty as they are. For neither do men live nor die in vain."

- HG Wells, "The War of the Worlds"

"It was the day my grandmother exploded. I sat in the crematorium, listening to my Uncle Hamish snoring in harmony to Bach's Mass in B Minor, and I reflected that it always seemed to be death that drew me back to Gallanach."

- Iain Banks, "The Crow Road"

(best opening line/hook ever ?)

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying."
- Woody Allen

Jason Michelitch said...

This paragraph from my favorite book - WATCHING by Harlan Ellison, a collection of his film essays - has been stuck in my head since the first time I read it.

"I'm certain that when I really do lie on my deathbed, the look on my mother's face at that moment will sneak back to strangle my spirit. The real crimes we commit cannot, somehow, ever be expunged. We pay and pay, right up to the last moment. There simply isn't enough in the exchequer to settle the debt."

Anonymous said...

Just got the new Kubrick box set from Warners. (Ordered pre Strike or course.) And Private Joker's last lines in "Full Metal Jacket" always get me.
"I am so happy that I am alive, in one piece and short. I'm in a world of shit... yes. But I am alive. And I am not afraid."
Every. Goddamn. Time.

Kubrick's films aren't just non-suck. They are anti-suck!

Anonymous said...

Babylon 5 : season 1 : Parlament of Dreams.

Each of the major speicies have displayed their religious traditions. Execpt the Humans of Earth.

The final scene has the various ambasadors waiting to be shown the human religious traditions along with a couple of the human officers.

Finally the commander of the space station shows up and leads the alien ambasadors to a corridor. Along the corridor is a line which we never see the end of, but contains at least 50 humans. Each in different clothes, every skin tone is present, everyone is just in a line waiting to shake hands or bow to the ambassadors.

As they go down the line each person is introduced by name and their faith. We never get to the end of the line as the shot fades out.

That scene still gives me a sense of pride that despite all of the differences humans can have with each other we can still work together could still get into space and that we have far more in common than we have different.

I still think it's the best piece of writing Joe Stracynski ever put on the screen.

However Babylon 5 also has the funiest line I've seen in a pilot

Sinclair to Garibaldi "... and sometimes you are a pain in the ass. And I wouldn't have it any other way."

I don't know if that one was intentional but it sure made me laugh.

Anonymous said...

From Warren Ellis' Bad Signal. Just a beautiful blast of 100 words.

"Another day down the mines of our lives. We drink 'til we stink and
smoke 'til we choke because that's how we get things done, you and me.
Spending our lives making things and making things out of our lives, because anything else would be dull as hell and we're damned if we're going to sit at the other end of whatever years we get saying, well, what the fuck was that for?

"Years of scars, lipstick and tears, and every day the dawn comes on we turn our eyes up in surprise, saying, "There's that goddamn sun again."


© Warren Ellis 2006

kkisser said...

I feel for ya. I'm about 50 pages or so away from finishing a novel that I've been working on for almost a year. Sometimes, I look at the pages I'm writing and just think, "Oh for fuck's sake, what are you doing!?!"

As I near the end, this happens less and less but still often enough for me to get the willies. I understand now on a visceral level why some writers are alcoholics. It makes the fear go away long enough for a few more pages to find their way out through your fingertips.

Oddly, I find that sitting down and watching a favorite movie or even just reading about it online will help, sort of a reminder of what good writing can lead to.

Simon Underwood said...

Aside from the entire three series of Deadwood, one bit of writing (and performance as well) that always strikes me as really neat, beautiful exposition of characters and their current feelings is Jodie Foster and Kristen Stewart at the beginning of Panic Room.

To remind anyone, the pair are silently picking at a pizza and Meg (Foster) seems particularly down:

Sarah: Fuck him.
Meg: Don't.
(Beat)
Sarah: Fuck her too.
Meg: I agree. But don't.

And then Meg fills up Sarah's glass of coke. Locking eyes with her mom, Sarah picks it up.


I love this because you get the sense of Sarah trying to be as adult as Meg in her emotion, purely to comfort her, but Meg, down as she is, still doesn't want to go the route of trashing her ex. Speaks volumes about their dynamic. Also, Meg filling Sarah's glass is key, as a few minutes later, we discover she's diabetic. So, Meg is bribing her daughter with the coke, and Sarah's eyes are saying she knows it.

Sorry to go off on one a bit there, but I just think that's a really elegant piece of scripting.

Rick Jones said...

Just about every word in Doctor Who: Time Crash. (David Tennant and Peter Davidson doing such amazing rapid-fire scenery chewing it made me all mistly.)

"You've changes the desktop theme haven't you? What is this? Coral?"

Unknown said...

I thought the introduction to World war Z was some of the smartest writing I've read lately. In just a few pages it sets the scene of the novel, explores why it was written the way it was and the focus it chose to have, and gave me this feeling of importance to the writing since it was written in defiance of the government. And all in character.

Other than that, I have been a bit obsessed with Legally Blonde: the Musical, lately. Not so much one line here or there, but the changes made from the film to the musical version are all so interesting. It's really Legally Blonde: The Musical: Feminist Masterpiece.

Anonymous said...

"To me, my X-Men"

More Whedon.

Last line, last page in the most recent issue of ASTONISHING X-MEN (#23). And the three pages before that. This whole series has been just CRANKING since it got back on the schedule, and that last issue was so good it made me go back and read, not just the whole run since '04 until now, but go out and get the whole Grant Morrison "New X-Men" run that preceded it.

rrwood said...

I've lately been paying attention to opening lines, and two of my favourites are:

"Garp's mother, Jenny Fields, was arrested in Boston in 1942 for wounding a man in a movie theater. This was shortly after the Japanese had bombed Pearl Harbor and people were being tolerant of soldiers, because suddenly everyone was a soldier, but Jenny Fields was quite firm in her intolerance of the behavior of men in general and soldiers in particular. In the movie theater she had to move three times, but each time the soldier moved closer to her until she was sitting against the musty wall, her view of the newsreel almost blocked by some silly colonnade, and she resolved she would not get up and move again. The soldier moved once more and sat beside her."

From The World According to Garp by John Irving.


"Coraline discovered the door a little while after they moved into the house."

From Coraline by Neil Gaiman.


I'm floored by how precisely these openings set the tone for the entire story, and how much tension Irving and Gaiman create so effortlessly (ha!).


I'd quote some Paul Quarrington too, but I don't have Galveston or Spirit Cabinet handy, and I don't think his opening lines are quite as deadly accurate.

Tor said...

"IMPORTANT— READ CAREFULLY :
This End-Reader License Agreement ("ERLA") is a legally binding agreement between you (the "READER") and Hamlet Monkeys Media (the "COMPANY") concerning your licensed use of the subtended text (the "BOOK"). By stipulation of this agreement, the BOOK includes all material printed on pages affixed to the binding at the time of purchase. The BOOK is also deemed to include any marginal notations made by you or any other user, authorized or unauthorized, and to include any and all ideas, notions, plans, designs, or intuitions formed by you, whether or not fixed in tangible form, during use of the BOOK or within thirty (30) minutes before or after its use. This agreement is a binding "flip-wrap" agreement; you agree to be bound by its terms by opening, reading, or flipping through the BOOK. If you do not agree to these terms, close the BOOK, place it back on a nearby shelf with the cover in a forward- facing position, and forget all of its contents. You may find it difficult to forget the contents of the BOOK. Do not be alarmed.

...

You hereby agree that any disputes arising under this license Agreement will be resolved through binding arbitration before a panel and in a forum determined in the sole discretion of the COMPANY. Any disputes determined unresolvable by arbitration, including but not limited to disputes concerning the enforceability of this Agreement or the meaning of its terms, will be resolved in accordance with the laws of the Government of Bermuda. In the event any dispute under this Agreement requires appearance in or before a court of law, the READER agrees to reimburse the COMPANY for all reasonable costs and expenses incurred in travel to or appearance in Bermuda. Reasonable expenses are deemed to include not fewer than three (3) rooms in an internationally recognized hotel of quality, daily continental breakfast for no fewer than six (6) persons, and availability of no fewer than two (2) vegetarian meals per day per person prepared exclusively with local and/or organic ingredients where possible. The COMPANY drinks only Volvic brand bottled water."

I still love this so much. And it isn't even the BOOK - it's just a joke added to the intro - and it's genius. The first two chapters are online here:

www.futurefeedforward.com

Trista said...

Note that I, too, agree with editorjdc about Dr. Who. ;)

The reveal in Dark City always gets me. That moment where suddenly, the universe is much bigger and scarier than it was before, because it all makes sense.

I'll try and think of another one as the day goes on. :)

John Seavey said...

The ending to the Film Crew's version of 'Wild Women of Wongo' still puts me in stitches. As each male member of the cast turns from his new jungle bride to the camera and winks at the audience...

"I won't be in the closet long!"
"Sure...I'm straight."
"I'm going to be away on business a lot."
"I have absolutely no idea where to stick it. None at all."
"I just have gravel in my eye."

It's a movie that has to be seen to be believed...and even then, I'm not sure I believe it.

(Oh, and also 'Time Crash' and 'World War Z', which other people have already mentioned. "Still, not many men can carry off a decorative vegetable.")

elan said...

From 101 EXPERIMENTS IN THE PHILOSOPHY OF EVERYDAY LIFE by Roger-Pol Droit:

"Consider humanity to be an error:

How often have we been told that we are exceptional! Centre of the world, children of God, universal consciousness, salt of the earth, intelligence, language-beings, spirit of science, vector of progress. Our existence has been so celebrated by myths, religions, philosophies, smug ideologies, that it is hard to comprehend our failures, our vileness, our interminable wars and our endless filth. Naturally, there has been any amount of special pleading, to explain our fall, our malediction and our two-facedness.

There is a way of experimenting with a more radical form of disillusionment, which is doubtless more beneficial. Rid yourself of anything that resembles a meaning to our existence. Consider humanity as a result of pure chance, a mistake, a biological accident. It developed without order, on some lost pebble in some small benighted corner. One day it will disappear for ever, unremembered and unmourned. For the tens of thousands of years of its survival, our species stagnated. Then it multiplied unreasonably, and plundered its own habitat. And before disappearing, it will have charged to its account a weight of suffering both unimaginable and futile, massacres and famines, enslavements and tyrannies.

Take a clear-eyed look at this absurd and violent species. Confront its lack of justification and its ephemeral, irrational existence. Train yourself to endure this vision of humanity as fundamentally meaningless and futureless. This should contribute to your serenity.

For against this backdrop of unmeaning and horror, every sublime thing shines out the more as a matchless gift. Perfect music, unforgettable paintings, the glory of cathedrals, grief-stricken poems, lovers' laughter... Such are the endlessly surprising fruits of this aberration that is us."

Juancho said...

I just read A Simple Plan by Scott Smith. Well-written, and shows how quickly we can slide down the moral slope. I just don't buy the ending though. (If you've read it, please join me in discussion.)

Haven't seen the film yet, it's on my list.

Nebris said...

“The essence of life is the smile of round female bottoms, under the shadow of cosmic boredom.” ~Guy de Maupassant

I suppose nobody reads him anymore, but I loved his work in my twenties.

Unknown said...

"Recent past" puts something of a cramp on it, so I think I'm going to have to go with the last 60-90 seconds of the first ep of Journeyman. The payoff for the cryptic setup scene much earlier in the ep, and Dan telling Katie, "I'll always come home"... that really did it for me.

Reaching back a bit farther, since somebody's already mentioned the first chapter of Snow Crash (will somebody hurry up and film that already?), I'll go with the Captain Crunch chapter of Stephenson's Cryptonomicon.

Ketan said...

"Terminator 2: Judgment Day"

John Connor: We've got company.
Miles Dyson: Police?
Sarah Connor: How many?
John Connor: Uh, all of them, I think.

"X-Men"

Rogue: Where am I supposed to go?
Logan: I don't know.
Rogue: You don't know, or you don't care?
Logan: Pick one.

Anonymous said...

"I'm not... I'm John Smith, that's all I want to be, John Smith. With his life... and his job... and his love. Why can't I be John Smith? Isn't he a good man? Why can't I stay?"
- Doctor Who, "The Family of Blood"

Also, the last chapter of Russell T Davies' Who novel, "Damaged Goods".

Anonymous said...

"There was a desert wind blowing that night. It was one of those hot dry Santa Anas that come down through the mountain passes and curl your hair and make your nerves jump and your skin itch. On nights like that, every booze party ends in a fight. Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands' necks. Anything can happen. You can even get a full glass of beer at a cocktail lounge."
-- Raymond Chandler, the opening 'graph of "Red Wind."

[also, the first, brief chapter of "Lolita" (which somebody transcribed here) and the first page or two of "Pattern Recognition."]

Rodneylives said...

Since someone already mentioned Film Crew, I'll bite. I greatly enjoyed the RiffTrax on Transformers. No offense, but that movie was nearly solid evil

Anonymous said...

NEVER offer such an invite to a man who wields a pen scanner!

Choose:

"I can't fail. This is all I am!"
- John Nash, "A Beautiful Mind."

===================

"The servant of Order, by the very fact that he strives to maintain an eddy of decreased Social Entropy in a hostiley Chaotic universal context must imagine dangers lurking around every corner. The servant of Chaos does not imagine such dangers; he *knows* that they are there."
Gregor Markowitz
The Theory of Social Entropy [pg. 99]

=====================

It looked to me like quite a bit of dough. But somehow, before I could realize what a good feeling it is to have some cash, it was gone. Only those people who have lots of money learn to appreciate the real value of money, because they have time to find out. On the other hand, how can people who have no money, or very little, ever find out what money really means? It is in their hands so short a time that they have no chance to see what it means. Certain people, however, preach that only the poor know the worth of a cent. This difference in opinion is the cause of class distinction. [Death Ship - B. Traven; pg. 38]

==================

[. . .] Sarah found people to talk to. She was lucky. Every time somebody spoke to me I felt like diving out a window or taking the elevator down. People just weren't interesting. Maybe they weren't supposed to be. But animals, birds, even insects were. I couldn't understand it. [Hollywood - Charles Bukowski; pg. 165]

"My God! These people! I feel like I've been covered in shit!" [Hollywood - Charles Bukowski; pg. 227]

====================

"You have the unperplexed attitude of a boy raised by priests. [...]" [Full Dark House - Christopher Fowler; pg. 28]

=====================

[. . .] Above Julius was Verdun's cot. Verdun, the latest arrival, had been born angry. She slept like a grenade with its pin pulled out. Only Thian managed to make her accept her existence. So it was that when she woke up it was always to find old Thian's face peering down at her. That way, the grenade agreed not to go off. [Write To Kill - Daniel Pennac; pg. 27]

====================

This last one to torment you, Rogers. Why? Eh, why not?

'It's so strange,' she said. 'We are going to be together now for years and years and years. Darling, do you think we'll have enough to talk about?'

'We needn't only talk.'

'Darling. I'm serious. Have we got *anything* in common? I'm terribly bad at mathematics. And I don't understand poetry. You do.'

'You don't need to -- you are the poetry.'

'No, but really -- I'm serious.'

'We haven't dried up yet. and we've been doing nothing else but talk.'

'It would be so terrible." she said, 'if we became a couple. You know what I mean. You with your paper. Me with my knitting.'

'You don't know how to knit.'

'Well, playing patience then. Or listening to the radio. Or watching television. We'll never have a television. will we?'

'Never.' [Loser Takes All - Graham Greene; pgs. 37-38]

impwork said...

Parts of "If this goes on" - Robert A Heinlein

"A Very British Coup" Chris Mullin

"The Dragon in the Sea" - Frank Herbert

"The Living Daylights" Ian Flemming

The entire Hornblower series C.S. Forester

Anonymous said...

Considering the date, Jorge Luis Borges' "In Memoriam, JFK." I read it again the other night -- it's short, less than a page; look it up -- and it cuts deep.

Anonymous said...

Angel. Season 3.

Darla's "birth scene".

Also: "It was perfect despair." (Angel, Season 2)

Just... holy shit, tear my heart out, okay? And make me believe I'll never be that good.

Dorkman said...

I can't list an all-time because it's tough for me. But one of my favorite RECENT lines in television came from this week's Heroes. Actually, two of them one right after the other, both said by HRG:

"Did you pack Mr. Muggles' doggy bath?"

That one's brilliant because in the context and performance it's the most epic, serious line since "Save the Cheerleader".

And then when Kirsten Bell's character tries to zap him but ends up zapping herself: "Hurts like a bitch, doesn't it?" I just love lines like that, and he delivers it perfectly.


One line I would personally have liked to see differently came from this exchange in the Four Months Ago episode, when Elle first finds and takes down Peter.

Bob: Did you have to hit him with the full blast?
Elle: (smirks) He can take it.

Personally I would have written it:

Bob: Did you have to hit him with the full blast?
Elle: (smirks) No.

Good luck with whatever you're writing!

Anonymous said...

Lately I've really been enjoying the writing on "Big Bang Theory" for its dead-on capture of the true physics geek conversations. And the actors are spot-on, especially a treat knowing they are NOT in reality Ph.D.s in physics.
Also want to mention Ray Bradbury's short stories, "A Winter's Tale" by Mark Helprin, and the descriptions in Patricia McKillip's fantasy novels - a visual treat.

Anonymous said...

2 more from Whedon:

The only exchange left in 'X-Men: The Movie' belonging to Joss:

Wolverine: Hey! It's me.
Cyclops: Prove it!
Wolverine: You're a dick.

And from the Firefly episode 'War Stories':

ZOE: This is something the Captain has to do for himself.
MAL: No! No, it's not!

Now I want to spend the long weekend re-watching Firefly... Guess I'm not getting any work done!

John Seavey said...

Ooh, 'Damaged Goods'. I feel so sorry for people who weren't following Doctor Who during the Interregnum, you missed so many good books. "Mrs Jericho wanted to buy British." Such a chilling line, such a chilling story.

And you missed the original version of 'Human Nature' (if you think the adaptation is good, they made the original available as an ebook, and it's way better), 'Transit'...

"'What did you do?'
'I asked them politely to let us pass.'
'What was with the bowing and scraping?'
'I used an eighth-century dialect that has since become accepted as the formal tongue of the Japanese royal family,' said the Doctor. 'I expect they were a bit surprised.'
'I'll bet.'
'And I doubt they understood more than one word in ten. Which is just as well.'
'Why?'
'Because what I actually said was, "Make way! For I am the official keeper of the Emperor's penguins and I must hurry because his majesty's laundry basket is on fire.'"

And then there's 'The Also People', which I have read two copies of literally to tatters, 'The Left-Handed Hummingbird' and 'Set Piece' ("What do I have to do to make you scream?"), and 'Sky Pirates!', 'All-Consuming Fire' (the meeting of the Doctor and Sherlock Holmes is priceless--"I see by...the cut of your...um, the calluses on your hand suggest...hmm."), and I could go on for literally hours about how many great books the series produced when it wasn't a TV show. But instead I'll just leave you with a quote from 'The Also People'.

"'You know, Chris,' said Roz, 'I used to really hate the robots back home, but now I'm beginning to miss 'em.'
'But Roz,' said Chris, 'you used to hate everything back home.'
'You're right. But since we've been with the Doctor I've found so many new things to really hate that all the things I thought I hated have begun to look much more attractive.' She sighed. 'I suppose it's true: travel really does broaden your mind.'"

Unknown said...

The Nine Billion Names of God by Arthur C. Clarke.

The science is horribly dated, but no matter how many times I read it, that last line always hits me like a glorious brick to the head.

Anonymous said...

There is a scene, in issue 7 of the Green Lantern Series Comic book ( no idea which run, pre paralax/pre kyle rayner )

Where after finally being confronted with inescapable proof that the world is really falling apart, Hal jordan says his oath, while recharging his ring. This has been steadily built to with 6 previous issues, where he steadfastly avoids using his oath, on account of his not feeling like a hero anymore.

marc bernardin said...

The first four minutes and ten seconds of the BBC's Jekyll. Hands down, the greatest opening for a TV show I've ever seen.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gGSxjDMFWA

Jambo said...

I can never read this with a dry eye. From the intro to We Were Soldiers Once, and Young:

"We were the children of the 1950's and John F. Kennedy's young stalwarts of the early 1960's. He told the world that Americans would go anywhere, pay any price, bear any burden in the defense of freedom. We were the down payment on that costly contract, but the man who signed it was not there when we fulfilled his promise. John F. Kennedy waited for us on a hill in Arlington National Cemetery, and in time, by the thousands, we came to fill those slopes with our white marble markers and to ask on the murmur of the wind if that was truly the future he had envisioned for us.

Jambo said...

Here is another I've always liked:

"Have I told you my theory of life, by the way? Life is like invading Russia. A blitz start, massed shakos, plumes dancing like a flustered henhouse; a period of svelte progress recorded in ebullient dispatches as the enemy falls back; then the beginning of a long, morale-sapping trudge with rations getting shorter and the first snowflakes upon your face. The enemy burns Moscow and you yield to General January, whose fingernails are very icicles. Bitter retreat. Harrying Cossacks. Eventually you fall beneath a boy-gunner’s grapeshot while crossing some Polish river not even marked on your general’s map. "

(Julian Barnes, “Talking It Over”)

Anonymous said...

What about these:

Movie - The opening screen from "The Player"

Book - "The Kite Runner"

TV - "Firefly", specifically "out of Gas" for

Mal: Get your prairie harpy off my boat, and put us back in the air.

Bester: Okay-y, but… can't.

Mal: What do you mean, "can't"?

Bester: No can do, Cap. Secondary grav boot's shot.

[Bester's local girlfriend calls out from behind the engine, where she's getting dressed again.]

Kaylee: No it ain't! Ain't nothing wrong with your grav boot. Grav boot's just fine. [waves to Mal] Hello!

Bester: She doesn't… eh, that's not what… [to Kaylee] No it ain't!

Kaylee: Sure it is! Grav boot ain't your trouble. I seen the trouble plain as day when I was down there on my back before. Your reg couple's bad.

and "our mrs. reynolds" for

Mal: Are you offering me a trade?

Jayne: A trade!? Hell, it's theft! This is the best damn gun made by man. It has extreme sentimental value. It's miles more worthy than what you got.

Mal: What I got? She has a name.

Jayne: So does this! (caresses the gun lovingly) I call it Vera.

Mal: Well, my days of taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.

Unknown said...

Just go read Dispatches by Michael Herr. Then read it again and again.

Anonymous said...

I was just re-reading some Planetary trades and there's something there that...shit!

Warren Ellis writes from another planet.

Mef said...

great idea for a post:

some of the writing I've enjoyed or at least stand out:

jeremy's speech about shootinga deer in Sportsnight

Joss Whedon (like i have to write his last name) writing of "Once more with Feeling", the way it continued the story, made sense as a stand-alone ep, and well, just about everything.

The Sandman.

Revolutionay Road by Richard Yates.


Mark Farrell

Anonymous said...

-- Maybe it's time somebody put you down, dog.

-- Well, maybe we'll rise again.

And the air support arrives...

And the line from "The Return of the King": "I go to my ancestors, in whose mighty company I will not now feel ashamed." There's an entire philosophy there. I want that on my tombstone (and I want to merit it being there).

Anonymous said...

The entire series of Deadwood, but particularly the second season.

"My bicycle masters both quagmire and boardwalk with aplomb. Those who doubt me...suck c**k by choice!"

(Joanie Stubbs offers Calamity Jane a drink)
"What's your preference, Jane?"
"That it ain't been previously swallowed."

Jerome Comeau said...

"Let’s set the existence-of-God issue aside for a later volume, and just stipulate that in some way,self-replicating organisms came into existence on this planet and immediately began trying to get rid of each other, either by spamming their environments with rough copies of themselves, or by more direct means which hardly need to be belabored. Most of them failed, and their genetic legacy was erased from the universe forever, but a few found some way to survive and to propagate.After about three billion years of this sometimes zany, frequently tedious fugue of carnality and carnage, Godfrey Waterhouse IV was born, in Murdo, South Dakota, to Blanche, the wife of a Congregational preacher named Bunyan Waterhouse. Like every other creature on the face of the earth, Godfrey was, by birthright, a stupendous badass, albeit in the somewhat narrow technical sense that he could trace his ancestry back up a long line of slightly less highly evolved stupendous badasses to that first self-replicating gizmo—which, given the number and variety of its descendants, might justifiably be described as the most stupendous badass of all time. Everyone and everything that wasn’t a stupendous badass was dead." From Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon

It's a paragraph that really lets you know what the rest of the book is going to be like: highly technical, extremely tangential, and probably quite amusing, in a dark and somewhat twisted way. It also says, rather in a roundabout subtextual method, that "this is a story that's going to cover a lot of ground; starting at The Beginning, and jumping back and forth quite a lot, and there's a good chance you'll get lost and have to start over along the way; this is not the sort of book to use ten words when a hundred will do--just accept it, move on, or pick another book." Stephenson is the only writer to make my Top Ten Favourite Books List twice. This is one of them.

Not everyone likes this book; not even all the people who like Stephenson like this book. It's large, and unwieldy, and often hares off on serious long-winded lectures about nothing at all in relation to the story -- the ultimate citation of this is the "Capt'n Crunch Section" which is, in essence, a fifteen-thousand-word essay on the best way to eat cereal...in the middle of a book about conspiracies, codes, programming, and World War Two (kind of). There's also serious complaints from the "literature" crowd that complain that the book doesn't have an ending so much as it just stops. I don't necessarily agree with this; the ending is somewhat unorthodox, but it's the perfect way to finish the book, and Stephenson has a particular signature with avoiding denouement in his stories. Like life, in fact, his books tend to go on after you stop reading. A careful analysis of my reading habits indicates that avoiding denoument seems to be a habit for the writers I like the most: Douglas Coupland, Jeanette Winterson, Stephenson, Sarah Zettel, Charles Stross and others.

I wouldn't necessarily think that this book is a Great Work Of Literature; that's for history and the reading public to decide. But I do think that this, and other work, is a brilliant literary snapshot of the culture and time-period in which is was written. Just as Cryptonomicon has some brilliantly naieve assumptions about the evolution of on-line banking, and Charles Stross' Accelerando is a very interesting interpolation about the interface of portable computing and WiFi access, the truths underlying the stories, and the people that inhabit them, are very real and interesting people that it is quite possible you could meet on the corner someday. Assuming you spent much time on the corner of, say, Market and Fourth Street in San Francisco.

Anonymous said...

Watchmen by Alan Moore

"Things take their shape both in space and in time. There are blocks of marble with statues embedded in some point of their future" (Jonathan Osterman, paraphrase)

I revisit Watchmen at least once a year to remind myself just how visionary comic books can be.

LuLu said...

Heronymus makes a reference to his top ten book list ... how does anyone come up with that? At any given time, I can have 4 or 5 books on the go - 1 to read on the bus to and from work, 1 in the living room, 1 in my bedroom, 1 in the office - you get the idea. I don't think I could limit myself to a top 10 because I have too many favourites ...

Does that make me a book slut? Cause I'm totally OK with that. There are worse things, you know, like Republicans or Harper Conservatives. Blech.

Gordon Harries said...

I really, really dug Hard Case Crime’s Reissue of Donald E Westlake’s ‘361’ last year, which is the novel that he later developed into the Parker books as Richard Stark.

And I’m currently enthralled by Charles Cumming’s ’The Hidden Man’ which may be the first truly successful modern espionage novel I’ve read.

Anonymous said...

"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents."
-- H.P. Lovecraft - first line in Call of Cthulhu

Best opening ever.

John said...

"You are surrounded by armed bastards!"

So great...

Trista said...

Thought of a recent one!

I really liked 3:10 to Yuma, even though I'm typically lukewarm on Westerns. I really don't want to spoil it, but the ending sequence was a spectacular combination of action and character choices. Yuma's not bad for one-liners, either.

"Even bad men love their mothers." --Ben Wade (Russell Crowe)

wcdixon said...

Rob Thomas and the opening lines from his pitch for 'Veronica Mars':


You want to know how I lost my virginity?

So do I.

Greg said...

Other people already hit Gaiman and Whedon, but no one's mentioned the best opening to a novel, ever:

"Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the western spiral arm of the universe lies a small, unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-three million miles is a blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.
This planet has, or rather had, a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which was odd, because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper which were unhappy.
And so the problem remained; lots of the people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones with digital watches.
Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans.
And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree to say how great it would be to be nice to people for a change…"

ThisBloke said...

Basically everything Whedon and Sorkin have done when they've really been trying to punch you in the gut - but off the top of my head:

"20 Hours in America - Part 2"

President Bartlet:
"More than any time in recent history America's destiny is not of our own choosing. We did not seek nor did we provoke an assault on our freedoms and our way of life. We did not expect nor did we invite a confrontation with evil. Yet the true measure of a people's strength is how they rise to master that moment when it does arrive.

Forty four people were killed a couple of hours ago at Kenneson State University. Three swimmers from the men's team were killed and two others are in critical condition when after having heard the explosion from their practice facility they ran into the fire to help get people out.

Ran into the fire. The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels tonight. They're our students and our teachers and our parents and our friends. The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels tonight.

But every time we've measured our capacity to meet a challenge we look up and we're reminded that that capacity may well be limitless. This is a time for American heroes. We will do what is hard. We will achieve what is great. This is a time for American heroes and we reach for the stars."

To stick to recent, Adam Duritz from the Counting Crows (the Delux Edition of "August and Everything After" has been released)and the lyric for Anna Begins is as good as anything ever done.

Anonymous said...

Watchmen.


What Greg said.


And suddenly revealing Dumbledore to be an eminence grise, or criminal mastermind or whatever, without it being at all (well, much) at odds with everything we previously thought we knew about him.

Jason Pollock said...

The Summer Tree - Guy Gavriel Kay.

The part with Paul on the tree.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the comments about Gaiman - there was a particular passage from the original Books of Magic miniseries about the nature of hell being one of our own choosing that was a favorite for years - and I would absolutely throw in more Moore than just Watchmen - some of the passages from From Hell, The Inspector's revlelatory acid trip from V for Vendetta ("La Voie, La Verite, La Vie..."), and just about all of The Killing Joke.

And Green Shadows, White Whale, by Bradbury. The whole damn thing is so beautiful it haunts you.

Many moments of Sorkin from the West Wing are certainly among the finest television writing moments I know of.

And "..that this woman, who looked as fertile as the Tennessee Valley, was a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase..." the first twenty minutes of Raising Arizona is complete genius, much of it in the script.

I also wanted to make sure that someone mentioned two pieces of Robert Hunter, the lyricist for the Grateful Dead. One of the last songs he wrote with Garcia, "Days Between," has been resonating with me lately - these two middle stanzas are very evocative...
There were days
and there were days
and there were days besides
when phantom ships with phantom sails
set to sea on phantom tides
Comes the lightning of the sun
on bright unfocused eyes
the blue of yet another day
a springtime wet with sighs
a hopeful candle lingers
in the land of lullabies
where headless horsemen vanish
with wild and lonely cries lonely cries

There were days
and there were days
and there were days I know
when all we ever wanted
was to learn and love and grow
Once we grew into our shoes
we told them where to go
walked halfway around the world
on promise of the glow
stood upon a mountain top
walked barefoot in the snow
gave the best we had to give
how much we'll never know we'll never know


Hunter also wrote an elegy for Jerry that I've always found particularly moving, and maybe it's appropriate for here because of the quest for the muse thing?

Jerry, my friend,
you've done it again,
even in your silence
the familiar pressure
comes to bear, demanding
I pull words from the air
with only this morning
and part of the afternoon
to compose an ode worthy
of one so particular
about every turn of phrase,
demanding it hit home
in a thousand ways
before making it his own,
and this I can't do alone.
Now that the singer is gone,
where shall I go for the song?

Without your melody and taste
to lend an attitude of grace
a lyric is an orphan thing,
a hive with neither honey's taste
nor power to truly sting.

What choice have I but to dare and
call your muse who thought to rest
out of the thin blue air
that out of the field of shared time,
a line or two might chance to shine --

As ever when we called,
in hope if not in words,
the muse descends.

How should she desert us now?
Scars of battle on her brow,
bedraggled feathers on her wings,
and yet she sings, she sings!

May she bear thee to thy rest,
the ancient bower of flowers
beyond the solitude of days,
the tyranny of hours--
the wreath of shining laurel lie
upon your shaggy head
bestowing power to play the lyre
to legions of the dead

If some part of that music
is heard in deepest dream,
or on some breeze of Summer
a snatch of golden theme,
we'll know you live inside us
with love that never parts
our good old Jack O'Diamonds
become the King of Hearts.

I feel your silent laughter
at sentiments so bold
that dare to step across the line
to tell what must be told,
so I'll just say I love you,
which I never said before
and let it go at that old friend
the rest you may ignore.


Sorry for the long pastings.

NoelCT said...

-- "The deuce you say!?" - Buckaroo Banzai --

-- After trudging through the muck of the series (thanks Rhino!), TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE (animated) was like seeing STAR WARS for the first time --

-- Gerard Jones --

-- "Oooh...Look at the bunnies..." - Peter David --

-- His first four novels were great, but Henry Farrell's fifth and final tome SUCH A GORGEOUS KID LIKE ME was a masterpiece --

-- Bill Mantlo. Exciting writer toeing the line between the campy excitement of the silver-age and the sqrawling complexity of the 80's. Tragic loss, though he's not yet dead --

-- "We may very well be looking at the stupidest man on the face of the earth." - RUTHLESS PEOPLE

said...

"... I have, myself, full confidence that if all do their duty, if nothing is neglected, and if the best arrangements are made, as they are being made, we shall prove ourselves once again able to defend our Island home, to ride out the storm of war, and to outlive the menace of tyranny, if necessary for years, if necessary alone.

At any rate, that is what we are going to try to do. That is the resolve of His Majesty's Government-every man of them. That is the will of Parliament and the nation.

The British Empire and the French Republic, linked together in their cause and in their need, will defend to the death their native soil, aiding each other like good comrades to the utmost of their strength.

Even though large tracts of Europe and many old and famous States have fallen or may fall into the grip of the Gestapo and all the odious apparatus of Nazi rule, we shall not flag or fail.

We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British Fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old."

It fills me with awe every time I read it.

Andy Diggle said...

Cormac McCarthy's THE ROAD absolutely knocked me sideways.

Anonymous said...

Goddam. I didn't know there even was a series, Jekyll. Those four minutes were brilliant writing, directing, editing, acting -- the whole schmear. Thanks!

Let me add a Dennis Potter line from The Singing Detective, so I'm not all OT:

Words. The little devils. *Words.*
-- Philip Marlow [pg. 226]

Anonymous said...

I wasn't thinking back this far originally, but if Churchill is fodder (and damn good fodder at that, thank you!), then let's talk about chills up the spine.

There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their self-hood and robbed of their dignity by a sign stating: "For Whites Only." We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until "justice rolls down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream."

Whole damn speech kills me every time.

Anonymous said...

I was just remembering the episode of "Battlestar Galatica" where Chief builds the stealth Viper. And just the memory of the end where he reveals to President Roslin that he named it "Laura" made me tear up.

And it did it again as I typed this.

Mark said...

The writing for the television show House is some of the most brilliant I've ever seen. Great example: "One Day, One Room" (season 3, episode 12).

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Anonymous said...

"Well, I've kissed you in France and I've kissed you in Spain
And I've kissed you in places I'd better not name
And I've seen the sun go down on Sacre Coeur
But I like it much better going down on you"

from the song "Rosy and Grey" by legendary Canadian band Lowest of the Low

Anonymous said...

"Open up the door, she's standin' there
with the smile in her eyes but the grey in her hair
betrays the fact you strayed far from home
with your drinkin', your smokin', your whorin' around
sit down by the fire, put your feet on the grate
spend the night reminiscin' 'til the hour grows late
always remember at the end of the day...
you can always go home...you just can't stay."

from American Wake by Black 47

Probably the only use of "at the end of the day" that I would ever endorse!

Anonymous said...

OK enough of the great lyric writers...the movie line that made me laugh the loudest at last years Toronto International Film Fest:


"This is sukiyaki, not a dang lollipop!"

Quentin Tarantino in Miike's 'Sukiyaki Western Django'

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kLINIK oBAT mANJUR said...

Bismillahhirrohmaanirrokhim.... *************************

Unknown said...

Kadang disertai
dengan sakit saat kencing, perih, organ intim terasa panas menyiksa,
gatal,..

Unknown said...

Sekitar Vagina Tumbuh Daging, Berbahayakah? Kutil Pada Kepala Penis mirip bunga kol atau jengger ayam, Merupakan Penyakit Yang diakibatkan Oleh Virus.Kutil kelamin, atau disebut juga condyloma acuminata, adalah kutil atau daging berwarna kulit atau keabuan yang tumbuh di sekitar alat kelamin dan

Unknown said...

penyakit yang ditularkan melalui hubungan seks : vaginal, oral dan anal. Juga dapat menular melalui persentuhan kulit dengan daerah yang terinfeksi.

Unknown said...

Obat Ambeien Resep Dokter Ambeclear dari De Nature Ampuh Tuntaskan Ambeien Sampai Tuntas

Cara Mengobati Wasir Ambeien said...

Bismillahirrohmannirrokhim ........................

Unknown said...

Sebelum kita membahas tentang pengobatan ambeien, dalam kesempatan ini
saya ingin menjelaskan sekilas tentang ambeien, agar kita semua bisa
memahami benar apa itu penyakit ambeien

Unknown said...

obat wasir, Adalah  Obat alami berkhasiat dalam bentuk kapsul yang berasal dari tanaman herbal seperti daun ungu, mahkota dewa dan kunyit putih, diberikan pada penderita jika penyakit masih dalam tingkatan stadium ringan

kLINIK oBAT mANJUR said...

Bismillahhirrohmaanirrokhim.... ***************************

kLINIK oBAT mANJUR said...

Bismillahirrohmannirrokhim ......................................

kLINIK oBAT mANJUR said...

Bismillahhirrohmaanirrokhim.... ************************************

obar herbal manjur alami said...

111111111111111111111111111111

kLINIK oBAT mANJUR said...

111111111111111111111

Unknown said...

manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur manjur