Thursday, August 17, 2006

SAFE MEN on DVD

via CHUD. There is nothing else to say other than a.) now, you people have no excuse. Go watch Rockwell, Zahn, and Giamatti rock the house and b.) Yes, sweetheart, I will go pick it up on my way home.

48 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Safe Men is a damned good movie. I discovered it on either IFC or Sundance a while back. Jewish mob in Rhode Island... how brilliant is that?

Anonymous said...

DICK: So you're saying, in fact, there was no bump at all from the Gatorade scare?

TONY: Well, Fox was out in front of the bump... too far, as it turns out.

GEORGE: In other words, Blair humped his white ass here for nothing.

DICK: Frankly, I think we should have let one go out, just so we'd have more visuals. People have so little imagination these days, as it were.

GEORGE: Can we make this quick? I gotta get pretend to crack open my Camus. How's our Isreal plan working out?

TONY: You didn't read the summary of the memo?

George stares angrily.

TONY: Could have gone better.

CHENEY: The trick is to get the news cycle, as it were, away from everything we do, if you follow.

GEORGE: Where's my "water" bottle. Not the poland springs, Snow, the "Russian Springs."

TONY: Ohhhh. I'm still the new guy, Mister President.

GEORGE: Sir?

TONY: Mister President... Sir.

GEORGE: He can be taught! Heh. Heh. Heh.

CHENEY: What's Ailes got?

TONY: Jesus, he's working full time trying to come up with a version of Macaca that doesn't sound like shit.

GEORGE: Why isn't it just spelled like canoe? Fucking French.

CHENEY: We need something that will go 24/7 for at least a week. Longer if they poll the fucking soccer mom's and nascar dad's again.

GEORGE: Come on Snowman, what do we pay you for?

CHENEY: What would be Van Sustern's wet dream? You know, if old broads had wet dreams. What one story...

A lightbulb goes off over Tony's head.

SNOW: Ramsey's death.

GEORGE: Good. Let's kill him. I'm going out for a ride. Where's my ipod?

DICK: Not Ramsey Clark. The little girl in Colorado. The dead one.

GEORGE: You got one more minute. Then I'm two-wheelin'.

TONY: Alright. I'm just spitballing here. But if we got justice to find us an Andy Perkins type--

DICK: Who the fuck is Andy Perkins?

TONY: You know. From Psycho.

DICK: That's Anthony Perkins you retard. How did you get this job?

TONY: Okay. Don't shoot.

DICK: Christ get a new joke, Snow. What are you? Jackie Mason?

GEORGE: Alright, this is my delegation moment. I'll be back for dinner.

DICK: Pig?

TONY: Have a good ride.

GEORGE: SIR?

TONY: Yes. Sir.

George leaves.

DICK: Alright, so we get our Mexican to scrape up a perv.

TONY: We go all Manchurian on his ass, next thing you know he's in Thailand--

DICK: What the fuck is he doing in Thailand, Snow?

TONY: Getting us at least one extra cycle when the bring him home.

DICK: Yeah... good.

TONY: We get him on tape confessing his love and looking like the most photogenetically creepy character on the news channels not counting Larry King.

DICK: Risks?

TONY: Minimal. And we'll keep Jimmy Hoffa on standby, just in case.

Anonymous said...

Dear KFM,

I wrote you the little one act above and gave ten bucks to your charity as payment for cutting and pasting your brilliant fear piece to answer this-

"Laws are being violated Civil liberties destroyed"

By terrorists you defend and my people kill. Then you attack the only world leader stopping their gross, rampant violation of civil liberties over trivia and political gain. Keep fighting the good fight. You guys are cute to have around so long you stay out of power.

-- From the proprietor of Tennapel.com. He's a producer at Nickelodeon who if he's not a sociopath, certainly plays one on his blog. If you've never checked it out, do yourself a... well I wouldn't say favor. It's worth it for just those moments when he pens his oddly homoerotic peans to his "superhero" George W.

Unknown said...

I ... wow. That site was disturbing.

It is odd -- what is it about this President that inspires such weirdly intimate personal devoton?

Anonymous said...

Every American Beauty next door neighbor is in love with him.

I too don't get it.

Anonymous said...

Either I clicked the wrong link or I'm utterly confounded as to what those posts have to do with Safe Men.

Unknown said...

oh no, we went off the rails. It happens quite often. Now back to ON TOPIC.

Anonymous said...

Never quite got that about blog etiquette. If you come in late and see something down the scroll that you want to weigh in on you have the choice of posting it onto a probably dead discussion, or chiming in on a more current thread like a drunk at a dinner party. Hmmm... Internet so full of new problems.

Oh, yeah "Safe Men"... all hit, no filler cast. Thanks for the netflix tip.

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Anonymous said...

i'm sure it's been noted somewhere earlier, but ever since i read the nsa wiretapping decision:

"There are no hereditary Kings in America."
-- U.S. District Judge Anna Diggs Taylor, in ordering a halt to President Bush's warrantless surveillance of Americans

....i've thought, hmmm, judge taylor or her clerk must have read your Bar Talk post, all the way to the end. nice channeling of the zeitgeist, jr.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the good news. Been waiting for Safe Men to be out on DVD for quite some time. It really is a singularly brilliant comedy. For my money at least.

"I tried to stick my tongue down her throat and she punched me in the penis."

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