Friday, September 09, 2005

4GM Tech: TVix C2000U


One of the things I'm doing as I develop the 4GM model is trying to keep up on the tech. That hoo-ha you're looking at is a 3x5 inch 100GB hard drive. Porta-TiVo kids.

"Yeah, I'll just bring over those DivX eps of Lost and we'll watch them on your big screen."

or, to give the lawyers nightmares:

"Yeah, I'll just bring over those DivX rips of Lost and you can dump 'em down onto your hard drive."

Figure out the on-line file-based sales system right NOW Hollywood, because it's already too late.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

The Editorial

... for what it's worth, that kicked off the whole moodiness vibe, is here.

Somehow, We Have Grown Too Small for Our Britches

Bloody Hell, Schwarzenegger vetoed the same sex marriage bill that recently passed in California. Now that's his right, of course, as Governator, but the reason he gave is ten pounds of snaky in a five pound bag: These things are better decided by the courts or direct referendum.

(And by the way, because of a previous Proposition, this would've kicked to the courts anyway. So this statement literally makes no sense)

Can anyone even tell me how representative government is supposed to work in this country anymore under this bizarre neo-belief system? Judges are too activist -- except when they actively toss out the laws we want them to, or we kick legislation to them politicos are too cowardly to handle. Our elected representatives aren't actually responsible ... for lawmaking ... why don't we just go to direct referendum on every issue? Why even have elected representatives anymore? Is there some sort of internally consistent set of rules for determing what laws get determined by the legislature and what gets kicked back to the people? Just the ones involving icky fluids?

How does one teach a sixth grade civics class in this country now with a straight face?

My condolences to the thousands of loving families who are trying to live their damn lives without interfering with anyone else's rights or responsibilities. My personal condolences to fellow screenwriter John August, who wrote about this quite movingly yesterday.

(NOTE: heavy does of Irish bar-talk to follow. You may wish to move on to more positive or constructive blogs. Fair warning)

It's interesting -- several friends have expressed a current crisis of faith in God because of recent world events. As my relationship with God is a bit more ... distaff, I find myself having a crisis of faith in the probability that this country ... is even the country we think it is. That it will even hold together. Many people love their country. But this love, like any longstanding romantic relationsip, is based on delicate substructure of very useful self-delusion (which, might I add, is not a bad thing in and of itself.)

America the idea was founded by people who fled England rather than be told how to worship -- what to believe in. America the idea was created by men who valued freedom of speech, action and thought so highly they codified these ideas in the Constitution that's served as a model for almost every emergent democracy since. America the idea's first leaders were men like Thomas Jefferson, who said one of the two quotes I live my life by: "But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg."

But today, in America the country, we are told morality must be legislated. In America the country we have a government that treats the free press as a PR arm at best and a nuisance at worst. In America the country we are unable to guarantee our elections are fair, because somehow technology you use every day at your ATM is incompatible with voting. In America the country we have just seen hundreds of thousands of our fellow citizens abandoned by a government run by men who somehow manage to both preach government is a wasteful evil and have still made their private fortunes working for companies that suck off that same government's teat. In America the country we are told that dissent is un-American and traitorous ... After flying to aid their fellow citizens, firefighters were distressed to find they'd be used as community-relations officers and some as props in Presidential photo-ops, when they could instead be saving lives:

On Monday, some firefighters stuck in the staging area at the Sheraton peeled off their FEMA-issued shirts and stuffed them in backpacks, saying they refuse to represent the federal agency.

Federal officials are unapologetic.

"I would go back and ask the firefighter to revisit his commitment to FEMA, to firefighting and to the citizens of this country," said FEMA spokeswoman Mary Hudak.

See, insanely, I would think that a man who'd made his life's work running into burning buildings, and risking death every single damn day of his life in order to save the lives of other citizens of this country had already shown his commitment to fire-fighting by, oh, actually fighting fires. But now I know that's crazy talk. If you don't wear the right t-shirt, then your life's work is for naught. I do not use the word lightly, people and you know I preach moderation here at Kung Fu Monkey: but someone please feel free to explain how that is not fascism.

I've made my views known clearly, I think, before now. Regardless of the passports I carry, I am first a citizen of democracy, of equal rights, of the framework of personal privacy tempered with shared responsibility. My allegiance is to that idea, not necessarily the piece of earth where it took fortuitous root.

Is America the country still worthy to be called home to America the idea? We all have to answer that, in our own hearts. Many, including myself on my less-rattled days, say yes. But there is the pragmatic side of me, watching as the bright open future inspires too many to instead rally back into the shadows of their ideological caves, cringing and instead lashing out from fear and confusion ... I see a dark momentum. We have spent twenty years in a great and thunderous fall from what was once a common sense idea of what we should both provide to and expect from our shared society.

Some may read this as depressing, defeatism or just melancholy, veiled threats or even wishful thinking for a dire future. It's not, just more in the British vein of keeping one eye cocked on, as Warren Ellis recently referenced, the Grim Meathook Future that always lurks in the shadows. In the shadows of any nation, no matter how mighty. Sometimes my job as an essayist, I think, is to point and say "Look, look at what we can do, what passion and hard work can do, how high we can rise!" And sometimes it's to remind everyone that empires fall, there are no guarantees, we have been very lucky monkeys and -- you'll get this if you saw Rome this week -- "... snows always melt."

Never my favorite human being, but a helluva speaker, Bill Clinton famously said: "There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America."

I hope that is true.

Unfortunately, the other quote I live my life by: "Hope is not a plan."

Man, I need to start drinking again.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Good on Northwest

Hey all, plugging away on the rewrite article -- might bang up one on TV pilot pitching in the meantime to avoid too much downtime. Just wanted to mention -- my office was arranging to send some relief humans to Baton Rouge. During the research, we discovered that NorthWest Airlines -- and apprently no one lese -- will discount your ticket if you're travelling to aid in the relief effort. I 'm not sure what qualifications you need to prove, but a hearty thank you to them, and a heads up for you.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

For the Canadian Fans ...

... I just had a long talk with previously-praised writer Mark Farrell. Let's just say I'm spoiler-laden for the next season of Corner Gas. I'm sworn not to ... okay, just a few. Brent and Lacy enter the mysterious hatch Oscar and Hank dug up, while Karen, Davis and Wanda discover that the mysterious Others ... are from Wullerton *spit*.

That'll keep the messageboards humming!

Also been informed by reader David that Sundance will be re-running all eps of Slings and Arrows during September, with a full-season marathon on Sept. 17. So there you go.

Monday, September 05, 2005

HBO's Rome

If you bailed after the draggy, pipe-y, way too much gratuitous nudity first ep -- come back. "How Titus Pullo Brought Down the Republic" was a damn fine piece of entertainment. Some wonderful writing twists, the Legion characters fill out, and all the politics are cunning conspiracy and double-crossing, no more Beeb-style declamations. Marc Antony's secret showdown with the Senators was particularly nice.

Grab the first two on the Tivo, or read the summary of the first ep and jump in here on one of the nine thousand rebroadcasts HBO will puke out (or their inevitable coming thee-fer night). If it stays on this arc, it'll be a hell of a ride.

Writing: The Pitch

Craig over at Artful Writer just wrote a pretty nifty article on pitching. I particularly admire how he used the notoriously difficult Raiders of the Lost Ark as his model -- one of my favorite (firsthand, from the room) stories is how, after ages of trying to lay out the pipe on the Ark, Lucas finally said "FUCK IT, just have two OSS guys show up and we'll explain it all in one scene!" You'll note this is almost the exact same tact they took with Jurassic Park. But "pipe" is another article.

I want to be clear here. As a matter of fact, let's super-size this:

This is not an article on plotting, or even writing. Nothing here about the private little art you make in your head. This is about what to do in the room when you need to convince the Moneyguys to buy your idea. Period. This is all assuminmg you know how to write a damn fine movie.

Okay, off we go.

Craig lays out narrative pitching. Big detail on the opening scene, with a hook. Bullet point the character and exposition, leading into the first big plot point. "Anticipate and answer their questions." He scripts his pitches meticuolously, rehearses them to find the most naturalized delivery. He has a full treatment done (as do I, I just never show it to anyone.) This, I cannot emphasize enough, is crucial for a young writer. You can't be too prepped.

What little I can add is a different slant. This isn't for everyone, but I'll tell you what I do, and you can muck about with it to see what works for you. Craig covers how to pitch. I think I can offer some insight on what to pitch:

Not too much.

It's a little unfair -- my stand-up years mean my process is a little more relaxed. But there are meta-considerations here. You are not just telling a story: you are selling a story. To be blunt, people, you are asking some strangers to pay you. A lot. You must both exhibit competence and inspire confidence. And that word is pretty important, as you figure out how to pitch your story: "inspire."

To me this is important, because it is very, very easy to get lost in overly detailed plot point pitches. I have seen young writers in a pitch flat-spin into Andthen Syndrome: "They get the money, and then the criminals are right behind them. (andthen) A chase occurs, leading them into the swamp. (andthen) Once they're in the swamp, a cat-and-mouse game begins ..." Pretty soon the exec has heard the whole story, he can't remember half of the plot points --

-- what? He can't remember what he just heard?

Well, yeah. An average movie has anywhere, depending on your personal writing method, 35-40 sequences or around 60 scenes. It's fairly well established the top limit on sequence memory is somewhere around 7 or so discrete "items". Odds are, too much detail and what's wonderful about the story may well get lost in the muddle of trying to follow too many plot points. Your Moneyguy has to like this idea, then think about it later, then re-pitch it to co-workers, then agonize over the weekend -- it'd be nice if he could remember the damn story.

(And unless you're a hell of a raconteur, keeping that pitch interesting/entertaining all the way through will be difficult to say the least. Most of you have no idea what it's like to talk for even five minutes straight. Take it from someone who used to talk for an hour and a half -- even five's a tricky bit of business.)

There's also, not to be a weasel, the chance that as you plod through this scene-by-scene pitch, you will hit the No Button. The one detail, sometimes even the one scene that will work just great when written, but sounds like a load of pants when you pitch it. The Moneyguy was tooling along just fine -- when he hits the No Button, just that one hink, he may disengage. It could be something you can clear up with a simple question, but you're not giving him time for questions, are you, no, you're plowing along ... and now you're annoying. Some Moneyguys will interrupt. Not all will.

With this in mind, the single most important thing for me to determine before I pitch is:

1.) What is the question the movie is going to answer?

Think on that. You need this question. Not just for meta-writing reasons. Because there is a hell of a difference between walking into someone's office and beginning to unload a story on them, hoping they'll follow along ...

... and hooking them with a question they want answered. A question, to be blunt, is a bit of a mental cheat. An unanswered question is like when somebody hums half of "Shave and a Haircut". Ignoring it, that's outside human nature.

And you will not answer that question right away. You will tease them. You will unfold the answer to that question over the course of the pitch. Just as you arrive at a plot point that's a resolution, you will ask another mini-question to drive you through to the next major plot point. Waiting for the answer to that primary question (and the complicating others) is what gets your listener hooked, and keeps him hooked for your pitch. Info-dump bores. Questions engage.

Sometimes, it is a full-blown scene. When I pitched Global Frequency ... wait, here it is from my notes. It's still the rough version, but what I started with wasn't much different:

"San Francisco, beauty shot, night lights. Suddenly, a FLASH from an alley. For less than a second all the lights dim. Like a wave travelling across the city grid. Vuh-phooom.

Sean Ronin hears screams in the alley. You and I, we'd keep walking, but he's different. he checks it out. He sees a man sitting on his ass in the alley, back to a wall. Sean leans in: 'You okay?", and we SHOCK REVEAL that the guy is CUT. IN. HALF. LENGTHWISE. His whole left side is gone, right on the edge of a smoking crater of melted steel and asphalt. Even as Sean backs away in shock ... a ringing. A ringing cel phone in the dead man's remaining hand. And this cell phone -- like no other cell phone you've ever seen. Ten years ahead of our tech.

You and I, we'd run. But Sean answers the phone. A voice, a woman's voice on the other end asks: 'Who is this?'

'Sean Ronin. Who the hell is this?'

'Sean Ronin, my name is Miranda Zero. You are on the Global Frequency. (beat) And you have forty-five minutes to save the world.' "

Done, kids. Who the hell is Miranda Zero? Why didn't Sean Ronin do what every sane human being would do and run away? What happens in forty-five minutes? Wait, the dude frikkin' melted? What the hell is the Global Frequency?

I then followed up with the speech -- if you've seen it, the speech Jenny Baird breaks your heart with in the car, explaining what the Global Frequency is. But that doesn't answer all the questions. And each act break is designed to initiate more questions to replace the ones we solve as we proceed.

Sometimes it's literally a high-concept question. DJ McCarthey and I once sold a movie on two sentences (... they were two very good sentences.) Sometimes it's the exact same motivating question that intrigued you enough to explore the idea in a script. I recently sold a project with, "We all have this fantasy about what we'd do if the world ended." and used that (and the execs' discussion of their various escape plans and self-judgements) to launch into why telling this story was inherently interesting. Sometimes it's no more than a very interesting fact, and the question no more than "What the hell kind of story can you tell about that?"

That last one's a bit of a knuckleball; don't start with it, you'll blow your elbow out.

Frankly, I don't care what form the question is in. But you need to instill in that very busy human a sense of curiousity about the next thing you're going to say. Assuming you lack the ten years or so of raw performance experience, creating questions that need to be answered is the easiest way to do so.

This also serves as your northstar for the pitch. Every step of the pitch, you can echo that question -- if you get lost, fall back to it, and why its answer is intriguing enough to spend, oh, several tens of thousands of dollars paying you to tell them and possibly tens of millions of dollars for them to go answer that question for an audience. And, nicely enough, if you stumble across the No Button the power of the overriding question, the value of the story, will often carry your pitch past it.

Okay, moving on.

2.) It's about your characters.

Breaking plot is a bitch. As a result, it's easy to dwell to much on the spiffy plot you've managed to craft and forget the fact that the characters' actions are what we're there to see. Pick your three, maybe four humans we're going to be focusing on, know them backward and forward. Know their conflicts external, internal and vs. the other characters. Know their conflicts vis a vis the bigger themes of the movie. Yes, I know you'll have to do that to write the script. Not only do you need to do it now, you need to be able to vocalize those ideas on the fly.

Put a pin in that, because ...

3.) Beat out your entire plot. Now pick the tentpoles.

My personal structure style changes for every film, but it always begins as a weird blend of good old Syd Field and Lew Hunter's more aggressive first act structure. However, in the spirit of the "Rule of Seven", for films I choose to focus on the turning points of the script, the accelerants as it were.

a.) The opening sequence/hook
b.) the defining moment of the first act.
c.) The first act out.
d.) A pinch on the way to the midpoint,
e.) the big damn midpoint swing,
f.) the moment we know we're entering the third act and then
g.) the general conflict and defining moment of the third act

Remember those characters? Good, because now --

4.) Make sure you've anchored your characters and their conflicts to the tentpoles. If they don't relate -- well, then you fucked up. Restructure. I want to be very specific here -- in the pitch you shouldn't talk about a single big moment in the movie without it being in the context of how that is a big damn conflict scene for the characters involved. And I mean characters in conflict with each other and themselves, not circumstances.

That's not a coincidence, of course. Character conflict is story. Everything else is window dressing. To be crass, you want to create images in the Moneyguy's head of the scenes he's going to see, of the Very Expensive Actors doing Very Actory Stuff. This is tied into --

5.) Make sure your conflicts and plot complications raise more questions, leading you along.
Keep your momentum up. It is brutal, BRUTAL to keep your energy up when pitching from a too-deep sofa. The questions create a natural narrative flow. Don't always phrase them as questions, but you're all smart enough to know what I'm getting at here.

6.)
Have your visual moments. Writing movies, not short stories here, and even the most sedate of movies consist of some striking images. Have them to salt as needed through the pitch. The director will eventually toss most of them out, but right now you're the movie.

7.)
As Craig says, anticipate their questions ...

... but don't answer all of them. (more on that in a bit) Now yes, yes, pore through the pitch and anticipate the exec's questions. For example, one of the questions you get all the time, that no young writer ever can pull right out of the holster --"What's the tone?"

Well, you know the tone, of course, you're writing the damn thing. But I've seen a fair bit of phumphing as people try to summarize "the tone" on the fly. This is, by the way, just a clever way for the Moneyguy to ask "What good/profitable movie is it like?" without offending you with that declasse question.

But one of the things I do -- and again, you mileage may vary -- is actually get less detailed as the pitch goes on. I pitch the first act beat for beat, to really nail down the meta-question, the characters, how the audience will get hooked in, what the visual feel's going to be ...

... and then move along to the tentpoles, neatly summarizing the connective tissue. Only ever going into detail when it illuminates a conflict beat. The difference is in the third act, when I cycle back in on the ending to really nail down the images and feelings the audience (and your pitchee) will carry from the theater. Question/resolution.

Why the mid-movie pace change? A couple reasons. First, if you've done your job in the first act and with the Question, they're in. You know want them to react in a very visceral, emotionally connective way with the material.

You're trying to keep the big dose o'plot down to the slim little concept a stranger can take away with them -- understanding both how you'll mechanically tell the story and what interesting bits will occur while you're telling it. Those tentpoles I've listed are enough to insure that everyone in the room knows we're all pros, here people, we know how movies work, let's move along.

Also, I prefer when someone finds something a little unclear, or has an idea about how to execute a beat -- because they are then far more likely to stop you and ask for a clarifying question. They are engaged, they are participating -- you are having a damn conversation, and they are slowly, almost involuntarily taking some mental ownership of the idea. Are you going to do it the way they suggest? Often, in a word, fuckno. Or sometimes, hellyeahwhynot.

There's a weird little quirk, another human nature hiccup ... I almost hesitate to even type this, because it's one of my special little holdout guns: When you give someone information, they often zip right over it. But when they ask for it and you immediately produce an answer, that somehow seems as if you've done more work than anticipated. Here they are probing you ... and you're handling it on the fly! You are one creative and hard-working writer! I can feel confident giving you many monies to write your imaginary stories!

All this really boils down to changing the dynamic of the pitch. In my little opinion, using whatever techniques you glean from myself or others: the more you can shift the pitch from recitation to conversation the more effective and enjoyable the process will be. If all that winds up working for your personal style is the idea of the Question, good enough.

All that, it should also be noted, is for the New Idea Pitch. The Rewrite or Assignment Pitch is an entirely different animal, one we'll tackle later this week.

Oh, and in the name of all that's holy, no leave-behind. For TV series pitches yes, for movies -- never.

Good luck, and get back to work.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Still Writing. Suggestions ..

Bloody hell, it was easier when I didn't give a shit if what I wrote actually made sense to the spec-monkeys. This wee pitching project should be up tomorrow. Big props to Alex for actually having the patience to write a book on this stuff.

In the meantime, some notes:

-- Michael Showalter's The Baxter is a nice piece of work. Genuinely witty, constantly flirting with going over the top but somehow anchored by its sincerity ... parodying movies when necessary but then breaking into a real movie at the most unexpected of moments. Michelle Williams is carving a helluva a nice career out for herself, as is Elizabeth Banks. If you're overdosing on the CNN (you know who you are) it'll take the edge off.

-- I have no idea when the hell it''ll be on DVD, but I just watched Paul Gross act a smoking hole through the center of my TV screen in Slings and Arrows. It's too late to jump into the series now, unless Sundance runs a catch-up day, but damn. I may BitTorrent this, and you should toss it on the Tivo for when they rerun it.

-- to the nice folk who asked at the theater last night why I'm not blogging on Katrina: first, others are applying their expertise and research wizardry, and are doing a far better job than I believe I could in illuminating the situation. Second, whenever I start, I pretty quickly descend into a Conan-esque blind red rage, from which I emerge to find nothing typed but endless variations of "Michael Brown", "kleptocracy" and "bound in barbed wire and forced to kneel naked in the flood waters and eat the flesh of the dead", which proooobably isn't all that constructive. Serioulsy, I'm incoherent with anger and I try to keep my rants to at least some sort of structure. Just ... moving on. For now.

Back to work, see you tomorrow.