3:10 to Yuma

I'd forgotten that the DVD came out last week. The first movie in ten years I wished my Dad was next to me in the theater, watching with me. In a word, goddam you, America, for not making it the hit it deserved to be. Watched it again last night. Go buy it. Gooooooo.

Some recent emails have noted I seem cranky lately. You know, looking over the last few posts -- fair enough. Hmmm. I blame jet lag and, well, 3:10 to Yuma not being a megahit. And the middling artwork in the Angel comic book, compared to the Buffy comeback.

Luckily I read Terry Pratchett's Going Postal on my last flight. God that cheered me up. I'd forgotten the sheer delight his wordplay engenders. I should finally read the entire Pratchett library, look it up on line --

"Pratchett Diagnosed with Early-Onset Alzheimer's".

... come on. HIM?

Open thread on Pratchett, Yuma, Buffy and Angel, and Fate being apparently even pissier than I've been lately.

Pretty Much Turtles All the Way Down

I was just going to blow past the whole leaked Tom Cruise Scientology tape thing. Defamer did what Defamer does, we're moving on ... until I saw Ezra Klein, officially my favorite health care policy wonk, take a shot at it.

You know, I'm as Captain Mock-y as the next guy, but we're out of line here. All religions sound crazy if you don't believe in them.

I was raised Catholic, so for half my life I fervently believed God both had a Son through virgin birth and also WAS that Son (the Trinity's tricksy). Said God performed miracles -- including demon-fighting -- until some Italians nailed him to a tree, an act we remember weekly by consuming his Flesh. Not metaphorically, but thanks to a spiritual alchemy, literally his flesh. My Jewish friends are often hazy on transubstantiation, and react with horror when I explain the full ramifications.

Of course, Jews believe the Eternal and Almighty creator of the vast and infinite universe had a hangup about pigs and tattoos, and they also believe that certain rocks in the MidEast are so invested with Magical God Juice that they should fight and die over these rocks, rather than living comfortably in their natural habitat. By which, of course, I mean Manhattan's Upper West Side or the Beverly/Fairfax area.

Rinse and repeat for all belief systems.

I'm never going to do better than the South Park Mormon Episode -- which is possibly one of the sharpest bits of writing ever done about religion on television. But it's all about wrapping your head around the infinite. Once you decide to step away from a head-space predicate on physical evidence, whatever narrative you buy into in order to stave off the Madness in the Dark is pretty much as valid as the next. Gotta let it slide.

Except, of course, for Young Earth Creationists. Religion's meant to fill in the gaps of the Unknowable, not contradict the Knowable But Makes You Uncomfortable. There's a fossil record, assholes. Join the Enlightenment.

Lunch Discussions #4668: *SPOILERS*

CLOVERFIELD DISCUSSION -- bail now.













Tyrone: Black people had two jobs in that movie. Loot and get the fuck out of Manhattan. And you 'll note we accomplished both with alacrity.
John: Now I really, really liked the movie.
Tyrone: Me too.
John: But general rule: when you see a thousand rats running, priority one is to OUTRUN THE RATS. Do not stop and stare down and wonder where the rats are coming from.
Tyrone: "Oh hey. Spooky noise. I'm gonna stop running, stand here and fuck with the night vision --"
John: "No, no it's the red button under the --
Tyrone: "This one?"
John: "There you go. Double-click that annAAGGHHHHHH!" But seriously, we're talking general yuppie stupidity, not a black/white thing, right? Because 'black people would act different in a horror movie", c'mon, we're not hacks.
Tyrone: You'll note the monster didn't cross north of 110th Street. All I'm saying.

John Wells on the DGA deal

Courtesy Craig, we have John Wells on the DGA deal. I agree on a lot -- holy shit, distributor's gross? really? -- and differ in opinion only slightly. Wells has a much better read of the death of the broadcast rerun. I hadn't considered that context. He also covers the Internet Side letter, which I didn't realize also fell under the DGA deal. Which is why he is a huge smarty-pants producer and Guild negotiator, and I am a shmuck with a hobby website.

I'd like to see us backdoor in that sweet sell-through bump in EST onto DVD's -- that is, go to 3.5% of 20% after the first hundred thousand DVD's sold (or, hey, a million. pick a number). It would be consistent with redefining DVD's and sell-through as the same "concept" which will help us dodge tech-specific issues in the future. Ain't gonna happen, but they opened the door back when they wanted us to redefine EST as identical to DVD's, we're just walking through. (ooo, Law&Order-speak)

It'll be interesting to see what the sticking point is if/when we get back to negotiating. I would laugh (or at least chuckle darkly) if I wind up giving up on my beloved DVD bump and Craig becomes the holdout when the studios try to hold on to separated rights.

(Actually Not) Apuzzo. Not Again. (CORRECTED)

(NOTE JAN 21: As a commenter points out, although I always assume Apuzzo is using the Dirty Harry moniker as a sock puppet, I can't actually prove it. So the offending post is not actually made by the editor of Libertas. It is just made by its strangely most prolific writer -- 15 posts in the last 3 days, for example -- and I assume, as Mr. Apuzzo edits the site and slapped it up on the first page, Mr. Apuzzo approves its message. )

(I've changed my post to reflect this fact. If Jason Apuzzo does indeed find the Libertas post as offensive as I do, I heartily apologize for lumping him in with the whinging selfish fella who types under Dirty Harry. Look! Self-correcting blogosphere! Wheee!)



Over at Libertas, the conservative film website edited by the "Stupidest Fucking Guy in Hollywood", the fellow who goes under the pseudonym "Dirty Harry" is all in a dither over the NAACP Award Show getting a waiver.

That is the biggest crock of crap ever nuanced onto a press release. The NAACP is getting a pass because they’re black and they’re liberal. And now only a select group of writers are going to make their mortgage next month. Please, WGA, please keep trying to tell me about the “principle” involved in all of this.

I’m sitting here right now holding my breath over a job which could change my life — which everyday this damned strike goes on means one more day where any one of the millions of things that kill these deals could happen.

Where’s my waiver? Why can’t I work? And how about instead of wasting time dancing around the Maypole of the NAACP acting the role of the politically correct Bolsheviks you are, you negotiate like grown ups — like the DGA, who struck a perfectly fine deal in less than a week?

Note To The AMPTP: We all know how easy it is to buy off those BushDeranged race hustlers over at the once-great NAACP. Wanna end the strike? Stick a few million in all the right pockets and start NAACP PRODUCTIONS. And I have a story idea that would knock your socks off…

It’s also worth noting that this deal is getting almost no attention in the trades or anywhere else. Gee, wonder why…?

Ah, yes, John Wells. Infamous maypole-dancing Bolshevik.

(And, also ... "bolsheviks?" Really? Are we still Commie bastards even though there's not a Soviet Union? )

You know, I'm not sure what's the worst thing in this post. Is it the complete misunderstanding of how waivers work, and how many have been given out in this strike and previous ones? Probably not, as Libertas contributors have proven themselves relentlessly and repeatedly, to not really understand how Hollywood business works.*

Is it the kinda creepy race-baiting near the end, where "Dirty Harry" actually manages to combine a slam against the NAACP with a subtle hint that he himself is for sale? Impressive, but no.

Is it when he ignores how the AMPTP refused to bargain in good faith, opened negotiations with massive rollbacks and then walked out on negotiations over a month ago? Eh.

No, I think it's how the sheer, boiling resentment of those "select group of writers" segues uncontrollably to "I've got my CHANCE dammit, and you people are screwing it up!" He almost managed to make it seem like a principle was at stake but, Tourette's-like, couldn't keep his own narcissism and frustrated ambition from hissing free between clenched teeth.

Because this conservative "mystery blogger" is the only guy who's suffering from this strike. All those writers who got hired on their first gig and had it disappear under them, all the writers who have shot pilots (myself included) who may lose years of work because of a canceled season, all the other thousands of working Guild writers with kids and families who still -- apparently insanely -- support the strike, not to mention all the the physical production crews who are not working, no goddammit, he's the one taking it in the neck.

And if, miraculously, "Dirty Harry" does somehow get hired to write on something, I'm sure he'll take that health insurance (won by the Guild), take advantage of arbitration when the producers try to screw him (won by the Guild), and take his streaming internet residuals and electronic sell-through for his work (which wouldn't exist without this strike), yeah, he'll take all that with a big fucking smile.

Again, I have no problem with Libertas as an organization. I disagree with them editorially on some things -- primarily their weird obsession with "anti-American movies" made by indie producers yet held up as Hollywood sins, but again that's more just not understanding how the industry works. They have every right to press their agenda. But damn, people, find some frontmen who are not so nakedly frustrated at their inability to get a career. There have got to be some working Guild members who'll write for you. (Look! I'm concern-trolling! Wheee!)


* NAACP got a waiver because they're black and liberal. Just like famous activist Negro David Letterman.





(NOTE the second: And look, at 8:15 am today Dirty Harry posts about how he's always supported the strike, but he's just sick of the top fat cats 1% acting al Bolshevik-y, and he's one of the 95% who are just trying to build a career, etc, etc . so let's take the DGA deal and run, boys.

A deal that wouldn't be as good -- even he admits -- without the strike. And how exactly our guys were supposed to not spend their time dancing around the maypole when the AMPTP walked out of negotiations, well, no answer there. And the weird logical fallacy of why the already-rich Fat Cats are incredibly selfish because they're obsessed with "sticking it to the man" over residual payments that will primarily benefit future, non-rich writers ... it's just a mess. Just a mess of resentment and sloppy logic.)