Sunday, February 12, 2006

Accidents Happen

Hey, I'm not going to bust Cheney's chops on shooting that guy at all. I know it's an accident.

Because the prey Cheney hunts to eat, he strangles to death with his bare hands.


Mmmmm, orphan juice.

39 comments:

Benari said...

Perhaps it was just a warning shot.

I wouldn't be surprised if Cheney showed up for work this morning with a smoking shotgun on his desk.

"Anyone else thinking about talking to the Grand Jury? Good."

Anonymous said...

The text says the victim came up from behind, and that Cheney turned around and shot him. Well, I can tell you folks that during bird hunting you *never* *ever* turn around and shoot. Any experienced hunter can tell you this. Cheney is an idiot with a gun and should be charged accordingly.

Anonymous said...

Quail...people...

It's an easy mistake to make.

K-

Anonymous said...

yeah, accident, but with firearms, accidents are caused by dumbshits. i grew up hunting and fishing. i got my first hunting license when i was 11 and have kept one ever since. i served 8 years in the military, 3 of those in combat. i have never. ever. not. once. had an accidental discharge. i have never shot anything i wasn't intending to shoot. nor, for that matter, has anyone i hunt with. yes, indeed, accidents happen. but when i am around firearms every. fucking. thing. i. do. is. on. purpose.

Anonymous said...

Hey there. I enjoy your blog!

Does the Cheney quail hunting accident remind anyone else of that scene in Wedding Crashers? I know it's not a great thing that the like 78 year old guy was shot, but when I heard the accident happened while quail hunting, I almost fell off my couch laughing.

Vince: "Why am I wearing camoflauge, so the big bad quail won't see me?"

Given a new spin...

Vince: "Why am I wearing camoflauge, so big, bad Dick Cheneey won't see me (and shoot me...)"
-- sascha
sascha-design@yahoo.com

ZenPupDog said...

We at the PPGP have no love for the VEEP. The idiot that was shot is likely linked to FuneralGATE. For Cheney - let's say it was just an opportunity he didn't want to pass up. As perjury doesn't matter as much as a blowjob does to his zombie hoard.
I guess I'm the only one who remembers Poppy's Jennifer and how the media was silenced.
- ZPD

Geoff Thorne said...

Spit-take!

And now my day can begin.

Monkey Critic said...

Monkey heard Haliburton has already been given the job of fixing up Cheney's friend.

moleboy said...

the only thing thats surprising is that Cheney didn't eat this guy's brains.
c'mon.
like its any seccret he's actually a zombie king
(or, perhaps he simply needed blood for his nightly devil-worship-ritual)

Anonymous said...

definitely a microcosm of this administration:

1. official acts brashly
2. injury ensues
3. accident claimed
4. "there's no way i could have known"
5. outsider speculation of broken laws

and the kicker

6. no chance anyone could be prosecuted because the administration has done everything it can to be sure that any possible law enforcement officer is loyal to it.

it's only extreme luck that patrick fitzgerald got to investigate anything. beyond that, this administration will get away with anything.

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who heard that and wondered why it couldn't have been one of those times that Cheney was hunting with Scalia?

Doctor Memory said...

Everyone already knew: Dick is a killer.

Jacob said...

I think Scooter Libby got the message...

Anonymous said...

Fact: Last week the Bushies were dealt a body-blow to their post-Katrina PR cleanup as ex-crony Brownie turned on them in Senate hearings last week.

Fact: Leaks of a House report on Katrina due to be released on Wednesday call out both the White House and DHS/FEMA for their incompetence during Katrina.

What happened in between that conveniently generates a lot of "scandal" press, takes away valuable question time during White House briefings, and distracts/amuses bloggers?

Have we even seen a picture of the "accident" "victim" at the "hospital"?

Have any eyewitnesses come forward to describe what happened except for the ranch's owner, whose father helped start Karl Rove's first business, Karl Rove + Company?

Why was the investigating sherriff's deputy turned away by the Secret Service when he came to interview the Veep the day after the shooting?

Why haven't we seen Cheney in public since last week?

I'm not saying Cheney and his goons sandbagged Harry Whittington while pretending to flush a covey of quail, tied him up to the nearest cottonwood tree, and took careful aim with a 28-gauge shotgun.

But, you know, that's the way _I_ would fake a hunting accident.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps he thought it was Quayle

Anonymous said...

I might have to change my blog's value-statement to "Mmmmm, orphan juice."

Anonymous said...

ooooh, it gets better.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4714264.stm
A pellet that lodged in Whittington's heart caused a heart attack.

ZenPupDog said...

It was no accident! Harry Whittington was a message to others. Remember that Harry Whittington is the current chairman of the Texas Funeral Service Commission appointed to by then-Texas Governor George W. Bush. His board reluctantly agreed to pay $50,000 as part of the settlement to end the two year-old Funeralgate case.

Ponder this -

1. Vice President Cheney could not have shot Mr. Whittington at 90 feet, as stated in the police report — the shooting was "close range," 15 to 18 feet, and what we "heard" is evidence of a government cover-up.

2. The delay in reporting was to hide a possible extramarital affair with U.S. Ambassador to Switzerland Pamela Pitzer Willeford and the VP.

dress boots said...

Accident? shooting many guy an accident?

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