One more time, General ...

No, it's not a presidential candidacy website. It's a grassroots issues site. Just a good man trying to stop the country he loves from sliding into insanity. And picking winning issues with which to frame the discussion.

However, if it became a presidential candidacy site again, in the words of my friend Warren Ellis, "you wouldn't see my arse for dust." I'd be camped at his front door, trying to keep the idiot "Wear a sweater" Clinton advisors from getting back in.

I saw the man speak. I read his books. I had the luck to have a brief chat with him over some policy issues. If Wes Clark ran for president again, I can honestly put my big old sweater of cynicism aside and say I'd take a bullet for him.

And they ate it with SALSA!

Okay, Xoverboard made me snort milk through my nose, as he follows the newest Freeper conspiracy on the Schiavo case -- that the first Fed appeals judge turned down the reinsertion of the feeding tube because he was appointed by Bill Clinton six years ago.

He lays out exactly how the awful deed was done:

"... BILL CLINTON: Using my powers to see into the future granted to me by our Lord Satan, I've determined that a woman named Terri Schiavo who's been lying in a hospital bed for the last nine years will become the lynchpin for Armageddon six years from now. At that time, you will be faced with the opportunity to guarantee her death upon the weekend of the Resurrection of Christ, thus allowing Great Lucifer to rise again.

JUDGE WHITTEMORE: That's a great plan, Bill. But what about Jeb Bush? Him and his brothers are formidable allies with the All-Father.

BILL CLINTON: THE BROTHER LAMBS OF CHRIST SHALL NOT STOP ME! ..."

Go read the whole thing.

Crooked Timber

I cannot imagine what you folks who have been referred here by Crooked Timber are thinking with today's front page. Let's just say I tend to cover a lot of bases with my writing. Some of them are zombie bases.

Peruse the Archives or check the Link-Fu to get a better sense of how things run day to day here.

And now an excerpt from ZOMBIE TALES #1 

"Daddy Smells Different" pg.1 

"Daddy Smells Different" pg.2 

"Daddy Smells Different" pg.3 

"Daddy Smells Different" pg.4 

"Daddy Smells Different" pg. 5 

"Daddy Smells Different" pg. 6 

"Daddy Smells Different" p.7 

"Daddy Smells Different" pg.8
Pre-order ZOMBIE TALES #1 with five other stories, now at BOOM! Studios

Okay, NOW Zombie Tales

Okay, I'm printing this back to front, so when you come to the page, it'll scan properly, reading top to bottom. No peeking while I upload backwards, please.

Here come the pages ...

Test first, to see how Blogger formats.

Zombie Tales #1 CHUD cover 

ZOMBIE TALES preview

Hey there all, a special treat. CHUD is offering a special, exclusive variant cover of BOOM! Studios new comic, ZOMBIE TALES, drawn by the one and only Kieth Giffen. You can pre-order the CHUD variant on-line, without going to your local greasy comic shop and enduring the scorn of management and passer-bys alike. How good is it? It's scratch-n-sniff cover, people. Oh, yeah, and the book kicks ass also.

In honor of this, I'll be previewing my entire story in the book here at Kung Fu Monkey. If at any time you dig what you're seeing and want to enjoy more zombie anthology goodness, just follow the link to buy on-line. Get all the variants -- the cool kids are doing it!

Schiavo Timeline

Confused by the latest moral tulip-craze in the media? Here are some spiffy, factual resources:

Complete Schiavo Timeline of all events and court rulings. Very concise and clear.

Hey, doesn't Michael Schiavo have a conflict of interest? Cuz, you know, there's some lawsuit money involved! Well, no. For a nice little summary of Mr. Schiavo's attempted to give that money away, not to mention the several times he's turned down millions to walk away, we turn to our friends at the St. Petersburg Times.

So, to be blunt, anybody who says he's in this for the money is either a.) an idiot who hasn't bothered to do even the slightest reading or b.) a slanderous manipulative bastard. There is no c.) Feel free to review the testimony of the ConrgressCritters from last night and see who falls into which camp.

Oh, and don't bother commenting to this post. I'll delete them all, positive and negative. This is a fact-research post only.

Look, Miami got its tongue pierced. How shocking.

Okay, maybe it's just me. But after Elian, 2000 elections, the hurricanes, tazering kindergarten kids, this Schiavo case, blah blah BLAH if Florida throws one more"center-of-attention" drama queen hissy-fit at the great Thanksgiving family dinner that is the US, I will punch it in the goddam neck.

Look at your cousin, Montana. Does he cause trouble? No. He shows up early, brings beer and chips, and takes out the garbage. Idaho just gets drunk and falls asleep on the couch. Even California, who usually annoys the crap out of the rest of us with the New Age stuff she tries to sell all of us during halftime, at least she's the fifth largest economy in the world. She's not borrowing money from Mom and Dad. (Yes, I'm looking at you Tennessee and Alabama.)

Everybody else seems to wrestle their own crap to the ground. Give it a shot, Florida.